


When A Mullet Breaks Your Heart

by Eunioa



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Eventual Happy Ending, Explicit Language, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Jealous Keith (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Keith is a dick but doesn't mean to be, Kissing, M/M, Minor Original Character(s), Pidge and Hunk are amazing, Pining, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Slow Burn, blood warning, some homophobic language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-01 22:06:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11495697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eunioa/pseuds/Eunioa
Summary: When Lance confessed to Keith, the confident voice inside his head had led him to hope for...more. Instead, the declaration leaves him pining for a relationship that never even started and a heavy atmoshpere that everyone has to suffer through. It's fine, though. It doesn't have to be weird unless Keith makes it that way. Which he does. And it's not long after his confession that the awkward rivalry turns into something more toxic. Keith can't seem to figure out his emotions and, lo and behold, Lance is caught in the line of fire. Things don't seem to end well when you say things you don't mean.





	1. Something Painful

Lance thought the flip flop of his stomach would cease once he managed to work the words out of his mouth. That weight settled deep in his chest would rise, his anxiety levels would plummet, and the fucking need to run his damp hands along the sides of his pants would go away eventually. Right?

Wrong. He's so wrong. Everything seems to spike. His heart is desperately trying to break free from the confines of his ribcage and blood rushes to his cheeks; burning the tips of his ears so he’s practically forced to rub his neck in hopes of hiding it. And Keith is just _staring_ at him. 

No, wait. He said something. He said something?

“I-I’m sorry. One more time?” 

Keith winces. He’s got his hands up like he doesn’t know what else to do and his foot is already raised in an attempt to twist his body towards the exit. Lance doesn’t need to hear a response to know what it is. 

“Look, Lance,” Keith starts. There’s a noticeable unease in the Red Paladins eyes that Lance has no trouble catching. Which stings because they fucking fly robotic cats. In _space_. Unease should be the last thing flickering across his features when he’s just talking to _Lance_. “That’s not-” 

Pidge chooses that exact moment to walk in munching on a bowl of green goo and offers them a single look before pausing. She should have the decency to leave but she doesn’t, and Keith isn’t kind enough to finish their conversation in private. 

“I’m not,” Keith glances at Pidge. “Gay.” 

And Lance takes the word like a hurdle, merely jumps it and starts towards the next. “Neither am I!” He says urgently, smiling despite his desperation to really specify his intentions before things go south. “I’m actually Bi, which doesn’t matter but it kind of does. I mean, I just felt like it was a good time, y’know? What with Shiro back and everyone in high spirits. The bonding moment?” 

Keith flinches away when Lance takes a step forward. And _ow_.

“Lance, that wasn’t like, some green light.” He grinds out. Keith looks as desperate as Lance feels, only in a different sense. Like he can’t comprehend what this was. “Look, this is inappropriate. We’re guys. We’re-we’re rivals. I hate you, you hate me. That’s how it works.”

“But I don’t hate you.” Lance blurts. “Obviously I don’t hate you. In fact, I really like-”

“Stop.” Keith snaps. “Just stop. I’m forgetting this ever happened, okay? You’re not...You’re not...”

 _Normal_.

Lance swallows. “O-Okay. Just forget I said anything. This doesn’t have to be weird. Just forget it.” 

Keith stares at his feet for a moment before giving a slight jerk of his head in silent agreement. Like this was some fucking professional interaction between boss and employee. 

“Great, I’ll definately do that.” He mumbles before hurrying out of the room like he just caught Lance naked or something. It’s fine, really. He figured this would go one of two ways, but he had to admit that plan B was something he hoped wouldn’t happen. 

Keith just isn’t gay. It was a long shot, honestly. 

“Lance?” Pidge murmures gently, like he’ll break if she speaks any louder. “You okay?” 

Lance turns to look at her with a grin. “Fuck no.”

*

Now, being confined to a giant castle in the middle of space means you have to be smart when sneaking around. Especially since it’s emberassingly easy to run into people when you’re very obviously trying to avoid them. 

So Lance takes his walk of shame in the dead of night when he knows everyone else is asleep (accept maybe Pidge) and the showers are empty. He learned his eighth grade year that crying in the shower is always your best option. Red eyes could be passed off as lack of sleep or natural irritation. A runny nose and blatant tear tracks? Not so much. 

So he closes the doors and books it to the furthest stall in the back of the large room. It’s probably his paranoia, but he starts the water in three seperate locations along the wall, just for good measure, before stripping himself of his heavy clothes. 

And like a flimsy deck of cards, he crumbles to the ground the second he steps under the spray.

“H-hey, Ma?” He whispers through his sobs. If he tries hard enough, it’s almost like he’s talking on the phone. Can even picture it in his head. His mama would have her hip jutted out, pressed gently against the countertop in the floral apron he got her the summer before his dissapearence. He’d be able to hear her smile on the line, feel her concern masked with encouragement. “I-I remembered your advice. About telling people how you feel and stuff?” 

Now would be the time she’d coo her understanding. She’d walk further into the room so his siblings couldn’t hear the saddness in her words or his ugly sobbing. Like he’s doing right now. 

“I don’t-” Lance ducks his head and curses. His tears wouldn't stop. They just kept coming no matter how many times he blinked. He wished they stopped. “I don’t think it’s gonna work out for me. I think I ruined what little we had in the first place. I-” 

God. How did he end up like this. How did he end up millions of miles from home, in the middle of a fucking war he never signed up for, with people he wasn’t sure even _liked_ him. How come Keith had to be the one to break his heart? 

“Ma, I fucked it up. I fucked it up and I want to go home. I want to complain to you and Maria and have you guys cheer me up with ice cream. And I want dad to roll his eyes when I sing my heart out because for some goddamn reason I can’t sing loud enough out here. Nobody can hear you in space.” 

Not even when a mullet breaks your heart. 

Lance knows his mama would shut him up with a rush of spanish that not even his dad could decode. It’d be something along the lines of, _‘First of all, hijo, you watch your mouth before I come and smack those curses out of you. Second. You have no reason to feel ashamed.’_

Lance flinches and blinks his eyes open. Ashamed. Ashamed? Was he ashamed?

_‘A boy who hurts you for who you are is a boy that I won’t accept. You look at me now,’_

Lance feels his lower lip quiver and wishes he could. Wishes he could see her or hear the heat in her voice. Knows that if he could, everything would be okay. 

 _‘My baby boy. You’ve always felt so much.’_ She’d whisper. Not heartbroken, just heartsick _. ‘We love you, Lance. Who you are is what drives us to smile. To make light of heavy situations. Do not forget that you are loved here. And remember that there are just some people out there that can’t understand love themselves. There is nothing wrong with-’_

“Me.” Lance murmures. The water is lukewarm now. He knows he’s cried a years worth of tears and silently thanks his mama for pounding strength into his very being. 

So he rebuilds his walls. Starts from scratch and wipes the slate clean. No problem whatsoever. 

“There’s nothing wrong with me.” He mumbles while he towels off. “You’re in space for fucks sake. If anything, liking boys is the last thing you’re gonna be judged for. Just let it go.” 

The doors slide open and he let’s the steam follow him out into the hallway. 

I’m “And hey.” He whispers. “Now you can shamelessly flirt like it’s your job again. Maybe the next mission will involve saving a cute girl. Or a hot guy saving you?” Lance smiles at his feet and tries to remember the last time he hit on a guy. Keith put a wrench in that lifestyle real quick though. And even flirting with girls had been off limits in his time spent trying to impress Keith. 

But Keith was dense, hotheaded, and downright cruel at times. He never said anything nice, always pinned Lance a bit rougher than he’d consider friendly when they trained, and now looked at Lance like he grew a second head. 

Lance stops. 

“Why the _hell_  do I even like him?” He groans miserably. The doors to the hallway open in response and he wanders through with a frown. Keith had stupid hair and bad skin care routines. More like, no routine at all but that never took away from his natural beauty. Keith had the pale complexion of a porcelain doll. And yes, the mullet was stupid and old fashion but Lance had mused many a times that it’d be a great place to grab and hold onto. If the need ever came up. 

Which it never will. What with Keith hating him and all.

“Lance?”

“Oh quiznak!” He shrieks. The towel wrapped around his head spills down to the floor, leaving him a damp, flustered mess in his leaders line of sight. 

Great.

“Shiro? What are you doing up?” 

Shiro doesn’t answer at first. He’s got his arms crossed in that stupid stance he only takes when he’s about to scold Lance. And that’s probably what’s gonna happen. It’s entirely too late for him to be sneaking around the castle. He wouldn’t be surprised either if his thinking is what woke Shiro from his sleep. 

Any minute now. It’s coming, Shiro was just looking for the right words. 

Or no words. Because the taller man isn’t doing anything but looking Lance up and down, gray eyes entirely too focused on his face which triggers a blush despite himself. 

“You’ve been crying.” Shiro states gently. Lance wants to laugh it off, get mad, do _something_ to just, avoid the way this conversation is heading. But Lance is a passionate person. He feels too much, just like his mama always said. And Shiro’s concern, or, feign of concern at most, is all it takes to have his throat clogging with sadness. 

“Yeah.” Lance says, a wilt to his usual smile. “Ah, but don’t worry about it. I was gonna head straight to bed and show up to training on time. Just like always. This won’t interfer-”

“Lance.” Shiro interupts roughly, then, in a softer tone, says, “I’m not here as your leader. I’m here because you look like you need someone.” 

And crap. It’s really- It’s just unexpected. He doesn’t know how to cross this bridge with Shiro, especially since it’s been so goddamn tense between everyone. But if he was willing...

Lance looks at his feet. “Right. Okay, um. Can you hug me then? Just for a sec so I can-yeah, that’s perfect.” 

Shiro gathers Lance close and even goes as far as tucking the boys face into his shoulder. Lance won’t cry in front of Shiro. Or at least, he _shouldn’t_. But the way that Shiro holds him like he deserves this time of vulnerability is enough to send him sobbing apart in his arms. 

“I’m sorry.” Lance manages. “Sorry for waking you up. Sorry for getting snot on your shirt and making you do all this. Sorry I’m not-” 

Shiro’s flesh hand holds tight behind Lance’s head, cradles him close so he can’t pull away or even look up. “Don’t do that.” He huffs. “Don’t apologize when you haven’t done anything wrong. You’re doing great, Lance. Really.” 

“Okay.” Lance says wetly. He’s still got fat tears rolling down his cheeks when Shiro pulls back to look down at him. “I’m sorry. I know I’m improving, I know that. I just forget.” 

And he does. He has trouble remembering that it’s never really his fault when things don’t go right. At least, not anymore. But having Keith turn him down...

“You wanna tell me what’s got Pidge in an uproar?” 

Ten minutes later finds Shiro and Lance settled on opposite ends of his bed. It’s quite the experience, sitting in your idols room after ugly crying for a good five years. But Shiro is shockingly open with his expression, dare he say caring, despite the usual rigid, soldier- like attitude. It’s what he needs right now. 

“I never really had to come out.”

Shiro blinks but otherwise, says nothing. 

“My family kind of knew, I guess? Like, nothing was ever said about it and they were all comfortable enough to understand. But I never had to really, come out like most people do.” He’s not too sure where he’s going with this but he feels that if Pidge and Keith knew, than he might as well tell the man who had a tendency to be oblivious. “My dad tried for me. It helped, not making a big deal about it but I was still his oldest son. The one who was supposed to be a man, a good role model for the others, follow in your pops’ footsteps, y’know? And just before the Garrison, he told me to find a nice girl while I was out there. And that...that just messed me up. I thought, anything less and I’ll be a dissapointment.” 

He remembers his dad smiling at him as he was shipped off to the one place he felt he was made for. And he remembers keeping his dads words at the forefront of his mind. Compliment that girl, show them you’re normal. Flirt like you have nothing to hide because right now, you have _everything_ to be afraid of.

Be normal. Be normal. Get yourself a nice girl, Lance. 

“My ma always said to always let other people know how you feel. She thought-” Lance smiles at his hands. “She thought that holding your emotions in caused sickness so she always made sure to sit and talk with us. I thought, maybe this will work out. Maybe space is the place to just, put myself out there and hope for the best.” 

When Lance looks up, Shiro has something close to sympathy in his eyes. It’s honestly enough knowing that someone out there is listening. Shiro is hearing him. 

“Um.” He blushes. He hadn’t really thought this through so he tries to look anywhere but at his leader when he says it. “I told Keith that I l-liked him? I mean, I did. I do. Like him. But,” Lance fiddles with a string on his boxers and flashes a smile with no real enthusiasm. “Seems like Keith isn’t as interested as I had hoped, so...” 

“So that’s what this is about.” Shiro mused quietly. The white tufts of his hair had fallen between his eyes in his halfhazard state and the calculating look on his face cheered Lance up just a bit. A disheveled Shiro was definately a more relateable Shiro.

“It was a bad idea. Should’ve known with the way he kicks my ass during training. Just figured, go big or go home, right?” 

Shiro’s shaking his head so Lance tells himself not to laugh it off. “No, you deserve validation. Keith has a temper, though.” 

Lance looks at the bruises on his inner arms and nods. “Yeah. Which is why I told him when he wasn’t near his bayard.” 

Shiro chuckles and meets Lance with a gaze far too gentle to be real. “I don’t think he’d hurt you.” He murmures. “I just think you threw him for a loop. He’s not the best at doing the whole ‘feelings’ thing. He’s had it hard with the aspect of love and affection. It’s still very foreign to him.” 

Lance knows that. He get’s that Keith wasn’t going to drop to his knees and declare his own love, dip Lance and kiss him like it was some romantic comedy and not real life. All he asked for was...

Mercy?

“He doesn’t hate me more, does he? _You_ don’t hate me, right?” 

Shiro reaches out for Lance again and holds him like it’s the last time they’ll talk. From then on, it’s hard not to melt under the strong embrace as Shiro squeezes him. 

“I don’t hate you, Lance. We don’t hate you. As for Keith? Just let him think it through. And hey, if it doesn’t work out, there’s a whole galaxy filled with possible partners just waiting to be swept off their feet. You just gotta look.” 

Lance snorts. Can’t help himself with his word vomit.

“What’s next, the sex talk?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An emotional rollercoaster I foresee..


	2. Getting Somewhere Going Nowhere

The world around him spins, his stomach is thrown into chaos, and he feels the impact of the padded ground as it rattles his lungs hard enough to stun. It’s a good shot. He just needs to prepare himself for the next one as Keith rolls forward to go for the final blow. 

Lance raises his hips, gets a set knee beneath Keith’s rib cage and shoves up with as much force as he can muster. He could hear Shiro in the background clapping as he circled the mat and directed the two with complex instructions. 

“Up, Lance! You got him down now move!”

Lance rolls back, plants a foot on Keith’s hand and drops a knee to the center of the other boy’s back. There’s a pop and Keith grunts; sound muffled in the mat so he’s not too sure if it’s a genuinely painful blow or not. 

“Shit.” Lance hisses, jumping up with wide eyes as Keith struggles to right himself. “S-Sorry man. Is it bad? Did I-”

“ _Lance!_ ” Shiro groans from behind him. And that in itself is distracting enough to render him unprepared when the full weight of Keith’s shoulder slams into his gut. 

Strong arms wrap tight around his waist and he’s got enough time to let out a squawk before he’s thrown to the floor and pinned once again, a blade held flush with his throat. 

“Game over.” Keith huffs. “Finally got you to shut up, huh?” 

Lance rolls his eyes and tilts his head a bit to keep the edge from digging into his skin. “You got lucky, mullet. Had you not played the injured card I would’ve wiped the floor with your ass.” 

Keith smirks. It’s the kind of smirk that lights up his violet eyes and adds to the flush of exertion high on his cheeks. Keith only get’s like this with adrenaline coursing through his veins and it’s hard for Lance not to stare up in awe as Keith watches him. 

And just like that, the moment is gone. 

Keith pulls away like he’s been burned and stalks towards where Shiro is standing, looking over the footage of their hand to hand quietly. Lance struggles to his feet and wanders over himself, making sure he stays as far away from Keith as he can manage. 

“That was awesome, Lance!” Hunk whispers. His eyes dazzle with something close to stars as Lance beams and puffs his chest out. 

“Thanks, buddy. Looks like my works paying off, huh?”

Shiro hums to himself and tilts his head. “It’s shinning through. You did a nice job advancing but you hesitated on the take-down. Things like that don’t work well in actual battle.” 

Lance flushes a bit and thinks that if it hadn’t been for the other night, the criticism would have stung more. “Right. Don’t worry about your opponent, got it.” 

Keith sucks at his teeth and strays from where they’re standing. Lance is the one who needs help, not him. 

Shiro is still going on about the step sequence they’d created, marking the places where his footwork needed some adjustment. But Lance is completely focused on Keith. Blue eyes locked on their target as the other boy shadow fought his way across the mat in swift movements that looked like dancing instead of a murderous slash here and there. Keith was beautiful. 

“Eyes up here, kiddo.” 

Lance blinked and jerked to look back at Shiro with a blush. “I-I’m listening. Keep my feet flat and rest my weight on my heels. Don’t lock my knees, tighten my blows and look for repetitions. All up here, buddy.” Lance taps at his temple with a sheepish grin and Shiro looks satisfied enough to dismiss the footage. 

“Don’t forget that you did good.” Shiro says with all the seriousness of a leader. “I’m impressed.”

Lance can’t contain the grin he gives Shiro as the older man walks away to speak with Allura. Hunk is grinning just as wide as Lance heads towards them with a lightness in his veins he can’t contain. 

“Shiro thinks I’m awesome.” 

Pidge rolls her eyes with a snort. “Don’t go getting a bigger ego than you already have, Lance. I don’t think the world is ready for it yet.” 

Training goes better than it has since he stepped foot on the alien ship months prior. He ends up washing the sweat from the day with a satisfied smirk that hasn’t once left since his talk with Shiro. Maybe their heart to heart opened up a new door for friendship?

“Hey.”

Lance stops turning the towel on his head and stands up straight, eyes wide as Keith appears a good five feet in front of him. He figures Hunk sent the red paladin to retrieve Lance from the showers so he offers a friendly smile and continues wrapping his hair. 

“Hey to you, Mullet. Just tell Hunk I’m almost done. Just gotta change my shirt and I’ll be set-” 

“I wasn’t sent here to get you.” Keith interrupts with a frown. His violet eyes hold a sort of accusation that makes Lance cross his arms in a defensive posture. What was his _problem_? He tells Lance to basically fuck off and now wants to start a fight? Things had been going great!

Lance reaches into his bag and tugs on an old sweatshirt of Hunks that he wore when it was too cold to walk around in his robe. That and the way Keith was watching him made his skin crawl with unease. 

“If this is about me kicking you ass today than I’m sorry to tell you that it was bound to happen.” 

Keith doesn’t take the bait. If anything, it seems to visibly test his patience. “What were you doing in Shiro’s room the other night?” 

Lance feels his cheek heat with irritation and embarrassment. “Like I would tell you.” He spits. 

Keith doesn’t like that. He clutches the air at his sides and works his jaw to intimidate. 

Lance hates the way his heart speeds up. 

“What did you do?” He accuses. 

And Lance get’s it now. Sees what looks like disgust deep in Keith’s gaze as all the thoughts and possibilities race in his dense little head. Lance should take his stuff and tell Keith to fuck off but the way that Keith is coming at him has his hackles rising.

“I sucked his dick.” Lance deadpans. 

 _Estúpido_.

Keith slams Lance up against the tile wall so hard he feels his vision blur. He vaguely remembers Shiro saying Keith wouldn’t hurt him.

Keith’s hurting him. 

“You-”

“Calm down!” Lance gasps. “Jesus, dude. I was joking, fuck!” 

Keith takes in measured breaths, searching Lance’s eyes for any indication that he might be lying before finally backing off with a glare. “That’s not funny. It’s vulgar.” 

Only Keith would think so. 

Lance clutches at the back of his head and slides down the face of the wall. “For the record, _he_ dragged _me_ to his room.” 

“But _why_.” Keith hissed. He doesn’t have the decency to look guilty. Even when Lance’s fingers come away bloody. 

“Why don’t you ask _him_!” 

“Because I can’t! That will make me obvious and I don’t-” Keith stops himself and growls. “Forget it. I don’t give a fuck. Just-” He glances at Lance one final time. “Stay away from him.” 

 

*

 

“Am I dying?” 

Shiro huffs out a chuckle and hands Hunk a clump of gauze. Hunk douses the thing in antiseptic before coaxing the Cuban boys head forward and dabbing at the slight gash in his skull. 

“Thankfully, no.” Hunk murmures. “Although you probably have a slight concussion. Maybe an hour in a pod will do you some good.” 

Lance blinks to show he’s listening, even if he isn’t. His head hurts and the buzz beneath his skin hasn’t once died since Keith had left him alone in the shower room. To be honest, he wanted to beat the shit of that stupid mullet. 

“Tell me again how you managed this?”

Lance stared at Shiro with a frown. “I fell in the shower. My fault, just like I said.” 

“And the black eye?” 

Lance flinched and immediately felt at his face. “Keith didn’t punch me.” He blurted. And then, “Shit.” 

Shiro dropped his hand from Lance’s shoulder with a look of absolute horror. The gears in his arms clicked as if subconsciously readying himself for an altercation and Lance was quick to reach out. 

“Shiro, wait. It was nothing, really. I said something I shouldn’t have and it set him off. I was asking for it.”

“Lance.” Shiro growled; low and full of warning as he angled his body to leave in search of Keith. “I wanted to set him off.” Lance cried. He tries to wiggle off the table but the room tilts and he stumbles. Hunks the one that catches him in his thick arms. “He pissed me off during training today and I wanted to get a rise out of him. Keith wouldn’t hurt me, Shiro. Just like you said. I swear it was my fault. I swear. I-I swear.”

Lance sinks to his knees and feels a small trickle of blood trail down his nose. His words are slurring pretty bad and Hunk kneels to console him in his panic. It’s enough to get Shiro fussing over him as well, which is fine. He needs his leader to focus on _not_ Keith. 

“Okay.” Shiro says gently. “Okay, Lance. Let’s get you in a healing pod, okay? You’re pretty scrambled, aren’t you?”

Lance sniffs and feels the warmth of blood and snot trickle down his throat. It’s gross, so he sticks his tongue out at Shiro. 

“We’ll see you in a little bit, okay, buddy?” 

Lance hums, gropes at Hunk and let’s out a sigh when the pod closes and releases a hazy fog of sedatives. 

He’s out for a good three hours. 

And when the pod opens with a hiss, everyone's gathered around him with gentle smiles and tired eyes. 

Keith’s there too. He stands in the very back with a scowl that twists with guilt when Lance looks at him. There’s an apology in his gaze, and Lance does his best to accept it with two finger guns and a smirk. 

“Glad to see you’re still working.” Pidge snickered. Keith just rolled his eyes but continued to linger as Coran went over his health chart. It was a lot of useless information that Lance couldn’t really focus on at the moment. Concussion this, fractured skull that. Trauma to the blood vessels in his eye. It would look a bit pink for the remainder of the week, but all in all, Lance was healthy physically. 

Mentally...

“I’m sorry.” 

Lance looks up from where he’s shoving spoonful after spoonful of space goo into his mouth. Keith’s leaning against the table looking pissed off as ever, but with a dash of sheepishness this time. 

“Shiro talked to me.” He mumbles with a frown. “Why couldn’t you just say you two were having a conversation?” 

Lance isn’t sure whether this is an apology or an accusation. Either way, it’s irritating that he has to explain himself to Keith. Especially when he just got out of a healing pod for a fucking concussion. 

“I didn’t think I had to.” Is all Lance says in return. Because if Keith wasn’t going to be an adult about this, then neither was he. “Did it really matter so much that you had to go slam my head into a wall?” 

Keith has the decency to look guilty. “I said I was sorry. And if you hadn’t been a dick about it-” 

“ _I_ was a dick?” Lance screeches. “Keith, you pulverized my skull over a _joke_. Over something that wasn’t even your business to begin with. So excuse me for keeping secrets from you when you’re the last person I’d share them with.” 

“Fine. Whatever.” Keith snarls back. 

“Damn right.” Lance growls. “And if I want to talk to Shiro without your presence, then I will. He’s not _yours_.” 

Keith flushes at that and looks ready to hit Lance again when Lance flinches back, fully prepared to take another beating from the vengeful teammate. And Keith holds his stance, seems to notice Lance’s flash of fear before he relaxes his shoulders and looks away. 

“Like I said. Whatever.” 

Keith leaves Lance to his food goo and Lance isn’t sure why he feels bad. It’s not like what he said wasn’t true. But seeing Keith look like a kicked puppy made him groan with guilt. 

He needed to get over this crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, another one. I finally worked up the courage to throw something on here. I've been toying with this prompt for a couple months now and had a general outline of what I wanted to write. I really wanted to see what it'd be like if Lance ever confessed to Keith. And I know I made him kind of an ass but I was running with the idea that he doesn't really know how to feelings. Like, the very thought of Lance saying he likes him makes his brain shut down and error code everywhere. Being a hot head, I figured Keith might not be great at expressing himself and Lance is sort of his outlet while he works through it? I'm honestly scared to look back after I post things but I can promise I'm gonna try my hand and see this through. I'm just throwing myself out there right now so I hope it's somewhat okay.   
> haha.


	3. Face Masks And Fist Fights

Lance stood in front of his mirror with a fresh face mask on and an almost comical look of determination on his face. Hunk just barely fit next to his reflection, both of their faces schooled to be as cold and sinister as they could manage. They’d been at it for over an hour. 

“What about his skin?” Hunk huffed.

In return, Lance rolled his eyes and smirked at himself. “Horrid. If we kissed, he’d clog my pores too.”

“And his hair?”

“Hunk, buddy.” Lance drawled. “The guy needed a haircut centuries ago. How could I walk around with someone like that?” 

“His temper.” Hunk said, to which Lance responded with a glare. 

“Annoying. We’d fight worse than we do now. And I don’t even like his personality. Or his stupidly attractive face.”

“Lance?” 

Lance could feel the steady hand on his shoulder, all the teasing going out the window as tears suddenly built up in his eyes. Why was he crying? 

“Lance.” Hunk said softly. “You still like him? Even after-” 

“He beat the shit out of me? Yes. I do.” Lance choked bitterly. “And I really don’t want to. I-I’d like to move on. Find someone that doesn’t think I’m gross?” 

Hunk pulled Lance away from the mirror and used the towel on his arm to wipe away the persistent tears streaking through the teal mask on his face. Maybe pep talks weren’t going to convince himself that he didn’t love Keith anymore. Because he did. Love Keith, that is. He hadn’t stopped, even after the concussion.

“Lance, you’re not gross.” Hunk chided. “Besides, if that hot head can’t see you for who you are, then what’s the point of trying anymore?” 

Lance sniffled with a nod. “Yeah. Of course. I’m hot, right? I can get anyone I want.” 

“Space _is_ infinite.” Hunk encouraged. Thinking about that suddenly made things click into perspective a little. Planets were always in need of assistance left and right. It was almost near impossible to not interact with the inhabitants too! Of course, Nyma had been a fluke, but there was that one guy during their last mission that kept staring at him. And then the mermaids?

“That’s true.” Lance mumbled, feeling stupid and empowered all in one moment. He didn’t know whether to hide his face or grin with confidence. So he settled on an open smile that Hunk met with a relieved grin. “Ladies can’t resist all this.” He said weakly. 

Hunk was kind enough to chuckle as they pulled apart. “Don’t worry about this too much, buddy. We’re in space fighting an army of purple cats with robotic cats. Don’t think it’ll be that hard to get over him.” 

Easier said than done. 

At dinner, Lance makes sure to space himself as far away from the red paladin without it being too obvious. Which usually means he’s situated between Hunk and Allura as they eat. And when they train, Lance keeps the touching to a minimum and practically begs Shiro to switch teams with him. He doesn’t care if Hunk’s blows leave massive bruises that make them all cringe. It’s better than going weak in the knees every time Keith so much as touched him. Well, hit him. 

“Lance.” Shiro sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Hunk was wringing his hands quietly as the brunette struggled to scrape himself off the far wall with a grunt. 

“Wow, man. You ever felt a hit like that before? Seriously, Hunk. You’re a freakin’ _machine_.” 

Lance smiled at his friend who was rubbing at the back of his neck and smiling at the floor with a blush. Such a bashful giant. 

And then Shiro was heading towards him, eyes of determination and hands motioning _up, up._

“Oh, c’mon.” Lance whined. “I didn’t even feel it, Shiro! Let me go another round, this is really helping my skills.” 

“Lance.” Shiro repeated, although much more stern than he had the first time. “Lemme see and then we’ll go from there. It’s not an even match and you’re getting pummeled.” 

He wants to argue some more but metal fingers yank the edge of his shirt up and examine the mottled flesh of purple and yellow. Ones fading with age burst back with a vengeance, riding along his ribcage in a Hunk fist shape. It’s not really any different than when Keith hit him. The damage done, however, is much more noticeable. Deeper. 

“I’m pairing you back up with Keith.” Shiro said immediately. It’d been a long time coming if he were being honest.  Almost a week of this and he really didn’t know how Shiro didn’t switch him sooner. Of course, that doesn’t mean Lance won’t fight it.

Lance huffs out a steady, “No.” 

“Lance-”

“Pair me with Pidge if you want! I don’t care if it’s Hunk, Allura, even you, Shiro! I just don’t want to be paired with Keith.” Lance gestured wildly as Shiro crossed his arms. “You said I could switch!” 

“That was before your body looked like a dropped _banana_ , Lance. You’re not equally matched and it’s showing.”  

“That’s because Hunk is a better fighter than Keith is!” 

“Stop making this hard, Lance.” Keith snapped suddenly. Sweat easily caused the fabric of his shirt to stick to his skin as he wiped a line off his brow and if it weren’t for the violet eyes that bore down on him, Lance would’ve have blushed with excitement. 

“Like you care.” Lance hissed. “All you’ve done these past few weeks is avoid me. Why does it fucking matter if we’re spar mates?”

“Lance.” Shiro chidded, tone scolding as everyone watched the argument catch fire. 

Keith took his signature defensive pose, eyes narrowed and jaw working as he stared Lance down. “Because what Shiro says, goes. And it’s fun kicking your ass without breaking a sweat.” 

“Shiro isn’t a god, Keith.” Lance spat with more acid than he thought possible. And Keith hates it. Hates that Lance takes the Shiro part of the sentence and turns it against him. “He’s human like all of us and if I don’t want to deal with your attitude, then I sure as hell will have something to say about it.” 

“Funny.” Keith said curtly. Shiro put out an arm to steady them both and hopefully stop whatever was coming next. “Didn’t seem like you had a problem with my attitude when you were practically begging to suck my dick.”

Lance throws the first punch. 

Keiths head snaps back and Shiro makes a startled sound that doesn’t stop Lance from lunging at the stunned Paladin and knocking his ass to the _ground_. How dare he! Who did he think he was? Saying something so, so fucking _rude_. Lance wanted something meaningful. A relationship. He wanted to be someone’s _person_. And all Keith had taken from it was some sort of quick fuck? How dense could someone possibly be? How-How fucking judgemental and narrow minded could someone get out in _space_!?

Lance knows he’s on the verge of tears when Keith hits back and manages a cheap shot to his throat. The impact is enough to make it hard for him to breathe and when he curls over with a gag, the other boy knees him between the legs and rolls to reverse their position. 

“Keith!” Someone shouts. 

Lance doesn’t care because he’s got a handful of mullet and he’s clawing at Keith’s arms, drawing thin lines of blood that make the boy growl and hit harder. 

“Fuck you!” Lance screams. “I fucking hate you, Kogane. You happy!” 

Two arms, one metal, one flesh, hook under Keith’s armpits and rip him away from the thrashing Cuban struggling in Hunk’s grasp. And by ripped away, he means _ripped_ away. Like, clumps of hair and skin are jammed beneath Lance’s nails and he’s almost sure Keith has knocked a tooth loose. It doesn’t deter him, though. Not one bit. 

“Fuck you.” Lance chokes with a gasp. “F-Fuck you.”

“Lance breathe. Everyone, let’s just. Calm down.” Hunk says shakily. He’s still got two strong arms held tight around Lance’s middle, like he’s afraid that if he let’s go, the fight will continue. Which is true. Lance isn’t finished in the slightest. 

“That’s quite enough, Keith. Settle down.” Shiro barks. And when did Allura and Coran get here?

The two Alteans stand off to the side, each with a cautious arm out to either keep Pidge back or block the view of her bloody teammates. Allura is watching Shiro like she can project her desperation for a resolution into the elder man and Coran is eyeing Lance like he's helpless. Pidge, though. Pidge looks as murderous as a fifteen year old can manage as she glares at Keith and even narrows her eyes at Lance. 

Shiro looks at them all before letting up on his grip and letting Keith shake free with a glare Lance’s way. 

“Look.” Shiro starts. “It’s safe to say that we’ve been left in the dark about something between you two.” 

“There’s _nothing_ between us.” Keith growls and Shiro glares harder. 

“That doesn’t matter.” He yells. “What matters is that it’s gotten in the way of team dynamics. From here on out, there’s no way we can safely form Voltron or so much as eat in the same room without the possibility of it escalating. Am I right?” Lance and Keith look away. “So if it hasn’t worked itself out by now, then I will work it out myself. This ends. Today.” 

Lance won’t cry. He won’t cry because he’s not weak and Keith will not be the one to witness how much this has hurt him over the past month. It won’t happen. He’d rather die. 

“Lance-” 

Allura is the first to jump up when the alarms sound. Everyone is basked in the ominous pulse of warning lights as the castle shakes and Coran darts towards the door. 

“Another fleet?” Pidge calls out as Hunk hauls Lance to his feet and brushes at his shoulders with concern in his gaze. “That’s the third one this month.” 

“They’re relentless.” Allura ground out. “Paladins, no matter the issue at hand, we can’t have them board the castle.” 

Shiro nods. He looks between Keith and Lance grimly before sighing and leading them in the direction of the hanger. “We’ll talk about this when we get back. And I mean that. Keith? Lance?” 

“Yes, sir.” They mutter in unison before breaking off towards their Lions in a desperation to get away. Like the distance will relieve the sting of their wounds even if it doesn't. 

Once inside, Lance stands silent for a few seconds, eyes unfocused, before slamming his fists against the metal walls because _fuck_. 

_Fuck.FucK.FuCK.FUCK!_

Blue’s gentle purrs do nothing to stop him from screaming against the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...


	4. Things Left Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning for that homophobic language tag. I personally hate cliff hangers so I should have the next chapter up pretty soon. And a thanks for all the positivity! I literally sat in my room and giggled to myself just reading the comments.  
> So um...prepare yourselves?

They can’t form Voltron because Shiro doesn’t trust Lance and Keith enough to cooperate. Which is smart because the two are barely listening to each other as is. But without Voltron, disabling the enemy cannon means two people need to head down to the ship's underbelly and disrupt the energy core. What better bonding opportunity, Shiro probably thought in his stupidly handsome head. 

“Lance. Keith. Hunk and I will cover you while Pidge navigates and defends the castle. You two need to work together and listen to what Pidge says. That’s final.” 

“Shiro.” Keith warns lowly. Lance doesn’t do anything but huff his understanding before he veering off and blasting any stray fighters blocking their entrance. He won’t give Keith his humour. He won’t give him his anger. 

Keith will get professional. 

“Keith, I need you to use your lion and cut out a space for us.” 

“Why?” Keith snaps. “Doesn’t seem like you want help from a guy you hate.” 

Lance frowns. Fine. That’s fine. It’s not like they were in battle or anything.

Keith seems to grow heated the longer he stays quiet but as soon as Lance blasts the outer wall with ice and rears back to kick the weakened metal, Keith falls into line real quick. 

“Pidge, Keith and I are in. Where do we go?” 

Lance shuffled out of his lion with his bayard drawn. One look at Keith made it easy to tell he was conflicted. They were both still battered from the fight and Lance was raised well enough to look guilty when he sees an angry line peeking through the neck of Keith’s undersuit. 

“Alright you two.” Pidge cut in. The communicators crackled a bit but remained strong despite their decent into the ship. “You need to take one left and two rights. I’ve disabled the doors but the last one requires a hand scan. Think you can get me that?” 

“Sure thing, Pigeon.” Lance murmured while he adjusted his posture. He made sure to lock his elbow and situate the flat end of his bayard tight between the crease where arm met torso. Last thing he needed was a bloody nose. 

Keith remained silent as they crept through the ship. Every now and then, the sound of the cannon would accompany a slight jostle that had them both pausing in wait. It was hard to hear possible enemies if the ship was creaking. 

“Listen.” 

Lance took his eye off the scope of his bayard and glanced at Keith warily. The Red Paladin hadn’t moved to give Lance eye contact and continued to slip against the wall and scout every corner. Had he even spoken?

“I didn’t mean to kick you in the balls back there.” 

“That’s what you’re apologizing for?” Lance hissed. 

Keith looked at him then, eyes narrowed as if the words felt odd in his mouth. “I’m just saying, it got out of hand. I didn’t mean to say what I did, okay?”

Lance cocks his head to the side to stretch his neck out and clears his throat. If Keith was apologizing to him then maybe they were finally getting somewhere. 

“Well, I’m sorry too.”

Keith raises a brow.

“For the whole scratching you thing. I really need to cut my nails.” Lance wiggles his gloved fingers and smirks even if it isn’t as genuine as he wants. “And for the record,” He murmurs. “I wasn’t looking for just some quickie in the shower.”

Lance looks away before Keith can see the hurt in his expression. He’s had enough emotional turmoil for one day.

“Lance, I-”

“Guys? You two are coming up on a guard station so nows the time for that hand, Keith.” Pidge cut in.

Lance adjusted his arm again and slowed his pace. “Roger that. Ready, Keith?” 

Said boy wasn’t moving. Lance was sure Pidge had spoken to them both but Keith hadn’t moved from where he was staring at the floor quietly.

“Keith?” 

“I’m on it.” He muttered suddenly, snapping out of it as quickly as he'd been lost. 

Keith heaved himself up over a set of bars and dropped down with a heavy thud. A small group of Galran soldiers whirled, guns raised but too slow to prepare themselves for Keith’s speed. 

The Red Paladin attacked without mercy, dropping soldier after soldier before kicking the last body away and spitting out a bit of blood. “Lance?” He called. The Blue Paladin flipped himself over the bars as well and dropped with a near silent impact. Some of the soldiers were dead, others, unconscious. And Keith was holding the wrist of one of the smaller ones with a frown. 

“That was easy.” Lance said lightly. “Nice job, Mullet.” 

“Okay, guys. Time to hustle. Sentry’s cycle the facility every ten minutes. You need to get to the bridge and work your way down to the main gate before they see the carnage.” Pidge said.

Lance looked around. “Or we could hide the bodies and take our time. Patience yields focus, right, Shiro?” 

“Not the time, Lance.” Shiro cut in. “We’re under some pretty heavy fire. The faster you get out the quicker we can end this.” 

“We’ll get it done.” Keith said before turning on his heel and dragging the Galra with him. Lance had to jog to catch up, eyes scanning each intersection of hallways they got to with his gun. Every now and then they would come across a cycling soldier that would freeze up and fire but Lance was quick enough to down them the second they got too close. Keith said nothing and Lance didn’t expect him to. 

“Pidge, we’re here.” Lance called. 

“Nice. Keith? Scan the soldier's hand and leave him. You guys need to hurry it up.” 

Keith did as he was told and let go of the Galrans wrist as the doors buzzed open. Lance looked down and kneeled to shift the soldier into a more comfortable position. Just cuz, y’know, Voltron wasn’t a heartless monster. 

Keith gave him a look. 

“Guys?” 

Lance jumped up. “We see the core.” He called out. Both Paladins turned to enter the larger room and broke out into a sprint so they could reach the panel faster. “Alright Pidge. What do we do now?” 

Keith was keeping an eye on anything that could be a threat as Lance worked the thick sheet of metal off. An array of purple wires filled the space and...and really? How was he supposed to know which one would shut the core down?

“Pidge? They’re all purple.” 

“I’m working on it.” She said quickly. “Okay. They go by sizes. Do you see the thin looking one to the left?” 

Lance looked. “There are two of them.” He breathed. “There are two, Pidge. Shit, Keith? You got any idea?” 

Keith didn’t look at him and continued to focus on the door. “Fuck if I know. Pidge, which one?” 

“Shit.” Pidge snapped. A rumble shook the entire ship and both Lance and Keith struggled to regain their balance. “Shiro, I need back up. The barrier is down. Lance, Keith. You guys are about three minutes from being found out. Look for the thin wire to the left.” 

Lance flailed. “Pidge, there are _two_! Which one!?” 

“Just pick one!” A chorus of voices called. 

Lance aimed his gun and shot the entire panel. Pidge had done something like that, right? 

The box shorts out. Each wire bursts in a fit of electricity and the core glows a bright purple before stuttering out into a dull black. Movement of the ship stops, the sound of the blazing canon ceases, and both Keith and Lance curse when the alarms go off. 

“Both of you need to get out of there now!” Pidge shouted. And really? She didn’t have to tell them twice. 

Keith yanks Lance to his feet and shoves him in the direction of the door. It will take only two minutes for the entire ship to know where they are and fighting a slew of Galra’s isn’t something they’re skilled enough for. Lance knows this and Keith must too because the second a head of purple becomes visible from the entrance to the bridge, shit hits the fan. 

Keith charges, ducks and dodges each shot fired his way before slicing through the alien sprinting towards them. Lance follows close and tries his best to cover Keith in his reckless haste to fight his way through. 

“Keith!” Lance shouts. “Keith, we need to think of a way out.” 

Lance has to jump out of the way of a hammer shaped object hurtling towards his head. It just barely misses him and he’s so stunned that he’s knocked off his feet and tossed to the ground. 

“F-Fuck.” He gasps. His hands don’t want to work as he gets a grip on his bayard and shoots. Shoots wildly. Shoots blind and hits his target in a messy spray. 

“What’s happening!” Shiro’s voice suddenly crackles through. Keith shows up in his line of sight soon after and he’s quickly manhandled into an upright position. 

“Stop fucking around!” Keith snarls.

And now isn’t the time, Lance. They’re under a lot of stress but Keith is acting like a total ass. _Again_.

Lance slaps the hand away. “I’m not fucking around.” He snaps back. A soldier moves to take a swipe at Keith but Lance fires a single round and stops the attempted assault. “We can’t just fight like mad men. We need a _plan_ , Keith.”

“I have a plan!” Keith counters with just as much aggression. And this time, he slides along Lance’s shoulder and chops down another Sentry pooling in with the rest. They dance around each other, fighting, yelling, and spinning for what seems like forever. Each soldier killed is replaced by another. Robot or Galra. It doesn’t matter. And when it seems like the fight won’t ever end, the numbers slowly begin to dwindle. 

“Shiro, we need help. We’re outnumbered.” Lance panted. 

“We’re fine.” Keith grunted. 

“No we’re _not_!” 

Keith shoved Lance. The sounds of oncoming footsteps were easily detected in the yawning hallways surrounding them. The next wave sounded smaller and further away. Apparently, nothing was water under the bridge. If Keith wanted to finish this right now, then they’ll fucking finish it. Just like Shiro wanted. 

Lance rips his helmet off to face Keith head on; ignores the shouts of his leader as Keith does the same and glares at him. 

“We wouldn’t be in this mess if you had listened to Pidge.” 

“Some help you were.” Lance snapped. “How the hell was I supposed to know which one it was. I’m not the tech genius!” 

Keith shoves him again. “You’re right.” He cheers. “You _aren’t_ the tech genius. Or the leader, or the fighter, or the cook. You can’t teleport the castle, or assist in doing so either. So tell me, Lance. _What is your purpose!?_ ” 

Lance stares at Keith. Debates whether it’d be worth it to shoot him in the knee. 

“What the hell is your problem with me, Keith? Really? I thought we were over this.” Lance spits. “Are you jealous or something? You upset that Shiro might like me more than you?” 

“What?” Keith says quietly.

Lance has got him. He’s got this fucker and he knows it. Thrills at the idea that he finally has the upper hand here. So he pushes. Talks to _hurt_. “That crush you got on Shiro isn’t very subtle, dumbass. Kind of ironic how the thought of me asking you out is disgusting and yet, I’d be willing to bet you’d shake your ass if Shiro so much as looked at you right.” 

“Shut the fuck up.” Keith growled. 

“Seriously, though. What makes you so different from me, huh? I’m disgusting? Please, Keith. I’m better than you. I can have fun, I’m strong even after all this, and Shiro thinks I’m a good. Human. Being.” 

Keith swallows loud enough that Lance can hear it over the voices that ring through the hallway. Check mate, asshole. 

“You wanna know what makes me different?” Keith says quietly. And Lance sees the cruel smirk that spreads across his face, feels the way he grows. Not physically, but in aura. It’s intimidating. It’s dark. Just like the flash of yellow in those violet eyes. “I’m not some desperate queer looking for a lay in the middle of a goddamn war. _I’m_ not some tag along that can’t even do a simple mission like _this_ , fucking _right_.” 

Ha. 

Haha. 

He can’t believe it.

This isn't happening right now. This _is_ happening. And Keith is by far, the _worst_ human being in the fucking galaxy. He hates him. He hates space. He wants to go home and just curl up with his ma and cry about those stupid soap operas instead of real life. And Keith is just staring at him. An unspoken realization settling between them because they’ve both said things. 

But Keith has said _more_.

"I-I didn't-" 

Lance snaps forward; moves to make like he’s gonna hit Keith and hit him _hard_. But Keith is prepared in a way because he flinches and raises his arms in defense...only for Lance’s own arm to wrap around his waist and _pull_.

Keith stumbles. 

Lance makes a sound.

And his bayard fires.

 


	5. Momma's Boy

 

The first thing that Lance wants to do when he gets back to Earth is personally kick each and every movie director in the balls for making it seem like traumatic injuries didn’t hurt. All they do is tell you that you go into shock, or your adrenaline is so high that you don’t even feel the injury. But it’s bullshit. It’s all bullshit. And Keith is the poor soul that bares witness to this truth when Lance’s back arches up off the ground a bit and he sobs because owowowow.

“U-Um.” Lance stutters; pats blindly until he finds the gushing wound making a sloppy ring of blood along his knees and lower back. Keith slips in it, in his haste to get to Lance, and slides a bit with a look of horror as the situation becomes real. 

“Lance.” He breathes out in disbelief. And Keith isn’t doing anything. He’s just sitting there in shocked silence as Lance weakly presses at the hole currently punctured in his thigh. He took a graphic health class freshman year. He knows what’s happening. 

“T-There’s a h-hole, Keith. N-Need p-pressure. N-need h-help.” 

Lance’s head falls back and he struggles to take in enough air through the panic. But Keith is quick. He lurches forward and finally grabs at Lance’s thigh with wide eyes. His hands are warm. “Guys! Guys, I need evac right now and a pod ready. Lance is hit.”

Lance blinks up at Keith and wonders where he got the helmet. Wonders if they defeated the last of the Galran fleet. Wonders if dying was supposed to hurt this bad.

“Lance.” Keith snarled. He smacked the Cuban’s cheek for good measure and watched his pupils dilate. “Eyes open. The others will be here in a few minutes but I need you with me.” 

Lance whimpers. “That’s t-too long, Keith. I th-think he hit the f-femor-” Keith hits him again. He didn’t know when his eyes slipped closed. “I’m dying.” 

“No you’re not.” Keith hisses. 

“I’m going to die.” Lance blurts. And it’s with a panicked whisper that he manages an, “I’m scared, Keith.” And that alone is enough to send Keith’s mind into chaos. He doesn’t know how to tell Lance it’s okay. He’s not even sure if the wound is something you can just, walk away from. And it’s absolutely terrifying that Lance isn’t making light of this like he thought he would.

“Keith?” Lance repeats. “Keith I wanna go home. I don’t want to be here anymore. I just want my mama.”

“I know, Lance” Keith says in return. What else is he supposed to say to his dying teammate? “I-I know.”

“I want my mama.” Lance sobs. “I-I never wanted to be here. Mama, help me. I’m sorry, mama. I’m so sorry.” 

Lance goes uncharacteristically quiet. His nose is dripping and although his eyes are closed, they’re rimmed with fat tears that mingle with the blood spatter along his face. Keith can still see he’s scared. Can see that his breathing isn’t as strong as it had been.

“Shit.” Keith whispered desperately. His hands were soaked in blood and Lance’s skin color had drained dramatically. He looked dead. He might be dead. “Lance?” Keith croaked. “Lance, c’mon. I-I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I never wanted to, to hurt you like-” 

“Keith!?” 

Hunk came stumbling into the room with wide eyes and his bayard resting heavily on his thigh. Keith doesn’t know what to say. He’s filled with a choking fear when he thinks about telling them that this is his fault. That Lance protected him, even after-

“Here.” Hunk said quietly. His hands were larger than Keith’s and when he removed his palms from the hole, it was with grim discovery to see the wound bleeding sluggishly. As if there was nothing left to let go. 

Hunk overlapped the gaping wound and pressed down hard; watched Lance’s eyes roll beneath his lids but otherwise remain closed. They were losing him. 

“Keith, I need you to pick him up.” Hunk says slowly. “I’m gonna keep pressure on the hole but we have to get him out of here. He needs a pod.” 

“Like I don’t fucking know that!” Keith screams back.

And a look of raw rage crosses Hunk’s face. It contorts his usually soft features into something twisted and dark as he glares up at Keith; teeth bared, before snarling a single, “ _Don’t_.” And just like that, it’s gone. “I know you’re scared. I am too. But I need you to push your ego aside for one goddamn minute so I don’t have to lose one of the few pieces of family I have left out here.” 

Keith flinches and feels his pulse jump. 

“Pick him up.” 

Keith doesn’t say anything this time. He drops to his knees and gathers the Blue Paladin in his arms as gently as he can manage, whispers another apology while Hunk keeps a tight grip on his wound. Keith almost loses his hold a few times. The jostling of the slight jog they create means his fingers scramble at the slick armor in a desperation to cling on. 

And by time Pidge lands just a few yards away, both Paladins are breathing heavily and in a panic. 

“Bring him here.” Pidge gasps as they stumble their way into her Lion and set Lance down on the floor. His body doesn’t even hold it’s weight and sort of just, flops when he touches the metal. Pidge snaps at Keith to take over her controls and instructs Hunk to get on the opposite side of the Cuban. 

“Raise his leg and keep up the pressure. Keith, I need us at the castle in three minutes.” 

Keith snaps his helmet in place and taps at the dash. “On it. Shiro, we’re coming with Lance. We need that pod ready.” 

“Everything’s ready to go.” Shiro says tightly. And Keith wastes no time getting the fuck off the exploding ship and falling in line behind Hunk’s, Lance's, and his own Lion. 

They knew when to help when it counted. Especially when one of their own was on the line.

“W-What is that?” Hunk said quietly as Pidge slammed her hands against the ground over, and over, and over. “Pidge-” 

“They’re plantain leaves. I had my Lion make them before we landed.” 

Pidge made sure each leaf was properly mashed before reaching for Lance’s leg and cutting away the skin of his suit. Hunk obediently removed his hands and stared grimly at the laser wound in Lance’s thigh. 

“It’s gonna help stem the bleeding.” Pidge finished quietly as she laid out leaf after leaf in a thick mock bandage. “Put your hands over it again.” 

Hunk nodded and pressed back down on the wound with a gulp. They were a few seconds out from the ship and with a violent roar, Green burst through the hangar and landed with a thud. 

“Get him up.” Pidge snapped. She moved to open the hatch for Hunk and paused when she heard no movement behind her.

“L-Lance?” Hunk whispered. 

“Hunk, I said pick him-”

“No. No, no, no, no. Lance! Lance, c’mon. We made it! You’re gonna be fine. We’re here, Lance. Everything’s okay.” 

Hunk let go of Lance’s thigh and Pidge made a sound as she lunged to apply pressure where it hand been lost. Keith jumped out of his seat and watched Hunk pat at Lance’s still chest with a wild look in his eye. He couldn’t find a pulse. 

How long had it been since he stopped breathing?

There wasn’t a pulse. 

“Shit.” Hunk gasped as he tilted Lance’s face up and grabbed his jaw. He huffed a chestful of air into the Cuban and scrambled back to place his hands, one on top of the other, just off to the side of Lance’s chest. 

Hunk’s a strong guy. 

With only two pumps he breaks three of Lance’s ribs and he hasn't even gotten a reaction.

"Move." Pidge snapped.

Hunk was still staring down at Lance's face, like he was gonna open his eyes and crack some lame joke like everything was good. No air whistles out from between pale lips and Lance is still very much not here anymore. 

"Hunk, _move_." Pidge shoves Hunk's hulking form so hard he ends up sprawled back on his ass. She doesn't wait before she's flicking her wrist, powering up her bayard with a low,  _hummm,_ and letting the tip of the glowing metal connect with Lance's breast bone and lighting him up like a christmas tree. Lance chokes out a scream like gasp and convulses a bit before settling back down into a painful unconscious. They want to cry with relief but Pidge is already yelling at Hunk to grab Lance and _run_. 

“Shiro!” Hunk screams. 

The hallway never felt this long. Each second is a second that Lance can’t spare. Each step is one closer to the one thing that will let him survive this. 

They’re human. They’re not invincible.

The doors slide open moments before he slams into them. He can’t slow himself down fast enough as he trips his way into the infirmary and practically tosses Lance at Shiro who, bless him, catches Lance easily and leaves Hunk to hit the ground with a grunt. 

“Here!” Allura yells. She’s got a pod open and waiting and Coran already has the necessary materials pulled up in an array of holographic screens. “We’ll put him in the med suit later. Get him in, Shiro.”

Shiro eases Lance into the pod and steps back to let the door slide shut at an agonizingly slow pace. It takes a desperate few seconds before a calming haze of sedatives finally put Lance into a blank sleep and the pain from his wound becomes nothing but a numb pressure. 

Coran’s holograms light up. The pod does a full body scan and offers a live feed of his lanky frame. Pulsing red circles hold steady along his thigh and chest and bring up a list of injuries, both life threatening and non for the small group watching. He’s lost over two liters of blood. The pod will take care if it shortly but it’s still terrifying to see just how close Lance had been to death. 

“It’s gonna take three of your Earth days for him to recover.” Coran starts; brave enough to break the silence. “As for the blood loss, the pod will speed up his red blood cell regeneration. As for his ribs, they're like any other bone. A few quintants each and they’ll be good as new.” 

“A Galra did that?” Shiro questioned quietly. It was Hunk who limped over to stand beside him with a teary eyed frown. 

“I-I did it.” He muttered. “We had to use CPR. He stopped breathing when we landed.” 

Hunk wouldn’t look at him when he said this, so Shiro stared; felt his throat tighten when the words hit. “Was he dead?” 

Hunk nods. 

“You,” Shiro sucks in a breath and stares at his hands instead. “You couldn’t find a pulse?” 

Another nod.

“Then his brain.” He blurted; eyes wild with panic as he looked at Coran and pushed off the counter urgently. “Can you see his brain? Can you tell if there was damage? How long, Hunk? Did-was he out long?” 

“We don’t know.” Hunk whispered miserably. 

Shiro bites his lip. “Then look at the feed. Play it back and watch for when he stops breathing. He could’ve lost oxygen to his brain, Hunk. He could’ve-”

“From what I can see, there isn’t any damage.” 

Both Paladins looked up at Coran with wide eyes. He turned the screen their way and rotated the picture of Lance’s brain slowly. There was a bit of visible swelling, but from what they could see, no gray areas. 

“It could be that the incident affects his memory of the past few weeks but, nothing permanent or too damaging. I can promise you he will heal perfectly” 

Shiro let’s out a stunned gasp and has to swivel and hold onto Hunk for support. They nearly lost Lance once but the thought of him actually dying during their rush here is nauseating. He died. Lance died and they almost couldn’t save him. 

It’s at this moment that Allura comes in with Keith and Pidge at her side, blue eyes gentle and determined. 

“Is-”

“He’s fine.” Shiro huffs, interrupting Keith quickly. Pidge shoves past him anyway and practically sticks herself to the pod with a sharp inhale. They won’t move her. Hunk just goes to make sure the younger of them all is alright.

Keith lets his bayard clatter to the floor, doesn’t even notice he’s still holding it, and carefully hides himself against Shiro’s side.

“He died.” Keith whispers. “S-Shiro? Shiro, he died for a while. Are you sure-”

“Coran said he’s not finding much for concern.” Shiro swallowed and glanced at the others. “For now, we need to regroup and talk about the game plan for when Lance wakes up.” 

Keith feels sick. “Shiro, I watched him die. What if he’s not okay when he wakes up? What if he doesn’t remember me, or you, or his life before?”

“Then we’ll deal with it, like we always do.” 

For the first time in a long while, Keith feels like words mean absolutely nothing. Their weight is so temperamental, so heavy when used to hurt and cut at whoever they’re directed at. Here, in this moment, they feel flimsy. Cheap. And Keith hates the way it makes his gut twist. 

“Everything will be ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Working towards that resolution and maybe Keith redemption? Okay, a lot of Keith redemption. I've had a bit of trouble trying to envision how Lance and Keith come back from this, if even at all. There's an eventual happy ending tag for a reason and I very much want to get to the point where they come to some sort of...something. With less fists and cuss words of course, haha. And I'm sure Keith has his reasons. Violent reasons, but reasons nonetheless and I definately want to portray that. Hint: Keith had a very influential childhood.  
> ALSO: been a while since I came back to this fic but check out this lovely art I received for the chapter. It’s beautiful and the artist deserves to have it stared at!  
> http://thacmis.tumblr.com/post/172069634266/im-so-sorry-i-didnt-mean-it-i-never-wanted


	6. Falling Wide Awake

Nothing is really okay when Lance comes stumbling out of the healing pod and into Shiro’s startled arms three days later. The short alert gave the larger man plenty of time to step forward and catch his limp teammate, but it takes him a few seconds before he’s able to gently take them both to the ground. 

Lance has his hands resting lightly against Shiro’s shoulders and Shiro cups at the Cuban’s cheeks and watches his lashes flutter a bit in the harsh light. They’re sitting close enough, Lance resting back on his knees between Shiro’s splayed legs so that he can feel the faint warmth of Lance’s skin. Although it’s not long before he starts shivering in the flimsy med suit.

“Lance?” Shiro prodded quietly. The boy hummed and relaxed in Shiro’s grip, eyes peeking open and focusing in on his face. “Hey, buddy. Can you hear me?” 

Lance nods; shuffles a bit closer and let’s his arms fall to his sides as he tilts his head in the gentle hold. Shiro strokes his thumbs beneath the light bags under Lance’s eyes and thinks briefly that he will have a fit knowing he missed his skin care routine. 

“Lance?” Pidge whispers from her hideout on one of the med tables. Her glasses are askew but her eyes are alert as the two Paladins watch their teammate carefully. She moves as if to hug Lance.

“Hold on there, Pidge. I think he’s still out of it.” Shiro cautioned. Lance made no move to look up at his friend and just continued to blink lazily at Shiro. More in wonder than recognition. “Lance, you know who we are right?” 

Nothing.  

“Lance, you with me?”

Lance blinks, rapidly this time, and scans the ceiling up and down before returning to Shiro’s face once more. And in the most gentle tone that breaks Shiro’s heart, he asks, “Where?” 

“Get Coran.” Shiro barked. 

Pidge took off down the hallway as Shiro gathered Lance up into his arms and carefully set him back down on the now vacant med table. His eyes had opened some, gaze a bit more focused than it had been, but he was still being unusually quiet. Very not like Lance. 

And that in itself raised red flags. 

“Lance, do you know where you are? Can you say my name?” 

Lance frowned and gave a slight nod but didn’t speak. He just continued to watch Shiro watch him. 

“Shit.” He whispered. “You’re okay, Lance. We’ll figure this out, alright? I promise you’ll be okay.”

Which could be a lie. He doesn’t know anything about brain injuries. For all they knew, Lance could’ve been gone longer than they expected leaving him with irreversible brain damage. He looked like he could walk. And he had spoken to Shiro too. But the possible amnesia? 

“He’s awake.” Coran said in slight surprise as the whole team spilled into the room. Lance looked mildly uncomfortable but didn’t seem too concerned with the steadily growing group around him. He just continued to blink in newfound wonder. 

“I don’t think he remembers us or where he is. He’s not speaking much.” 

“Amnesia?” Hunk asked quietly from beside Keith. The Red Paladin flinched and stared at Lance harder. “He doesn’t remember anything?” 

“Now let’s not go making wild assumptions.” Coran huffed. He pulled out a small orb of light and looked at each of Lance’s eyes patiently, giving his pupils time to react despite the weak hands swatting at him in distaste. “I can only assume his body is trying to heal in it’s own time. The pods are temperamental like that. Physical injuries are a given but mental injuries? Now that get’s tricky.”

“So what do we do?” Keith asked from his corner beside Hunk. “Is this something we just wait out? What if we get attacked and he can’t defend himself?”

“Well if there’s one thing we do know, it’s that he cannot pilot the Blue Lion.” Allura said from where she lingered behind Coran. Her blue eyes looked Lance up and down as she spoke. “In his state, it’d be impossible to form Voltron.”

“That should be the _least_ of our concerns, Allura.” Keith snapped. The Princess looked mildly startled by the outburst and forced herself to school her expression when Keith took a step closer to Lance. “Screw fighting.” He huffed. “How are we gonna protect Lance when we’re out there dealing with Zarkon, or Lotor, or whoever it is that’s causing this shit fest?” 

“Keith-”

Keith slams his hand down on the med table and glares at the floor. “ _No!_ We need a game plan. We need someone that knows the brain better than Allura and Coran. Shiro, he could be stuck like this.” 

And it would be all his fault. Because had Keith saved the argument for the safety of the castle, then Lance wouldn’t be like this. He wouldn’t be staring at him with wide blue eyes filled with something akin to concern? Maybe even pity? 

“Let’s just calm down.” Shiro says cooly. He reached out to grab at Keith’s shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze that offered some form of comfort, even if Keith was beating himself up inside. 

How do you even begin to say sorry to someone who doesn’t even know what you’re apologizing for? 

“We should get him some food. See if anything comes back to him?” Hunk shuffled forward and carefully slid his hands up under Lance who made a soft sound in his throat when he was suddenly lifted but easily settled down as the others followed. 

“Um.” Lance whispered slowly. Hunk made sure to flash a gentle smile as they entered the kitchen. 

“We’re gonna get you some food. You got hurt a few days ago and we’re trying to figure out what's going on.” 

Lance nodded and let Hunk settle him in one of the dining chairs before whispering, “Am I in trouble?”

Hunk froze and let his mouth drop open. That was a sentence. A sentence that Lance was very obviously directing at Hunk, who, at the moment, couldn’t think of a response fast enough. 

“Y-You’re not.” Hunk finally stuttered. He sucked in a careful breath and knelt so he could search Lance’s conflicted eyes. “Do you remember the mission, buddy?” 

Lance bites his lip and let’s his shoulders shift up to his ears until he’s sort of, curled forward. “We, uh. We found Shiro and-and-”

A look of frustration flickers in his eyes and Hunk leans forward to capture Lance’s face in his hands; smooshes his cheeks gently to smooth out the emotion. 

“Yeah, buddy. That was awhile ago.” 

“R-Right.” Lance mumbles. 

It's Shiro who takes a knee beside Hunk and has to wave a hand in order for Lance to take notice of his presence. It’s that slow kind of motor function that has them all a bit concerned, but Lance brightens nonetheless and he even offers a smile his leader's way as Shiro tries to quell the sadness in his own expression. 

“Feels like deja vu.” Shiro teases lightly. Hunk gets the joke. They’ve done this before, not that Lance will remember. “Lance? Lance, you’ve been in a healing pod for about three days now. Our last mission went pretty bad.” 

Lance nods, the edges of his smile wilting as Shiro goes on. 

“You took a hit to the thigh and lost a lot of blood. Hunk had to perform CPR when you stopped breathing and Pidge shocked you to get your heart going again” 

Lance looks up at his friends and shifts in discomfort. “O-Okay.That sounds...awesome but I don’t,” Lance rubs the back of his neck and taps at his temple as if the gesture will portray what he's trying to say.  

Shiro studies his motions and plans his next words carefully. “T-That’s what we’re working on. You were out so long that we weren’t sure how much damage your brain took. Coran says the amnesia is temporary but there’s a chance...”

"You won't remember." Coran provides, just as careful.

Lance looks at them all as if they're going to break out into a chorus of laughter and tell him it's all a joke. There's a fear of losing part of your memory, even if there wasn't much to lose. It's an invasive uneasiness that makes him wonder about all the possible things that could have happened that he won't have any recollection of. He won't say it but it freaks him out.

“The events you struggle to remember aren’t of much importance, Lance.” Allura says gently. “If it bothers you, I’m sure we’d all be happy to fill in the blanks.”

“Of course.” Pidge whispers. Hunk nods alongside her and Keith gnaws at his thumbnail with his gaze locked on the floor. 

“It’s fine.” Lance says, his voice stronger than it had been. He pushes away from Hunk and Shiro and looks out at the table quietly. 

“My boy-” 

“It’s fine, Coran. It’s not like I forgot you guys or anything so it doesn’t matter.” 

Shiro stands and looks at the others for help. It’s not like they can force Lance to remember, and he was right. If he had forgotten more, _then_ that would be a problem. But a simple mission? And after all the fighting?

Keith, however. Keith’s just watching Lance with a haunted look in his eye. Like whatever Lance has said has gotten under his skin in a way that no one else will understand. And Shiro notices the way Keith tenses with Lance’s next comment. 

“Besides.” He mutters. “It hurts just trying to think about it. So whatever happened really must’ve messed me up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder why Keith is so heated? That's super weird.  
> I'm really pumped for this guys. Your comments are so meaningful and I'm over the moon that you guys are interested. I know this chapter is a bit slow but I'm steadily working to that point where you don't want to drill your fist into Keith's face as much. If possible, I'll have another chapter up by tonight so we can move along and eventually fix this mess.  
> Thank you for all your support!


	7. Help Me Do What I Can't Say

Lance is confined to the infirmary until further notice. Coran isn’t totally convinced that he’s ready to start up his old routine and just wants to be sure by monitoring his condition a little while longer. The pods did a great job speeding up his blood cell regeneration but it wasn’t like he got an actual blood transfusion. 

End result? Anemia. 

He’ll have to the save the universe from the med bed until he can walk across the room without fainting.

In terms of the whole memory thing? It's manageable the first couple days. Pidge and Coran run a few tests that leave him sleepy and worn out but they show no real problems that could come up in the near future. They tell him his memories will just have to come back by themselves. And if they didn’t? Then there really wasn’t anything to worry about. 

Even if it’s frustrating. 

There are times he’ll get engrossed in a conversation with Shiro, or Coran, or even Hunk, and it’s with an embarrassing realization that he’ll notice their sympathetic stares. Whatever he’s talking about is something they’ve heard before. They’re just too polite to say anything.  

And then there are days where he catches quick glimpses of Keith lingering outside the infirmary, like he’s never truly settled unless he knew the Cuban was safe and sound. It’s a complete 360 from what he’s used to. They don’t really fight anymore either. 

“Keith?” Hunk parrots while Pidge handed him another wrench. The wires sparked and the larger male flinched back with a hiss before reaching for a dirty rag and wiping at his finger. “Uh, what about him?” 

Lance shifts where he’s sitting criss cross, lip caught between his teeth and bedsheet twisting in his hands. “Well. He’s been acting weird. More so than the usual weird, y’know? Like, he won’t leave me alone and he’s being... _nice_.” 

“Isn’t that a good thing?” Pidge asked as she took Hunks spot and began messing with the boxes circuitry. “It’s better then you two fighting all the time.” 

“I get that but,” Lance huffs out an exasperated sigh and tries to find a more efficient way to say this. “Did something happen? Like, before the mission?”

And yeah. They definitely knew something, just like he thought. It’s obvious from the way they both stiffen and look at each other. 

“Lance.” Hunk starts carefully. “Buddy, you-”

“Asked Keith out.” Pidge finished quickly. Both Paladins returned to their busy work with awkward coughs as Lance stared on dumbly. 

So he had asked Keith out. He quickly noted it and tried searching for more.

“Are we dating?” Lance asked carefully. His cheeks took on a pink tinge despite himself as he ran his fingers through his hair and gave a weak laugh. “Did I forget we’re a couple or something? Is that why he’s been so clingy? He’s waiting for me to remember-”

“Oh, Lance.” Hunk choked out as Pidge dropped what she was doing and gave him a sad smile. 

“Lance? Lance, he didn’t-” Pidge rubbed her hands together and bit her lip. “You guys never, became anything. Keith kinda, freaked out on you and it got messy.” 

“There were fights.” Hunk said gently. “You two got into it a few times and Keith kinda gave you a concussion? And then before the mission. He said some things and you hit him.” 

“Like what?”

Pidge glances at Hunk and tries to look confused. “We, uh. We couldn’t really hear over all the screaming,” 

“And after that we don’t know. The mission went south, you died in Pidge’s lion, and when you came back, you couldn’t remember anything that had happened. I think Keith still feels bad about it.” Hunk said sheepishly.  

Lance felt something settle down in his throat. So no one had heard anything? They just assumed that the mission was a fail and Lance was downed cuz of enemy fire?

He should stop before he gets upset but he can’t. 

“Do you guys know what happened on the mission? Like, did Keith say...anything? About it?”

Hunk shook his head and examined Lance in a quiet manner. “Maybe you should talk to him.” Hunk prodded softly. 

It would probably be best. Then again, Lance would have to face the thing of his nightmares for the first time since waking up. 

And catching Keith nowadays was damn near impossible.

“Yeah.” Lance said thoughtfully. “Yeah, I’ll do that. Do you guys mind hanging out later? I’m kinda tired again.”

Lance watches them pack their things up with a stiff smile. They leave with a chorus of sympathetic conformational hums that taper off into rapid whispers and worried comments as soon as the doors slide shut. 

They don’t really have anything to worry about. Lance already knows. 

Privacy ended up being exactly what he had needed to have his little break down a few nights prior. 

Usually Coran would come in and sit with him during the night but for some odd reason, the elder man had never shown up. So when Lance woke with a soft, “ _Oh_ ,” on his lips, no one was there to hear or watch him crumple forward and shake against the mattress with quiet gasps. The confession had been something he was vaguely aware of. That came back on the fourth day of his isolation. However, having to live through the pain of Keith’s words, not the laser wound, _again_ had him glaring at the door in a brewing rage. He wanted to stomp out into the hallway and kick Keith in his stupid teeth because he deserved it. 

But then again, Lance could barely sit up without feeling dizzy. There was no way he was getting to Keith without passing out and cracking his head against something. 

So he had rolled over and curled up beneath the covers as the past events washed over him in waves, some gentle, others rough. And he ended up spending a good portion of that night wondering why he saved Keith in the first place. Even after everything. The confession, the fight, the _other_ fight. What had prompted him to move as quickly as he did to protect the one person he couldn’t stand to be around anymore? Thinking of Keith still made his heart do that little skip it usually did but the clench afterwards was new. Like his body was trying to stop something it new would end in pain. Maybe the adrenaline high made him do it. Maybe...Maybe he just acted on instinct and things went south. 

Or maybe Lance was fine taking the hit for someone he loved.

“You okay there?” 

Lance stirred the goo in his lap a bit more before dropping his spoon and looking up at Shiro. Pidge carried on slurping at her food as she sat curled up against Lance’s foot; glasses slipping just the slightest.

“I need to talk to Keith.” 

Pidge looked up then, mid slurp, before fixing her glasses and using her spoon to jab in the direction of the door. “He’s right out there. Hasn’t moved since you landed your ass in here.” 

Lance blinks and glances down at his lap with a pout. “I knew that.” Thinks about it, then corrects himself. “Sort of. He’s really been sleeping out there?”

“Yeah.” Pidge mutters, finding interest in the cube she and Hunk had been tinkering with earlier. “He looks like absolute shit.”

Shiro swats at the girl and huffs, “Language,” before focusing his attention on Lance. “Why do you need to talk to Keith?”

Lance picks at a loose string in the linens and tries to look innocent. “I just, need to speak with him. About some things.”

“The mission?”

“That’s part of it.” Lance murmurs. “Look, could you please like, force him to come talk to me? Y’know, use those muscles and help me out?”

Shiro preened at the comment, just a bit, but quickly shook himself and glanced at Pidge as if he needed some form of confirmation. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

Lance felt his pulse jump and eagerly shoved his bowl aside. “Y-You will? I mean, thanks, man.” 

“Don’t thank me yet.” Shiro grumbled as he gathered up his and Lance’s bowls. “You two have a lot you need to work out and I think we’re all ready to see you two back to your normal selves.” 

Lance’s chest tightens at the thought. He’s not really sure if he’s ready to speak with Keith or not. He knows, rationally, that the longer he let’s this drone on, the longer he’ll feel bad. And if Keith was willing to camp out for the sake of being near Lance while he was incapacitated, then he was obviously holding some form of guilt as well. 

“You sure you know what you’re doing?” Pidge asked from the shadows of her dark corner. 

Lance stared at the door for a moment before seeking her out in the dim fort with a smile. “Can’t get any worse at this point.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted this chapter to follow yesterday's but time got away from me. That's my bad, I dropped the ball on that one. But I'll definately have the next one up tonight, that I can promise. Lance is alive and kicking! And no, he isn't a confused mess anymore. Seems like he's just playing the confused card for now, wonder why though? Your guys' comments are more than I could've asked for. I've been having so much fun with this, hehe. So I'll try to keep up with the fast updates.


	8. Is This Progress

Shiro says he’ll talk to Keith and get him to see Lance but that was twenty-four hours ago. The soft mumblings beyond the metal doors taper off some time in what the castle deems morning and Shiro comes in to scoop Pidge up with a guilty look. 

“I’ll try again in a little bit.” He whispers before hastily shuffling out of the room and leaving Lance to his own thoughts. 

And what better way to make himself anxious. A gaping room with no social contact and a pouting, emo, dickhead just beyond the walls. 

He needs another angle. A new tactic to get the ball rolling before he goes insane and punches something. Lance searches around himself for a few useless minutes before zeroing in on the near empty glass of water sitting on the side table. That should do. 

He reached out and nudged at the cup until it crashed to the floor in a spray of glass shards. Then, in a very impressive feign of pain, he cried out. 

“S-Shit.” He hissed, shaking the table a bit for a more dramatic rattle effect. 

In return, Lance had to strain himself to hear the heavy thuds echoing outside the door until, like a moth to a flame, they flew open and a very disheveled Keith hurled himself inside with a wild look in his eye. 

“Wow.” Lance blurts upon seeing the other boy. “Pidge was right. You look like hell.” 

Keith doesn’t seem too amused by his insult and takes to looking at the mess he’s made. “What are,” He stops to shake himself. “Are you hurt?”

“Is that a rhetorical question?” 

Once again, Keith doesn’t look amused. The doors have long since closed shut behind Keith and he seems hyper aware of the fact that they’re both in a room. Together. Alone. For the first time since the mission. Last time he saw Lance, the boy had bled out right in front of him. 

“Up here, Mullet. Geez, how long were you gonna keep me waiting?”

Keith blinks out of his daze and stutters out a weak, “What?” 

“To talk.” Lance states. “I wanna talk to you about the fight.” 

Keith pales at that, goes ghostly white and let’s his entire body seize up with tension. He looks ready to bolt but Lance won’t let him. If he does, he’ll haul his ass out of bed and hunt him down without mercy. 

“I-I have to go. Shiro needs me to train-”

“Keith.”

“I’ll have Allura come and clean this up.” Keith says in a rush of word vomit before turning his back on Lance and making a break for it. He’s only inches from scanning his palm against the panel when Lance let’s out a near silent gasp. 

He’s currently got two hands held strong on the side of the bed and his cheeks are already flushed with strain as he tries to keep upright. He meant what he said about hunting Keith down. Even if it takes him days, there’s no way in hell he’s letting this dumbass leave him again. 

“Lance!” Keith startles. He’s beside the other boy in seconds, palms pressed to his lower back and hip to keep him supported so he doesn’t collapse. “You’re not supposed to move, idiot.” 

“Yeah, well.” Lance huffs. Keith settles him back down so he’s upright against the headboard and clinging tightly to the gloved hand in his. “Was gonna catch you.”

Keith doesn’t laugh. He keeps his eyes focused somewhere on the white pillows and not on Lance's face. “We shouldn’t talk.” He whispers.

“But _why?_ ” Lance whispers back.

Keith bites his lip and ducks his head lower. “Because every time we talk, you end up getting hurt. _I_ end up hurting you.”

Lance swallows despite the dryness of his mouth and tries to get Keith to look at him. From the feel of his hand, he’s shaking. With fear? Anger? Sadness? He doesn’t know. But he’s shaking. 

“I remember.” 

“I didn’t want you to.” Keith says quietly. “It was selfish but...I wanted you to forget. So that maybe I could spend the rest of my time...protecting you.” 

Lance frowns. “From yourself?”

“From everything.” 

Keith shifts his hand but doesn’t let go of Lance’s. He almost seems scared that Lance will rip his fingers away, which he should. Has every right to do so, but doesn’t. Instead, Lance leans close and nudges Keith. 

“Are you okay?”

Keith finally raises his head. He’s got this weird look on his face, a cross of horror and disbelief as his mouth snaps open and closed a few times. “Y-You-” He stutters. “You’re asking me if _I’m_ okay? Lance, you fucking _died_. You’re bed ridden until we can get your iron count up and you’re worried about _me_?” 

Lance shrugs. “Yeah. I mean, you did, technically, watch me die. That can’t be easy on anyone.” He tilts his head a bit to get a better read on his teammate. “Are you okay?” 

“No!” Keith snaps. Lance meets him head on and leans back a bit to brace himself. “No, Lance. I’m not okay. You shouldn’t be talking to me. You shouldn’t even be  _nice_ to me, I-” Keith stares down at their hands again and shakes himself free. 

Lance won’t say it but he grieves the loss of warmth. “So, what? You want me to hit you or something?” 

“That’d be better than this weird fucking conversation!” Keith shrieks. 

“You want me to hit you.” Lance says with a hint of frustration. “Is that what’s gonna make you feel better? Because I don’t know about you, Keith, but I’m sick and tired of throwing punches and insults instead of talking. Why can’t you just _talk to me?_ ” 

“Because the last time we talked, you ended up screaming for your _mother_ to _save you_. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to see you cry anymore.” 

Keith effectively crams himself into the same corner Pidge had been sleeping in hours prior. He doesn’t seem capable of raising his head and just sort of, compacts himself into a shaky mess all on his own. It’s weird, really. Consoling his attacker.

“You don’t wanna talk? Fine, just listen.” Lance breathes. “I don’t know what’s going on with you but when someone confesses to you and you don’t reciprocate, it should only lead to few awkward encounters until things go back to normal.”

Keith turns his face away and bites at his thumbnail hastily. 

“You coming at me for speaking to Shiro and giving me a concussion is where a line needed to be drawn. There was no reason for it to escalate like that.” 

“I didn’t-” Keith argues weakly, but Lance isn’t finished. 

He points a finger at the other boy with a glare and would jab him in the chest if he were close enough. “You didn’t want to speak, Kogane. So shut up.” 

Keith shrinks back again and watches Lance with wide eyes. “A line needed to be drawn, and maybe my love for you is what blinded me from seeing that. But I’m forgiving. I let you have your time to get over this, crisis thing, or whatever and guess what? It didn’t work. You came looking for blood and I was happy to beat the shit out of you.” 

Lance takes in a measure breath and stares at Keith with a frown. “I wasn’t looking to fuck and run, Keith. You realize that you actually meant something to me, right?” 

“Yes.” Keith whispers. He’s looking away again, sitting tense against the wall with a tragic expression. 

“I don’t care about what you said on the mission.”

Keith flinches. He looks up at Lance and stares at him like he’s waiting for that punch he wanted. On guard, is the description he’s looking for.

“That shit you spewed back on the ship doesn’t matter, okay? Nothing you could say will make me feel like less of a sharpshooter or even a teammate. I _died_ for you, Mullet. At this point, I’m the coolest out of all of us.” 

Lance get’s a response at that. Keith’s shoulders shake a bit and it could definitely be a laugh. Maybe even a chuckle.

“You were a grade A dick, Keith. I don’t know if it’s because me being Bi bothers you or whatever, but nothing excuses your behaviour, it just doesn’t. So we need to have a come to Jesus meeting. What are we going to do?”

When Keith stays silent, Lance kicks him with his foot. “Talk, Kogane. What’s it gonna be? You need me to just, never speak to you again? Do I need to tell you that I was lying? That I never liked you in the first place?” 

“No.”

“Do you want me to say that I hate you some more? 

“No.”

“Find some alien to bang so you can feel at ease when I accidentally touch you?”

“ _No!_ ” Keith snaps, violet eyes clashing with blue as Lance’s frown deepens 

“Then what, Keith!” Lance screams. “What are we going to do to fix this mess because there is no way in hell I’m doing round two of this. I just won’t. So you need to tell me what the fuck I need to do so you can stop-stop  _hating me_.” 

Keith throws his face in his hands and groans. “I don’t hate you, Lance.” 

“Well, gee!” Lance spits. “You sure coulda fooled me. Never woulda thought that with you slamming me into wall, Keith. That’s my bad, I must’ve missed that.” 

Lance waits for a response that never comes. Keith just goes back to staring off at nothing and chewing at a nail that’s probably too short to worry anymore. He’s tiptoeing around the conversation. He’s not giving Lance what he _wants_.

“Say something.” 

Keith doesn’t.

“Mullet, I swear,” Lance whispers. And when he feels a flush creep up his neck, he can’t help but scream, “ _Fucking talk, Keith!_ ”

“You don’t need a sob story, Lance!” Keith snarls. He gets up in Lance’s face and makes him take the brunt of his words as they snap together. It’s a miracle nobody has rushed in to split them apart, but he guessed that there was no avoiding this anymore. They needed to hash this out until both of them were bone tired and worn as thin as they could go. 

Lance crosses his arms and leans forward until their foreheads almost touch. “I _deserve_ a fucking explanation, Keith. Nobody acts like this without a reason. I want one. _Now_. And then I want a damn good apology. In that order.”

Keith won’t do it. His eyes are flickering along Lance’s face rapidly, unsteady in their search to find something Lance has no knowledge of. But what Lance does know, is that Keith won’t speak to him. Will probably shove him away and storm out of the room on a rampage and train until he passes out. And when Shiro asks how it goes, Lance will tell him that Voltron is doomed and they’re gonna have to replace one of them eventually. Because at this point, being together was fatal. 

Lance is startled out of his train of disappointment when Keith let’s out a short breath that tickles his lashes. 

“Fine.” Keith says, giving up the will to fight anymore. He sits back and throws up a leg before looking away from Lance’s intense gaze and grinding his teeth together. “When I was younger...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lance is such a clever boy. I've made him such a brick wall, I swear. I felt like he'd have such control over his emotions that he'd be able to act civil, even if his anger get's the best of him at times. And I think Keith's the kind of guy to fight his way through issues, so having Lance put his ass in place scares him a bit. I don't think Lance is searching for an apology as much as he's looking for an explanation. I think Keith's left him really confused and some of you have already noticed that. haha. Like, why can't Keith leave Lance alone? And I love that Lance takes after his Mama in the way he sits and asks Keith if he's okay. So, yeah. Hope you all enjoyed seeing them talk without hitting each other.


	9. Role Models

Keith remembers his foster parents, not the orphanage. 

Leaving had been so incredibly easy. Eight years worth of staring at the same white walls with the same small picture of him and some friends was nothing compared to the idea of new parents. A new life; a _better_ life, even. Why would he think to hesitate?

He was sick of being moved from room to room, being told the other kids just wanted a new change of environment when in reality, they were scared of him. Scared of the way he had grabbed one of the girl's by the arm and shoved her after trying to take his shoes. Because Keith wasn't about juvanile games and stuck up brats that didn't know not to test him even if he wrote it on his goddamn forehead. And he learned quickly that being teased meant you got attention. Being a freak meant you were ignored. 

So the day a sharp looking woman deep in her forties pointed him out amongst the crowd of children was the day he didn’t think twice before packing up his few belongings and shoving his way downstairs. 

“Someone wants Keith.” A young girl whispered while he sank back into the hood of his jacket and approached his new guardian. She had taken a manicured hand and gripped at his wrist with a smile too sweet to be genuine. But it's hard to judge someone who just shortened your life sentence. 

Her name is Marsha Dune. It’s probably the blandest name he’s ever been told but he’s supposed to be nice now and make her like him. If she doesn’t, she can send him back. Like some fucking stray cat. So he gives what he thinks is a smile even though it feels like a grimace and says he’s Keith. She doesn’t want him using his old last name so he doesn’t. 

“You’ll like Ron. He’s a bit of a stick in the mud but he’ll warm up to ya. You’ll like him.” 

Keith doesn’t. 

Ron is an even older gentleman with a slight limp and a desperate thirst for brandy. He’s nursing one the minute they step through the ranch style house and immediately asks Keith to grab his pack of smokes.

“Right there, boy. Always on the ottoman. You remember that now. My leg ain’t what it used to be.” 

Keith hands off the cigarettes and looks to Marsha like an obedient pup. She motions to him, _come, come_ , and turns towards the stairs before eagerly showing him his new room, just down the hall from theirs. He’s got his own bathroom, a desk and chair so he can do homework,

“And a T.V so you can play whatever the kids play these days.” Marsha looks at Keith and Keith says his thanks because for the first time in a long while, his bed isn’t a foot off the ground. “You wash up now. I’ll fix up supper and we can talk a bit more, okay?” 

“Thank you, ma’am.” 

Keith never calls them mom or dad. He has a _real_ mom and a _real_ dad that just didn’t know how to handle him at the time. And maybe he has hope that they’ll come back. Maybe this setup is only temporary, just like the orphanage. 

But Marsha has a desk job and drops Keith off at school everyday because Ron is too hungover to even say good morning. She rants the entire way about how the old man better feel good enough for church because, oh. Right. They do church. They do church a lot. 

Keith is told they’re a strongly Catholic family and God is what brought him to them. It’s the kind of thing that makes him nod his head to be respectful but mull over it while he takes his shower in the evening. They pray day and night. Church is mandatory. And the day Ron finally peels himself out of his reclining chair and drives Keith to school is the unfortunate day they see two young boys holding hands. 

Keith acknowledges the two as if they were nothing but normal students. He’s sat with them at lunch a few times. Will probably sit with them again. But Ron. Ron slams on his brakes and has the window rolled down faster than Keith can catch his breath. 

“Ey!” Ron calls. “The hell you think you’re doing!” 

One of the boys ripped his hand away and flushed a bright red. As red as the brick foundation before grabbing his friend and hurrying inside. Everyone around had taken to hushed murmures and Keith muttered his thanks before hurrying out of the car and into the school as fast as he could manage. 

Apparently boys liking other boys is wrong. Ron and Marsha say so, so he has to nod his head and think about it in the shower again. And it’s not that Keith thinks that too, no. There had been plenty of times a new boy came to the orphanage and merely said hello, just one word that was enough to make Keith _flush_ and kick at the ground bashefully. And so what if all his crushes hadn’t been girls since he turned ten? If people didn’t know then nothing was wrong with him. 

He was nothing but normal.

“Them kids ain’t normal.” Ron grunted as he stirred his mug of “coffee”. Marsha was there, nodding alongside him and reciting a bible verse about sinning and such. Keith listened and nodded along because he’s seen Ron mad and the last thing he needs is him finding out about his... _sins_. 

“I don’t want you hanging around those gays, okay, Keith? It’s not right. They’re too young, too confused. They’ll make an impression.” 

Keith finishes his milk and leaves before Ron sees the way he flinches every time the china clinks. He starts avoiding the two boys at school because Ron has a mental breakdown anytime they so much as breathe near Keith. They preach about how a man being with a woman should be the only way in this world, not this, this toxic same sex garbage. It’s garbage. 

“That’s all it is, Keith. You see me and my darlin’? You don’t get that with what these people are doin’. Ain’t nothin but garbage.” Ron slurs. He’s started drinking more and working less. And the orphanage has long since stopped sending social workers to see how Keith is adjusting. He’s fifteen now. 

Fifteen and deathly afraid of liking boys. 

And high school is too diverse. He’s surrounded by more and more people who are comfortable in their own skin and going against everything his foster parents have spewed since he came to live with them. Keith isn’t sure if he feels the same disgust as Ron, or if the fear of being found out has made his body raise its defenses. 

And it’s only when he’s curious enough, scratch that, _brave_ enough to look up certain things that everything goes to hell. It’s not even that bad. He’s always wondered why he has no real desire to seek out girlfriends. Lord know there has been plenty of interest on the other side, but Keith is drawn to...others. 

He watches happy couples wander the school hand in hand, the same two boys he went to middle school with, and feels a distant yearning. Knows that deep down, that’s something he can’t avoid for the rest of his life. So he searches. Asks questions and ponders what it’d be like to actually try something with-

But he can’t. Not of his own accord, but because Ron is a snoopy bastard that doesn’t know when to put the bottle down. 

He rages. Throws shit at his computer and screams till his cords are shot because he won’t have this in his house. He won’t have a son influenced by sin thinking it’s okay to fuck boys and shit like that. It’s disgusting. Repeat after him. 

“It’s disgusting.” Keith quivers, staring at Ron with wide eyes and wondering if he’s gonna get hit. Which he doesn’t. He’s only marked by the bruising grip on his upper arms.

And in the end, Marsha takes the trashed computer and tells Keith that it’s best he go to bed. Pray, then go to bed. And pray hard and good because God knows what you did and you want his forgiveness. 

And Keith shakes, and shakes, and shakes each night until he’s packing his suitcases once again and leaving for the Garrison without a word to his foster parents. They don’t care much. No letters come, no desperate phone calls to come home. And Keith finally feels the weight lifted off his shoulders when he walks through the Garrison doors and meets Shiro.

Shiro, who is like the older brother he always wanted. Shiro, who is nice, funny, and _humble_. Shiro, who, for the first time, makes Keith blush and want to try harder. 

It’s a feeling he’ll never forget. 

A feeling quickly followed by _disgust_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith had a pretty shitty childhood. I can't imagine what it's like feeling unsafe or being told that how you feel is considered wrong. And I know religion can be a beautiful thing, but I also know it can be used as a reason to hurt people that don't deserve it. Keith's already withdrawn to begin with so telling him he's wrong for being himself is only gonna make him withdaw even more. Duh. And I think him having to come to terms with his sexuality and not being able to express that has made him feel like a cornered animal. These two made him feel like he had to be something he wasn't because it was something they viewed as 'disgusting' and I wanted to justify him, if only a little. Even if his actions are in no way acceptable, they aren't without cause.  
> ~Lance is probably in the corner just like, okay but where's my apology, dude?


	10. We'll Rest Easy

Lance stares at Keith and ponders the last time he was rendered speechless. He’s not sure how to take it all in. He’s not even sure if he’s supposed to like, hug Keith or something. Not that it matters though. Keith starts talking before he can do much.

“What I’ve done to you,” Keith whispers. “Is, unforgivable. I let what other people told me influence my feelings, and in the end, you were the one who got hurt. Someone, who was innocent, and forgiving, and so completely _stupid_ for protecting me. I hurt you. I’m the reason you’re in here.”

Keith doesn’t look to Lance like he’s waiting for some sugar coated words of comfort. And Lance won’t tell him that it’s okay because it isn’t. He won’t tell Keith that he couldn’t help it because he could’ve. They both know that. 

“I know it’s stupid, Lance. I _know_ that. But you have to understand. I grew up in a house of hate. I practically had to jack off to some female model on a magazine for my foster parents to feel at ease.” 

Lance raises a brow and blinks. “You jacked off in front of your foster parent-”

“What?” Keith shouts. “No, I-” He shakes himself of his surprise and, in a gentler tone, says, “But that’s what it was like. And I just, I don’t know what came over me, I don’t. All the sudden you were saying you liked me and I could only hear the things I was told when I was a kid.”

“That it’s disgusting.” 

Keith shifts and let’s out a weak laugh. “Yeah, I’ve heard that word a lot. And I felt bad. It felt wrong turning you down, Lance. But then again, I was scared. I was so fucking terrified of admitting-”

“That you’re gayer than a bag of dicks.” Lance whispers. And he looks so genuinely surprised that Keith can’t help the way his lips twitch up in a small smile. “Wow, Keith. I always thought-”

“That I was straight? Yeah, me too. At least, that’s what I wanted to think.” Keith mutters.

“But you’re not?” 

Keith shakes his head as if to clear it before blushing. “Lance, I just told you I’ve crushed on boys since I was ten.” He says; flustered. “So yeah, pretty sure I’m into guys.” 

Lance chews at his lower lip and thinks long and hard about something before nodding his head and rolling his hand. “Alright, Mullet. Keep going. I want it all. Go on.” 

Keith shoots him a look but settles down anyway. “I didn’t understand how you managed to get as close to Shiro as you did. When I saw the feed of you and Shiro talking that night, it pissed me off. I hated the thought of you finding comfort in _him_. So when you made that joke?”

"It was a pretty bad joke." Lance offers but Keith won't have it. 

“It was still wrong. I should have never let it get to that point and I’m sorry.”

Lance is grateful for the apology, he really is. And he tells Keith this with a gentle, "Thank you." 

Keith nods in return before taking in another breath and scrunching his face up like he’s in pain. “And I’m sorry for what I said in the training room. That was...fucked up.” 

“ _Really_ fucked up.” Lance says in bewilderment. “I mean, did you really think I just wanted to suck you off and walk away?”

"No?" Because Keith isn't really sure what he made of Lance's confession. "I think. I think I just wanted to embarrass you a bit. I was just pissed.” 

Lance watches Keith narrows his eyes and think for a moment before letting out a groan. “And that’s really starting to sound like a shitty excuse.”

“Probably because it is.”

“And I have nothing better. Lance, I was mad at myself. For saying the things I did and making you feel inferior. I hated how Shiro came in to protect you when that was supposed to be _my_ job. But I failed at that too. I lashed out and it got you,” Keith’s voice cracks and he turns away to hide the burning behind his eyes. “I got you killed, Lance.” He whispers. “H-How do I even _begin_ to say sorry for that?” 

“Keith.” Lance sighs.

“How do I make it up to you? I could have made the last conversation between us me saying-” Keith sucks in a sharp breath and runs a hand through his hair. “And you would’ve died thinking I wanted you to die, and I don’t even know how I’m supposed to even tell you that I would have missed you, _so fucking much_ , Lance. I-”

“Keith.” Lance repeats, louder this time and with his arms out. “Keith, c’mere.” 

“I’m sorry.” He blurts. Although he doesn’t hesitate to crash against Lance and just lean against him. “You can hate me, Lance. You can tell me to go die in a hole somewhere and I would understand.” 

“What good would that do?” Lance murmured against his mullet. It was just as horrid up close as it was from afar. 

And Keith is too scared to wrap his arms around Lance so he settles for hiding his face against his shoulder. “If you wanted it, I’d do it. I’d do anything at this point to make you happy.” 

Lance nudges Keith with his arm. “It’s not like I’m sad, Keith.” 

Which was true. Sure it sucked being rejected and then having that person beat the crap out of you emotionally and physically. But it wasn’t like he was ready to get sucked out of an airlock because of it. 

“I told my mama I hated her when I was younger. Stupid things you say when you’re mad, y’know?” 

Keith doesn’t say anything but he’s so close, Lance can feel the thrum of his heart beneath his fingers. 

“I know people say things in the heat of the moment. I’ve done it. You’ve done it... _a lot_. And I also know that sometimes, even though we say things, we don’t always mean them. I sure as hell didn’t when I said I hated my mom, and I’m gonna hope that you didn’t mean what you’ve said to me either. I gotta believe that shit just happens sometimes, y’know? And Keith?”

Lance leans back so he can see where the other boy is peeking up at him. “A lot of shit has happened between us, yeah?” 

Keith nods, sniffles like the baby he is and shifts closer.

“I want to forgive you.” 

Keith shakes his head. “You shouldn’t.” 

And Lance chirps out, “Too bad. I’m gonna figure out how to do it. I’m trying as we speak. Right now, watch.”  

Keith peels himself from Lance’s front and stares at the sheets. “I don’t deserve it.” 

“You don’t.” Lance admits carefully. “But if I held a grudge against everyone that’s wronged me, I’d be a very lonely person.” 

Keith has to ask himself how he managed to preserve Lance's friendship, if even at all. And he wonders if he’s ruined it for them. Wonders if Lance took a harder hit to the head than they thought and that’s why he’s not currently stabbing him in the chest. Wonders, distantly, if Lance will ever look at him the way he used to. 

“Are we okay?” Keith whispered. 

Lance reached out and took a gloved hand in his because he wanted the warmth back. Then, with a sigh, he murmured a quiet, “No.”

Keith blinks and feels his brain restart with a ringing in his ears. 

And Lance just stares at him with a dark look before jerking his head in the direction of the door. “Now get the fuck out, Kogane.” He spits.

Keith flinches; lets his teeth click together, but not before a whine escapes his pale lips. He looks rightfully scolded, absolutely hurt by the words and can’t seem to help the insistent burning behind his eyes this time. 

He figures this is the last time Lance will speak to him. That Lance will probably tell the team everything and laugh at his misery because he deserves it, deserves every bit of it. 

And Lance _does_ laugh. Except it’s more of a snort as he blurts out, “That was mean. I’m sorry, that was _so_ mean.” He reaches to grab at Keith’s other hand and watches the tension leave the other boy with a pout already twisting his lips. “I just wanted to hurt your feelings a bit. Really needed it out of my system. I won’t do it again, alright? Okay, I might do it again but-” 

“S-Shut up, Lance.” Keith snaps, although there’s not really a bite to it. And after he wipes at his eyes and nose, he glances up at Lance with a weak smile. “Guess I deserved that much.” 

Lance let’s out a soft, “Yeah,” and offers him a gentle look. “But I think we’ll learn to be okay again. Just give me time, alright?” 

Because Lance isn’t sure how he feels about Keith anymore. He knows he feels like he understands the mullet a bit better. Knows that things will probably get easier between them. 

Knows that, if he tries hard enough, Keith _could_ make his heart do that little skip again.

But this boy was gonna have a lot of work to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update was a little late today so apologies! Is Keith getting off too easy? I definately don't want Lance just letting Keith off the hook like nothing ever happened but I think we'll see Keith's struggle come into play when he tries to show Lance how much he cares for him. Someone even mentioned jealous Keith and of course, who doesn't love that, so I think that will make it into this story. I can also see Lance being totally fine if he and Keith never become romantically involved and Keith realizing this would just kick his ass into high gear cuz he's like, shit, I gotta win him over and fast. Just a thought. But I have hope that Keith can pull out the big guns and fix this poor baby's heart.


	11. Making Allies

Pidge, the tiny genius, is the one who finally works out a way to create small iron supplements that get Lance up and running again. The effects, although not perfect, finally do away with the nagging headaches and constant fatigue as if he never had them in the first place

It’s great. He feels good. So good, in fact, that he tests the strength of his legs and hastily (more like ungracefully) hobbles down the hallway and back into his own quarters before anyone can tell him otherwise. 

And Keith watches him go with an odd feeling in his veins. Like his body is off-kilter and he can’t seem to get his bearings like he used to. He knows it has to do with the fact that Lance doesn’t hate him. And he should feel happy about that but it just makes him feel...

 _Worse_. 

Sure, he knew having Lance beat the shit out of him wasn’t going to solve anything, but at least then he would feel like they were even in a way. At least then he wouldn't feel as guilty as he did now.

But a face mask and shower is all Lance really needs to be back to his normal, bubbly, self. He sits himself between Pidge and Coran and chats wildly about the new scar he found in the shower. Says it’s like some cool splotch of pale skin that mimics the craters you see in the moon. Keith hates the fact that Lance’s skin was marred because of a Galra, but he finds, quite suddenly, that he has to resist the desire to hunt for the scar and trace his fingers along the delicate flesh in victory.

And it’s things like _that_. Things that he’s always thought in the confines of his mind that burst forth and nearly drive him on impulse unless he’s quick to catch himself. He’s always _wanted_ to touch Lance. And now that the air between them wasn’t so foggy, it was like that barrier of fear played no part in his actions anymore. 

Except he can’t. He can’t touch him.

Because even if, and this is all hypothetical, he had never said the things he did to Lance, he still wouldn’t be able to touch him. Not because it would be weird, but because he realizes that Lance is kind of _afraid_ of him. 

He comes to this consensus between a bite of food goo and a response to one of Shiro’s questions at the table. Lance is afraid of him, or at least, creating a distance between them where there hadn’t once been. And that’s fine. Keith can get why Lance wouldn’t be all smiles and flirtatious winks after their heart to heart, but it still stings. 

So he gives Shiro a weird look and stares down at his bowl in sudden distaste. If Lance was scared of him, then how was he supposed to get him to not be scared of him? 

“So how have those,” Allura waves her hand suddenly before Pidge provides the word, supplements, helpfully. “Yes, those supplements. How have they been working, Lance?” 

Lance chews in a haste to give a reply and damn near chokes if it weren't for the helpful pat Coran gives him. “Great!” He manages. “I didn’t think they’d actually work but they do. Can walk around without passing out now.” 

Coran twirls his mustache with pride and flashes Pidge a smirk.  

“Well,” Shiro starts. “We’re all glad to have you back, Lance. God knows it was weird having you gone for so long.” Shiro looks up with a thoughtful expression and gives a small smile. “Maybe we could celebrate?”

Lance visibly brightens at the idea. “Really? I mean, we’ve been slacking for a while now. A party seems kinda,”

“Worth it since you _died_? Yeah, a party seems mandatory.” Hunk says. 

And Shiro has no oppositions. If anything, he just looks to Allura with a pleading gaze until the Princess frowns and rolls her hand about.

“Oh alright.” She grumbles. “I guess one more day can’t hurt. Although, we may have to plan in advance, if you’re okay with waiting a bit longer.” 

“That’s fine!” Lance shouts. “That’s more than fine. Are we really having a party?” 

Shiro shrugs. “Maybe. Hunk can even make pizza. Or something close to it at least.” 

“Yeah.” Pidge snorts. “Good luck finding pineapple and ham in space.” 

Shiro scrunches his nose and Pidge laughs harder when Lance makes gagging noises into his hand. From the looks of it, Hunk’s about to say what Keith is already thinking. But he’s not just thinking it anymore, he’s saying it. 

“Lance can’t eat pineapple.” 

And all laughing stops with his little addition to the conversation. Eveyone's just, looking at him like he appeared out of nowhere. 

“Lance can’t eat pineapple.” He repeats. “Remember?” 

Pidge just stares a bit before looking at Lance like Keith might be lying. “Uh, n-not really?” 

Keith shrugs and stabs at his goo a bit more. “He’s allergic. If he eats it, his tongue swells up or something.” And when Pidge continues to stare, he feels a blush creep along his neck. “Nevermind. Shut up.” 

Keith doesn't want to look at Lance so he settles for staring at Shiro’s arm. He’d rather everyone ignore him for the rest of dinner but Lance won’t let it happen. 

“You remember that?” He squeaks. “Geez, that was forever ago. And yeah, Pidge. Nice job trying to get me killed. _Again_.” 

“Only you would have some weird food allergy!” She shrieks back. 

And just like that, the room bursts back into it’s lively conversation until Allura is telling them to clean up for training. Keith’s eager, in an odd way, to spar because this will be the first time he’s gotten up close and personal with Lance since their conversation. He still not sure how he's supposed to do this whole, show Lance he cares, thing, but he hopes that sparring will maybe start up conversation. 

Even though it doesn't. Because Shiro’s the one who steps up to the mat. And even though Keith's taken by surprise, a metal arm flying at his face is usually enough to get him back in fighting mode and concentrating on the task at hand. Because apparently, Keith wasn’t going to be paired with Lance like he first thought. Apparently, Shiro thought it’d be better if Lance took it easy and got some sparing time in with Pidge. And although the Cuban was taller than their youngest teammate, they both weighed about the same and got on pretty well in a match.

But it still doesn’t take away from the fact that Keith is losing and it’s all because he’s too focused on _Lance_. The boy watches off to the side as Shiro plants a foot beside Keith’s own and turns it just right to trip him in his attempt to get away. So he ends up stumbling with a frustrated grunt and whirls to counter the next fist coming towards his chest.

Shiro’s merciless. He’s either showing off for Allura, or he’s got some unresolved anger about the whole, Keith nearly got Lance killed, thing. It could be the latter, because he hooks an arm around Keiths gut and heaves him up before slamming him down right at Lance’s feet. 

“End match.” Shiro barks. 

Hunk applauds somewhere in the background while Keith continues to gasp pitifully beneath Lance’s very amused face. 

“Cat got your tongue, Mullet?” Lance teases.

And Keith rolls to get more air into his lungs so he can glare back at the boy. “I’d like to see _you_ take Shiro.” He pants. 

Lance just rolls his eyes and steps over Keith before sauntering to the center of the mat across from Pidge. “I _would,_ but a certain _someone_ would get jealous.” 

Bring on the sex jokes. Okay, that’s him blushing. Not that he’s flustered or anything. But no matter how embarrassing Lance can be, he’s just glad the other boy is comfortable enough to tease him. 

“What’s that about me taking Lance?”

Keith turns a startling red and shoves Shiro in the chest; hard enough that the older man spills his water pouch. “ _Nobody_ is taking Lance!” He snarls. 

Lance’s cackling in the background cuts off with a heavy thud as Pidge nails him in the back with a pretty violent blow to the spine. He ends up with his legs sprawled and arms out in front of him as a muffled groan emits from beneath his head. Keith has to stop himself from running to his side. 

“Sorry.” Pidge calls. “I took Lance.” 

 

***

 

Training is called to an end after they watch Hunk and Shiro go at it for thirty dobashes. Allura has to put a stop to it before Shiro damages his arm and Lance has to step in to calm Hunk who sometimes slipped into a battle mindset that was hard to break. That usually involved Lance grasping at his friends face and murmuring to him in a voice so soft, no one could really hear what was being said. 

But Hunk was quick to snap out of it, like always, and would blush and thank Lance with a hug. 

So what did this all mean?

_Hunk was the key._

Keith must be crazy at this point. It’s stupid of him to obsess over this like some psychotic ex-girlfriend or something. But he couldn’t stand the thought of Lance distancing himself even more. He just couldn’t. So he does the only thing he can think of. 

He grows a pair and knocks.

Hunk opened the door with a smile that quickly morphed into a dark frown. He was obviously pissed at something. That something being Keith. 

“If I were you,” Hunk grumbled, “I would leave. Right now.” 

Keith dropped his arm from where he’d used it to tap at the door and rocked back on his heels a bit. “What? I-I mean, no. I’d like to talk to you.” 

“And I’d like to punch you in the face,  but Lance said I couldn’t so it looks like we both aren’t getting what we want.” 

Hunk moves as if to close the doors but Keith jams a foot in the sensor. “This _is_ about Lance.” He blurts. And bringing Lance up would always be enough to pique Hunk’s interest. So mentioning said boy is all it takes for Hunk to let out a pained sigh and step aside.

“You’ve got five minutes. Five minutes, and then I’m ignoring what Lance said and doing what needs to be done.” 

Keith raises a brow. “Punching me in the face?” 

“Four minutes, Keith.” Hunk growls. 

Keith raises his hands in defense and looks around to find a place to sit. When he comes up empty, he chooses an awkward stance that has his arms in an odd position. “I’m guessing Lance told you-”

“About the mission? No, he didn’t. But I heard more than the others before the comm’s cut out, and let me tell you, Keith. I didn’t like one word of it.” 

Keith flinched and tried to find a better way to stand. 

“And even _if_ I hadn’t heard what went down, I’d still be pissed for the way you’ve treated Lance. But I promised him I wouldn’t hurt you, and for the next four minutes I will keep that promise. So what is it you want.” Hunk crosses his arms and puffs his chest out to look that much bigger than he already is. 

Keith would hope Hunk wouldn’t hit him, but he’s seen the other boy when he’s mad. And that’s just a feeling you never forgot.

“I want to apologize for the way I’ve treated Lance.” 

Hunk’s eye twitches and Keith gulps down his fear. 

“I know I fucked up, Hunk. There’s no apology in the world that I could ever give Lance that would make up for the shit I’ve done these past two months. I was a dick, I hurt him, and then I went and got him killed on the last mission.” 

“Exactly! You don’t exactly _sound_ boyfriend material, Keith!” Hunk hissed. 

“I _know_ that.” Keith growled back. “Which is why I’m here. Because I’m _not_ boyfriend material. I don’t know how I'm supposed to even go about doing this, but I figured I’d start by saying sorry. I’m sorry for the way I hurt Lance; for the things I said. It was wrong. And as someone who knows him better than anyone in this castle, I felt that apology needed to be extended to you as well.

Hunk frowns but there’s a crack in its harshness. “You think?” 

Keith nods slowly. “Look, Hunk. I’m not asking you to be my best friend, alright? At this point, Lance has done the impossible and forgiven me.”

“You mean he said he’d try.” Hunk corrects, and Keith flinches because he forgot about that. 

“Right.” He mutters. “He’s trying. But I’m scared that he’s gonna get over trying and when that happens, he’s gonna get over me. 

“Which he should.” 

“But I love him.” Keith blurts. Hunk tries to keep grounded but feels his shoulders dip a bit. “I love him, Hunk. Ever since he took that hit for Coran.”

Hunk blinks. “The bonding moment?” 

Keith nods again. “Yeah. And I should be decent enough to let Lance go. But I’m not decent. So if there’s even a sliver of a chance that I can make Lance love me back, make him care about me somewhat so I can show him how much _I_ care, then I need to do whatever I can to make it happen.” 

A silence falls over the room as Hunk stares at the Red Paladin a bit harder. Keith’s four minutes are up. If he takes a punch to the face, Hunk could definitely murder him. And again, Keith would honestly deserve it. 

But instead of a beating, Hunk’s shoulders drop and he moves to plop down on his bed with a heavy sigh. “You’re not just doing this out of guilt right? Otherwise, I would really have to kill you." 

Keith laughs; it’s a thin little thing that could be described as a whimper when Hunk looks at him. “Not out of guilt. I just need to make this right, Hunk. I need to _unhurt_ him.” 

Keith just needs to figure out how to do that. Because Lance deserved so much more than him. He did. Keith should be kind enough to let Lance find someone who wouldn’t hurt him the way he’s hurt him, but the thought of that is too painful to even dwell on. Because he want’s Lance to want him. And he wants Lance to smile at him and tell him stupid jokes. He wants to hug Lance after missions and know that he’s okay. Do the things he could’ve done had he not been so cruel.

"How did you know Lance was allergic to pineapple?” Hunk asks quietly, breaking Keith of his thoughts.

Keith, despite giving a half shrug, tells the truth when he says, "I listen when he talks." 

And he's not sure how but Hunk let's him leave the room without a broken nose and better yet, _alive_. There's a promise to Keith that if he needs help with anything Lance related, that Hunk would be willing to listen and maybe,  _just maybe_ , Keith would get some assistance. 

Of course, Hunk still regrets not punching him in the face when he had the chance. But a promise is a promise.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot longer than I intended and in Keith's perspective too! Someone mentioned Keith having to deal with Hunk (You know who you are) and my mind was blown. I just had to put it in because like, Lance and Hunk are best friends and best friends don't just sit back and let assholes hurt you anymore. So I give you all, the ultimate bro. But I think Keith is gonna have to confide in Hunk a lot and Hunk will slowly start warming up to Keith again because c'mon. Keith has shown that he's had interest in Lance for a while and it seems genuine. And in the end, it's up to Lance to decide what he wants from Keith. But Hunk's gonna have a lot to deal with when Lance starts meeting...others? Haha. I'm wracking my brain on how this story is gonna go. So many options.


	12. Kintsugi

“I hate this.” Lance grumbles. 

Keith’s only contribution to his comment is a quiet, “ _Tch_ ,” as his body continues it’s gentle swaying in the jungle like vines.

And before people start pointing fingers, Lance wants to make it perfectly clear that this was all Keith’s fault. 

“It’s not my fault you idiot.” Keith snaps, flailing his arms so he can rotate just enough to get a good kick in at where Lance hangs only a few feet over. “You were the one that didn’t listen to Shiro, now look where we are.” 

“Hanging like a bunch of monkey’s.” Hunk mutters from behind them.

"Man, I hate this." Lance says again, just to tick Keith off.

Because Keith really was the reason they were like this. Allura had made it perfectly clear that Lance was healthy enough to complete this mission. Maybe get his blood pumping and have his body break back into the familiarity of saving the universe. So of course when Shiro dropped him off with Hunk and Keith, he did so without complaint because sitting confined to a room was a quick way to get anxious. He needed the stimulation.

Lance pouts and stares down at where his bayard had fallen from his hip. There was no shooting his way out of these vines, that much was obvious. Although they wouldn’t be in this mess had Keith watched where he was going and not fallen into the most blatant trap ever created by man. Or alien. Probably alien. And now, they were going to be stuck there until either Shiro came to their rescue, or whoever set the trap ate them. First mission since he’d nearly died and Keith was already messing it up for them. 

“We aren’t getting eaten by anybody, Lance.” Keith sighed in frustration.

Lance just shot him a glare and tried to stop that rather dreadful swinging he had going on. “Stop ruining my inner monologue, Keith. And we’re totally getting eaten.” 

Hunk gags. “W-wait!” He calls. “I thought Allura said this planet was friendly? They aren’t friendly? Why would she say they’re friendly if they’re _not_ friendly!” 

“Hunk.” Lance called harshly. “Allura hasn’t been on this planet for _thousands_ of years. I’m pretty sure friendlies can turn unfriendly in that period of time.” 

“Oh man.” Hunk whimpers. “I’m gonna puke.” 

“Well puke that way.” Keith snarls. “And for the last time, we aren’t getting eaten. Allura said the inhabitants were peaceful so we don’t have anything to worry about.” 

Lance felt his body go rigid at the sound of light rustling before he even saw the advancing figures. 

“I wouldn’t be too sure about that.” A voice called from beneath their hanging forms. 

There were at least twelve them, all creeping through the alien underbrush with luminescent weapons of varying abilities. If they wanted to kill them from where they hung, they most definitely could. 

“Who are you?” The voice called out again. 

And Lance can’t really see who it is so he has to wiggle a bit to change direction. Which is totally worth the pain because these aliens are _yellow!_ Yellow and absolutely stunning. And not because one of the female looking ones had a blowgun. 

Lance blinked down at the upsidedown form of the taller male keeping a trained bow and arrow-like thing on Keith’s forehead. One wrong word and it’d be game over for their teammate. Not that Keith cares. 

“Was that a threat?” Keith hisses and the tallest of the strange group tightens his grip on his arrow. 

At this rate, Keith’s gonna get himself killed. 

So Lance takes it upon himself to play leader in Shiro’s absence. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hello? Yes, you. Can we just, calm down for a second so we can explain?” Lance raises his palms to show surrender and feels a bit better when who _he_ believes is their leader, lowers his weapons a bit. “Excuse my friend, he’s just upset that we got ourselves in this mess.”

Keith jerks in his confines. “ _You_.” He whispers harshly. “ _You_ got us in this mess, Lance. Shiro said, stay on the path, and what do you do? You step off the path!” 

“I’m a man of adventure, Keith.” Lance whispers back with just as much energy. “ _You_ were the one that stepped in the trap.” 

“Guys?” Hunk calls, and both Paladins look down to see that they’ve begun to test this groups patience. 

“Sorry!” Lance squeaks. “Look, I know we may not look it, but we’ve been sent by Princess Allura of Altea to come find you guys.” 

The leaders ears, long and pointed with brown tips, twitch as if the name rings a bell. And a shift works through the group in a gentle wave as their postures relax somewhat. 

“Princess Allura of the Altean Empire? We were told she perished under the Galran attack.”

“Well she didn’t.” Keith mutters. 

Lance rolls his eyes and wiggles some more so he can continue to watch his surroundings. “What my friend means is the Princess is still alive. Have you not heard of Voltron?” 

“Only rumours.” A shorter figure steps forward. She’s graceful in her saunter, the caramel wraps swaying about her chest as she holds her stalf tight and looks as if she's about to poke at them. “You claim to be affiliated with these people?”

“We are those people, lady.” Keith snaps. “I’m the Red Paladin.” 

Lance waves to get their attention. “Blue Paladin of the Blue lion.” He says before smiling at the smaller one below him. “It’s a pleasure.” 

“And I’m Hunk.” Hunk calls. “And I would also love it if someone could cut me down from this death trap.” 

The leader continues to study them, light brown eyes flickering about them before he stepped back and nodded to the smaller one to cut them down. Lance has succeeded in doing what Shiro would’ve done and honestly, it felt amazing. More amazing than watching Hunk get cut down and timber into a bush with a startled _thump_. 

Keith follows soon after, and with the grace of a cat, lands on both feet despite the one female’s distaste. 

“Thanks again for not like, killing us.” Lance says before the vine snaps and the tension around his ankle disappears. He thinks he’s gonna fall to the ground in a similar Hunk-like fashion, but two powerful arms hold strong beneath his back and barely even shift when he makes impact. It’s enough to knock the air from his lungs. 

“Thanks, Keith.” He murmured airly; pausing only when soft chuckle echoed against his shoulder. 

“You mistake me for another.” The voice said. 

And Lance almost has a stroke because that voice belongs to a _wow_. Whatever this being is, it’s nothing compared to anything he’s seen since he hauled ass into space. This was above anything he could’ve imagined. This guy was beautiful. Unless _he_ is actually a _she_. Not that Lance cares. Lance wouldn’t even ask if it meant he could look at this magnificent creation for a bit longer. 

“H-Hi, there.” Lance stutters; hates himself for it. “Names Lance.” 

The alien, Allura had called them something, he just can’t remember. Something like, yale's? Or Yacks. Yints? The Yint species! Rhymes with mint. He should remember that. The Yint, laughs again, and it almost sounds like a purr. 

“Blue Paladin.” He smiled, all canines and sharpened molars. “I am Nuru.” 

“And I’m Keith.” Keith said, suddenly beside Lance in a matter of seconds. Two gloved hands carefully extracted Lance from beneath the curious vertical pupils watching them closely, and even though lance was a bit bummed to be taken away, he couldn’t help but blush when Keith kept him secured behind him with a protective arm. “You okay?” He asked quietly, tilting his head to glance at Lance. 

“Never better, Mullet.” He smiled. “Think you should ask Hunk that.” 

Hunk took his time pulling himself out of the bushes before stumbling over to his teammates with a hand to his head. “What? What’s happening?” 

“We’re making friends.” Lance said, gesturing to the tall figures that had shifter closer. They definitely out did Shiro in terms of height. They were practically looking down at them, even the women. 

“Come, Paladins of Voltron. Altea was a close friend of ours. I’m interested to see what business you have with our people once more.” Nuru waves a thick hand and Keith makes sure to keep Lance close as they walk. And if that’s a new thing, than Lance had no real problems with it. Although he wasn’t going to ignore the fact that it still made him a bit...wary.

“You think they’re leading us to our doom?” Hunk whispered. 

The female Yint’s ears flicker and she tosses a single braid over her shoulder. “If we wanted to kill you, we would have done so the second those traps triggered.” 

Hunk slinks back behind Lance with a whine and Lance tries to ignore the way the girl flashes her fangs at them. 

And it’s not like they have much to worry about. The civilization they are led to is nothing short of lavish; an alien utopia if you would. The roadways are lined with glowing flowers that shrink up when you get too close, and the sloth looking things that Pidge and Shiro had come across wander about in their slow way of life. The square homes they have require dark drape like curtains that keep out what little sun filters through the vines during the day. A sort of, nocturnal species that didn’t like the sun much and showed it in their way of living. 

“My father won’t be ready to meet until the night has fallen completely. Until then, you may wait here before speaking to him.” Nuru says, directing his words to Lance and Lance only. Which has him back pedaling out of the situation as quickly as he can. 

“I’m not the one that needs to speak with him.” He blurts. “I mean, we do. Need to speak to him. But that’s more of the Princess’ job.” 

Nuru cocks his head and let’s his ears flick in the warm atmosphere. “You are not the leader of Voltron, then?” 

Lance can’t help but raise an eyebrow. “What gave you that idea?” And he says this not cuz he thinks he couldn’t be a leader, but because it’s weird that this planet has not yet heard of Voltron's return. Especially after Zarkon's defeat. Keith must think this too because he shuffles closer to Lance’s side.  

“Ah,” Nuru hums. “Well it’s common for our people to choose leaders based on their oral capabilities. Things like reasoning; physique as well. I had assumed the Princess found both of those strengths and attributes in you.” 

Lance beams, looks at Keith with a shit eating grin and jerks a thumb Nuru’s way. “He thinks I’m hot.” He whispered. 

Hunk gave a thumbs up and Keith jammed his elbow in the boy's chest with a pointed look. 

“No matter.” Nuru announces. “The Princess has always chosen strong allies. The yellow one over there has very appealing capabilities as well.” 

Hunk blushes and nudges at Keith with a grin to match Lance’s. “He thinks we’re hot.” 

Keith’s not sure how much more of this he can take so he jerks away from the two and glances at Nuru. “We should alert the Princess. I’m sure her and Shiro have started worrying and I’d like to leave as soon as possible. 

Nuru smiles at Keith and waves a hand. “Do what you must. I’ll go speak with my father and ready the table.” 

“Great.” Keith says; clipped in his tone. “You do that. Lance? Come help me set up the flare.” 

“Don’t you know how-”

“ _Just help me_.” Keith growled. His hands, although a bit insistent, remained gentle in their hold as he tugged Lance to an empty enough center of land to send out their location. The transition metals in the outer atmosphere just so happened to be enough that it cut off communications with the castle. The Altean flair would shoot high enough for Pidge to track and the castle would be able to land in no longer than ten minutes. 

“I want to get out of here as quickly as possible.” He muttered as he popped the metal cap off the flare and started rotating the neck of the tip. 

Lance crossed his arms and watched Keith as he tapped at the signal in frustration. Frustration at what? He didn’t know. “So you wanna leave because...?” 

“Because that Nuru guy shouldn’t look at you like that.” He grumbles. 

And Lance shakes his head a bit in confusion. “Like what?” 

Keith smacks the flair against his knee with a grunt. “Like he’s thinking about, courting you or something.” He spits.

Lance really doesn’t have the patience for this vague tip toeing bullcrap anymore. So he steps back and watches the flare light up and start expelling pale blue smoke. 

“And why is that a problem?” He asks, because at this point, Lance was gonna head back towards Hunk and leave this uncomfortable situation. Being alone with Keith was proving just as difficult as he had predicted and he didn't have the time to dwell on how it was making him feel.

But Keith just straightens, steps closer and stares him dead on before raising his arm above his head and jabbing the flare towards the sky. “Because that’s _my_ job.” 

And then the flare shoots out of Keith’s hand in a line of shiney blue fire.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Keith, jealous Keith, jealous Keith! I feel like I've finally come to a decision on where I wanna see this story go. I've been in a panic trying to uphold a strong plot while providing at least a chapter a day. I guess I just needed to lay in the shower for a bit before it came to me, haha. But jealous Keith is here! And I don't know how Lance is gonna handle that. It's probably overwhelming seeing these sides of Keith, but maybe these sides are what he'll find appealing. Hmmm.


	13. Negotiations and Heart Palpitations

Allura has the castle bumping against the ground just twelve dobashes later. It's worth the wait because it's pretty awesome watching as it cuts through the thick space vines like nobody's business and leaves a hefty amount of flora casualties in it's wake. And it must be quite the event, having a giant ass castle land not far from where you sleep. Because it’s not hard to catch quick flashes of yellow in the greeny as Lance waits with Hunk and Keith for Allura to descend from the opened bridge. 

And it’s not that Lance cares or anything, but Keith takes off rather quickly to where Shiro's walking beside the princess; already talking quietly about his conspiracy theories surrounding Nuru or something. Which is stupid. Keith’s probably just mad that Nuru said something nice to him. That’s all it is. 

“You okay, man?” Hunk asks as he settles beside the Cuban. Allura had stopped in her trek to get to them and seemed mildly interested in whatever Shiro was saying to Keith; hand gestures and all. So that left Pidge free to come bounding past their leader and onto the planet's surface with an excited smirk. 

“That flare worked great, huh? I could see it without Green even looking for it.” 

Lance nodded absentmindedly and went back to staring at the back of Keith’s head. 

He realizes, after some internal digging, that the problem wasn’t the fact that Keith was showing interest in him. Lance wasn’t some virgin teenage girl that fled the second someone gave him a little attention. He practically got Nuru to fall in love with him and they'd only been on the planet for about two hours. But it was mostly the fact that Keith managed to do the _thing_. The whole, heart skip, thing. A thing that Lance hadn’t expected him to be able to accomplish so soon if even at all. But of course he went and did it without much issue, and as much as he wanted it to _not_ freak him out, it did. It scared the hell out of him. 

Because it made him question if he was really just that weak to boy. 

“Hey.” Hunk murmured, using a strong hand to turn Lance so they were facing each other. Pidge immediately stopped her gloating and looked at Lance with just as much concern as their bigger teammate. “What’s wrong?” 

“Lance, you’re shaking.” Pidge says gently. 

And look at that. He is.

“Oh.” He says quietly. “I, um-” 

“Did you get hurt? Did Nuru do something we didn’t see?”

Lance swats at the hands fluttering about his body in concern. It’s not like he’s bleeding to death or something, it’s just his nerves. “I’m _fine_ , Hunk. Keith just startled me is all.” 

“He did something?” Pidge hissed. 

And Lance has to reach out and grab at the neck of her suit when she turns with murderous intent. “You two need to take it down a notch, okay? Everything's fine.” 

“Then why are you shaking?”

Lance crossed his arms so they wouldn’t stare at his hands anymore. “Because Keith basically said he liked me and I just, I don’t know. It made my heart stop.” 

“Your  _heart stopped?_ ” Pidge shrieked, and Lance had to wrangled her back in once more. 

“Not like that.” He wailed. “It just surprised me, okay? I’m trying to figure it out.” 

And he is, like he always has. Because he knows, deep down, that that shock derives from feeling like it’s too soon too even be thinking about Keith like that. Shiro always said patience yields focus, so maybe Shiro was the one he needed to talk to again. He always had good dad insight.

Pidge and Hunk don’t seem very satisfied with his reassurance but let it go as Allura broke away from Keith and Shiro’s rather heated conversation. 

“You spoke with the Prince, I assume?” Allura said lightly as she arrived beside where they had huddled together. 

Lance feels his eyes widen a bit in surprise and straightens from where he had hunched over. “He was a _Prince_?”

“ _Is_.” Allura corrects. “He _is_ a prince, Lance. The son of King Oka who I hope is ready to speak with us, is he not?” 

“He is.” Nuru said from over Lance’s shoulder; practically appearing from thin air. 

A tremble shot up his spine and he ducked away with another squeak as the taller male flashed a slightly amused smile and leaned back in a less invasive position. 

“I must apologize on his behalf. He’s not as young as he once was and the sun has a rather, draining effect on his body.” 

Allura waved a delicate hand as if batting away Nuru’s words. “There’s no need for an apology, Nuru. I’m just thankful you all are willing to hear us out in such troubling times.” 

Lance could say amen to that. Troubling times were all they really got these days. Or at least, that’s all the universe was throwing at him recently, so come on!

But there isn’t much hassle as Nuru, once again, leads the entire group back to one of the larger huts that now had it’s curtains drawn from the gaping windows. The grass was littered with glowing green specks and easily stole Pidge’s interest as they gathered inside the large space and waited for Nuru to take his respectful place in the corner. 

The king sat on a throne made of pale rock and peered at them with an expression Lance couldn’t place. It was teetering between bored and annoyed. A face that wasn’t too welcoming and made him shuffle closer to Hunk. 

Allura, however, waltzed forward without a single hesitation and tilted her head down quickly in a show of respect. “King Oka. It’s been some time since I last saw your face.” 

The King studied Allura patiently before a smile, although hard to detect, spread along his broad face. He was handsome in a scary way. Nothing like how Lance would’ve imagined him after talking to Nuru. 

“Princess Allura.” He purred. “I could say the same to you. I believe you were only a little girl when I came to the Kingdom.” 

“Ah,” Allura laughed. “Well I’m not such a little girl anymore.”

The King nodded. “I can see that. You lead the Paladins of Voltron as well. A feat that, not even your father could’ve pulled off as gracefully as you have.” He leaned his body forward and let his face grow solemn. “I was devastated to hear of your empire's destruction. Until now, I had believed you had perished along with the rest of your people.” 

Allura jerked her head and hardened her expression before any pain could seep through. It was something that Lance had always admired her for, the strength to hold your head high. “Thank you.” She murmured. “My father would be happy to hear your condolences. And since he isn’t with us anymore, I will be in charge of handling the alliance I fear we’ve have lost over the years.” 

The king cocked his head and let a small smile tug at his lips. “Our alliance has not been lost, Princess. Despite the death of your Kingdom, believe me when I say that we have not forgotten the strong relationship between our people. And I’m rather pleased that you have come here alive and well to bring up matters long forgotten.” 

“So you’re willing to go over a new alliance?” 

Nuru looked to his father who, in turn, waved a hand along the line of Paladins. “Of course. Do you request my people’s aid?” 

Allura clasped her hands behind her back and shook her head. “Not exactly.” She said. “With Zarkon defeated, we’ve learned his heir has taken the throne and begun operations to finish what Zarkon had not yet done.” 

“I heard of Lotor’s movement through the Empire.” The king murmured. 

Allura shook her head in confirmation and stepped closer. “As it stands, we know he’s begun expanding the hand of his control. He takes planets by storm and uses their resources as a means to strengthen his forces. We feel that it’s best we start rekindling the alliances we lost during our Kingdoms silence in an effort to create our own forces. We will need the support this time.”

“As do we.” The King grunted. “We’ve only just begun to feel the effects of the Galra Empires actions.” 

Allura cocked her head and glanced between father and son. “So you knew nothing of Voltron's win over Zarkon?” 

Lance glances at Keith because they both found it a bit odd. Almost every planet they'd gone to had at least _heard_ of their battles, but it was possible that these guys had come out unscathed in the recent chaos.

Nuru drew their attention when he clasped at his father's shoulder and squeezed. “Our people have remained out of these political scuffles for some time now.” 

“You mean a war.” Shiro says from beside Keith. 

The king glances at the Black Paladin and narrows his eyes a bit. Lance sees a flicker of annoyance cross the King's face but it disappears before he’s sure. “This war is starting to influence my people's way of life. The Galra’s poisonous ways have touched our planet before and we would hate to see it happen again.” He then turned to Allura. “Princess. If at all capable, would you mind returning tomorrow at nightfall once again to discuss this alliance further. Our people would seek protection if it was made known that we were resisting Lotor’s army.” 

“We can do that.” Shiro stated; glancing at Allura with a conformational nod. 

Nuru settled his father, murmured something to him, and quickly held out an arm in the direction of the door. Apparently, despite it being dark out, the king lacked an ability to retain enough energy for even a thirty minute conversation. Lance glances at the king one final time before hurrying out and watching as the draps flapped closed and stayed closed. 

“I guess we’ll be here longer than I expected. He always was a procrastinator; never did anything in quick fashion.” Allura griped. And as she continued to complain to Coran, who nodded along with memories of his own, Lance shortened his stride until he fell behind enough that he and Shiro were alone.

“I don’t like this guy.” Shiro grumbled. 

Lance gave a sympathetic look and pat at the older mans shoulder. “Did you tell Allura?” Because even though Lance and Keith were dealing with their own issues, it wasn’t like Shiro had been good at hiding his growing affections for the girl.

“Tell her what? That I think Keith might be right about something being off?” He grumbled, huffing so the white tufts of hair wouldn’t obstruct his vision. 

“You _believe_ that Mullet?” Lance asked, genuinely shocked. “He’s just overreacting.”

And Shiro shrugged as they continued on towards the castle with less energy than they had prior. “How have things been going between you two?” 

Lance kicked at a space rock and watched it bounce once, twice, three times before answering in a similar fashion. “Awkward. Tense. Strained. It’s just...it’s been a lot.” 

“You know you’re allowed time, right?” Shiro said gently; like he could tell Lance’s thoughts were a bit fragile and needed care instead of blunt statements.

“I get that,” Lance sighs, “But how much time does a person need, y’know? Am I dragging this out?” 

“You can’t drag out feelings, Lance.” Shiro points out. “It’s all up to _you_ and how _you_ feel. And trust me when I say that you deserve as much time as you need to understand how you feel.” 

Lance can’t help the way his throat closes up and he’s practically forced to choke the words out. “I just feel like I’m gonna hurt him.”

Because he knows how it feels to be hurt; more times than he could count. And even though he knew, rightfully, that Keith deserved to endure the things he was forced to endure, it's not in his nature to be cruel. He owed it to himself to be able to tell Keith he wasn't interested if that's where he was at.

"You're something else, Lance." Shiro murmures; baffled. “After everything that’s happened, I think you’re allowed to risk hurting Keith.” 

“Maybe.” Lance agreed, happy to see he could speak without his voice cracking. “He made me feel something back there, though. It kinda freaked me out.”

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “The heart thing?” 

And Lance nodded with a dramatic look of horror. “Yeah.”

Shiro hums his own sympathy and looks out at where Keith was walking, bod huddled close to Hunk in a way no one had seen him do before. “Don’t let one moment rule your decision, Lance. Be patient with it.” Shiro bumps their shoulders together and gives a lopsided smirk that’s so puppy like, Lance wants to ruffle his hair. Shiro was just, amazing, really. 

And he smiles back because if it weren’t for this man, he’s sure he would’ve lost his mind at some point. There was only so much self-talking you could do on your own and it was nice to have another voice of reason. Especially when that voice of reason was the only person that knew Keith on a personal level. “I think that Nuru guy likes me.” Lance whispers.

Shiro just grins. “See?” He says. “What did I tell you?”

“Yeah, Yeah. Matchmaker Shiro over here predicting everyone's futures.” Lance teased. 

Shiro blushed and turned his face away so Lance couldn’t see him pout. “So." He said lightly. "What do you think of him?”

Shiro was prodding. He had the shovel in hand and couldn't help digging into Lance's love life like the little gossiper he was.

Lance looked up at the sky and shrugged. “I dunno.” He said honestly. “I think I have more of a thing for shorter guys.”

Shiro let’s out a bark of laughter so loud, the flowers lock up and bathe them all in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is everyone? I hate myself for the late updates but I haven't been home as much as I would like to be and can't get them out as early as I want to. Either way, looks like they'll be on this planet for a minute. Which just gives Lance more time to wander about and hang with a certain...someone. Oh boy. But Shiro is always down for that space dad wisdom. I think that even though Keith and him are like brothers, he knows that what Keith's done to Lance is wrong. He's kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place because he still cares for Keith, but he needs to protect Lance as well. And Lance felt something guys. Keith made his heart do the thing and that's no laughing matter. He's still very much conflicted which is why I think talking to Shiro helps him big time. More jealous Keith is on the way, I promise! And thank you all for the comments and kudos. I'm having so much fun writing this.


	14. One Step Closer

“Maybe he’s into taller guys.” Keith muttered miserably. He had finally reached the sulking stage and couldn’t find it in himself to quit pouting. 

“I think you’re overthinking this, Keith.” Hunk said, flinching every time one of the flowers followed the movement of their bodies. “I mean, he did like you before.” 

Keith groaned again and resisted the urge to scream. “ _Did_.” He said. “He _did_ like me. And now that asshole prince is gonna swoop down and ruin my chance.” 

Hunk tried to look apologetic but couldn't hold it long when he made a small noise of surprise at the tiny finger jabbing into the meat of his side. The kind of contact that made him cringe and shrink against Keith for safety. 

Pidge just gave them an unimpressed look before joining their walking duo. Or trio, now. “So you’re helping Keith now?” She accused. 

Hunk raised two hands and shook his head. “I’m not helping Keith do _anything_. I made that very clear during our conversation.” 

“So why are you trying to make him feel better?” Pidge questioned. 

Keith crossed his arms and glared at their younger teammate. “Because he’s trying to help me get Lance on my side again.” 

And Pidge must find that the funniest thing in the universe because she snorts into her arm and tries to contain the harsh giggles even though the helmet does nothing to muffle the sounds. 

“You need a miracle, Keith. Not Hunk.” She laughs. 

Keith glances over his shoulder at where Lance and Shiro had fallen behind in what appeared to be their _own_ private conversation. But as long as they remained out of earshot, then Keith would continue his plotting without issue. “Would you shut up?” He hissed, meeting Pidge’s glare head on. “Besides. Pretty soon, my miracle will be stomped out by a certain shitty prince, who, by the way, is as trustworthy as _Zarkon_.” 

“You sure you’re not just mad he said Lance was pretty?”

Keith looks at Hunk in horror. “He didn’t say Lance was _pretty_. He said he had a good physique. You really want Lance hanging out with some guy after his body?”

“Pretty sure he said he liked his mouth too.” Pidge muttered thoughtfully. 

Keith flailed his arms and stared at Hunk with wide eyes. “ _See!_ ” He snarled, then, with a lot of effort, forced himself to calm down. “Listen. If you two aren’t gonna help me with this Lance then fine. But at least help me keep him away from that Nuru guy, alright? I just have a bad feeling.”

Keith isn’t dramatic. He doesn’t play up his emotions into something more when he could be brutally honest. And right now, Keith was being brutally honest.

So Hunk holds out a hand to stop whatever joke Pidge is thinking up. He can tell Keith’s protective urges are well placed; Hunk wasn’t one to trust people so quickly either. And Pidge, although satisfied seeing Keith squirm with jealousy, knew in her right mind that the prince had obviously said somethings that were a little bold. So when it came down to it, it wouldn’t hurt doing this one favor for Keith. 

“Fine.” Pidge muttered. “But don’t think I won’t choke you out if Lance get’s hurt again.”

Keith gave them a grateful, maybe even a bit intimidated, smile before Shiro let out a booming laugh that caused all the flowers to close in surprise and plunge them into darkness. It’s a good way to get their spirits up again. Keith even snickers under his breath when he hears Lance’s giggles morph into full blown laughter. The Cuban is already on his knees, practically crying with how hard he’s laughing and by then, it’s contagious. 

They’re nice enough to keep their flashlights aimed down so they don’t expose Shiro in all his blushing glory. But Allura is still giggling and they’re not too sure how the older man will ever live this down. 

“I’m going to train.” Shiro grumbled before lumbering into the castle. 

Keith hears the others mumble their own destinations but he’s really only focused on one. He watches Lance say goodnight to Pidge and Hunk before turning to catch up to Coran.

He reached out for the man and flashed a gentle, but almost desperate, smile. “Do you mind if I use the navigation room tonight?” He asked.

Coran didn’t seemed phased by the question and ruffled at Lance’s hair in response. “Of course, my boy. Just remember to shut it down before going to sleep.” 

And it isn’t like Keith is intruding or anything, but he tries to act like he’s busy as the two break apart towards their own respective areas. Pretty soon, Keith is left standing by himself in the entrance to the castle. 

He must be overthinking this, just like Hunk said. It had never been this hard talking to Lance and he hates how tough it feels now. He beats his head against the wall the entire the walk to the navigation room just thinking about what he was going to say. And in that short period of time, his nerves light on fire, like he has to fight every instinct in his body to not turn and walk away. Just walk away before you say something stupid and embarrass yourself.

But there’s no turning back now.

Lance had turned the lights off so that nothing could interfere with the planet’s moon light filtering in. It also helped further illuminate the array of constellations and planets Lance had managed to project in the time it took Keith to walk in. And for a moment, it’s hard to locate his lean figure in the dim room. 

“Lance?” Keith called out. 

He sees the hesitation, almost like Lance isn't ready to look away before he turned to peek at where Keith was too nervous to fully step into the room. “Oh.” He replied, before raising a brow. “What’s up, Mullet?” 

Keith took a few steps forward and ducked beneath Orion's Belt before saying, “Was just about to ask you that.”  

Lance goes back to his previous position of leaning against the coordinate post and doesn’t seem to mind when Keith takes a careful seat beside him. The close proximity makes his mind race with excitement and he has to shift a bit to create a little distance. 

“Coran taught me how to find our solar system.” Lance says. “Helps remind me that we’re not too far from home.” 

Keith looked at his hands and tried his best to keep the conversation going. “You miss it?” He asks.

And Lance doesn’t look at him like it’s a stupid question because he knows now that Keith didn’t have a good home life. If Keith were being honest too, he’d probably say that Lance and everyone else were about as close to a family as they could get.

“I miss a lot of things.” Lance says carefully. “But I hate the thought of my mama _mourning_ me. I don’t like not being able to tell her I’m okay.” 

“Are you?” Keith says suddenly; shifts when Lance raises and eyebrow. “I mean, have you been okay? I know we haven’t talked much since the…” He waves his hands a bit.

“Yeah...” Lance mumbles. 

And Keith nods because he doesn’t know what else to do. “Right. But after that. I never got a chance to...to ask you.” 

Lance stares off at where the Big Dipper continues its cycle around the room and shrugs. “I’m glad I’m here on a mission. I'm happy for the distraction.” He says.

Keith worries his lower lip, unsure what’s okay to say and what’s not. “Are you having bad dreams?” 

Lance laughs. He looks like he wants to cry and Keith is beginning to panic. “T-They’re not _dreams_ , Keith. Dreams aren’t _real_. They’re things you make up in your head. I _remember_ stuff. Stuff that freaks me out. _You_. _You_ freak me out, Keith. The things you say don’t align with your actions and I just, I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.” Keith breathes. “You don’t have to know all the time, Lance. I know I’ve made this hard.” Which is an understatement. He’s made things between them hell. An absolute clusterfuck that he was in a panic to fix. But how do you fix something you're not even sure has a form yet? Lance and him _weren't_ anything. "You're allowed to be scared too." Keith says gently. "And if you wanna come to me when you're scared, that's okay too."

Lance wraps his arms around himself before offering Keith another smile. It wilts, slightly, but comes back to life with the right amount of care. “This is weird, isn’t it?” 

“It’s not weird.” Keith says. 

Lance looks skeptical. “But you look like you want to leave.”

“I didn’t say that.” 

“You didn’t _have_ to.” Lance whispers to the floor. 

And Keith wracks his brain in a desperate attempt to think of something. _Anything_. Whatever he can to get Lance to just, sit and be with him for a little while longer. 

“I’m sorry for what I said back in the jungle.” Keith muttered. 

“You don’t have to be.” 

Keith shakes his head. “But I am. I didn’t mean to scare you, I was just-”

“Pissed?” Lance finishes for him. He’s got this cocky grin on his face that makes Keith roll his eyes and go back to rubbing at his palm. “You didn’t scare me, Keith.” Lance says. 

And Keith is surprised. Surprised because he hadn’t been sure what Lance’s reaction meant. Not after he blushed and stalked away from him like he just threatened his mother or something. He could only assume that he’d scared Lance away. He always scares Lance away.

“Oh.” Is all he can think to say.

“Yeah.” Lance teases, smile genuine this time around. “It was kinda cute actually.” 

Keith doesn't want to feel embarrassed so he gets defensive. “Go to hell, Lance.” He grumbles, but Lance just flashes him another smile and laughs somewhere up at Mars. 

“Bet I could take you to heaven, Kogane.” He quipped back. 

And Keith leaned forward with a challenging glint in in his eye that he was sure he only got during battle. “That a promise?” He huffed before he could stop himself.

And Lance just sucks in a shaky breath as a blush creeps along the bridge of his nose; the shade growing darker the longer they stare into each other's eyes. They’re far too close for them to each have their own personal bubble, and Lance is the first to break away with a pained groan. 

“Was that too much?” Keith asked nervously. 

Lance nodded his head in confirmation. “ _Way_ too much. You’re getting better at your come backs, Kogane. I’ll give you that.” 

“Thanks.” Keith said as he shifted away. 

The stars continued their rotation around the room and a companionable silence fell between them. He’s not sure but, it feels comfortable. Like he’s not so worried about what he’s going to say or how Lance will react. Probably what it’d feel like if he hadn’t messed everything up. 

“Keith?”

Keith looked at where Lance had focused on the moon. 

“How do you feel about me?” 

Something makes his whole body lock up in panic. And it’s not that he won’t tell Lance how he feels because he will. He totally will. It’s just...it feels too soon. Clunky. Like the words won’t hold the right amount of weight and lose their meaning. So he settles for saying, “Strongly.”

And that seems to settle the boy. “Okay.” He says slowly. Keith can see the way his eyelids are drooping. 

“How am I doing so far?” 

Lance snorts lightly. “Okay, I guess. I’ve felt worse about other people.” 

Keith wants to tell Lance that it’s not very reassuring, but the other boy starts moving and finally settles with his head on Keith’s shoulder. 

“But I’ve never felt the way I did until I looked at you.” 

*

Keith falls asleep sometime during the night feeling good. Feeling _great_. Feeling like, for the first time in a while, he and Lance were slowly fixing the empty spaces Keith had punched out between them. 

It makes him desperate.

Lance had left him sometime during the night, but not before folding up his jacket and placing it beneath Keith’s had as a makeshift pillow. It’s an action that makes Keith scrabble at the material and bury his face in it. Because this was a _piece_ of Lance. A piece that he had willingly given to Keith while he was asleep. 

He doesn’t want to get his hopes up but it sends his heart thudding in his chest. 

Keith should go find him 

The sun was up again judging by the light filtering through the castle windows, and after a bit of searching, he found that the intervals between night and day here were skewed compared to Earth. Daylight lasted about five hours shorter than what they were used to and night seemed to drag on. It explained why the Yint’s lived here, even if he hated them.

Keith ends up walking into a lively breakfast with Coran already reenacting some crazy battle from his younger years. 

And it’s Shiro, of course, who pulls out a chair and says, “Goodmorning.” with a pained glance Corans way.

“Hey.” Keith murmures. “What’s going on?” 

Shiro is bit eager to give Keith his attention. Sometimes rowdy conversations made him uncomfortable. “We were just going over today's plans. Allura says they should be able to come to an agreement on the alliance and once that’s done, we’ll leave.”

“Good.” Keith huffed. “I’m getting sick of this place.” 

Hunk snorted at something Coran did and must have swallowed wrong because he fell into a fit of choking that forced Pidge to punch at his back. Shiro may have chuckled, but Keith was distracted by the empty chair beside Allura. 

“Where’s Lance?” He blurted, loud enough that everyone stopped. 

Allura’s face lit up response and he felt a nagging frustration. “Oh!” She chirped. “Nuru came for him a few varga’s ago. I assumed he wanted to show him around some before we left.”  

_Son of a bitch._

Keith turns his head and _glares_ at Pidge and Hunk who gulp and raise their hands like, _we didn’t know man_.  

“Is something wrong?” Allura asks quietly. 

And yes. _Everything_ is wrong. Lance was alone with the one thing on this planet that he couldn't stand and Keith was absolutely _livid_. 

“I gotta go.” He grumbled before kicking his chair out and stalking towards his room. 

One flight suit later and he was out for blood. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter has opened more doors for Keith's and Lance's relationship to flourish. Nuru aside, Keith's finally managed to get close to Lance after all the tension. And let me tell you, nothing tops Lance falling asleep on Keith's shoulder. This boy probably cried while Lance drooled on his arm. And Lance has had a chance to tell Keith that he's still confused. Lance definately didn't forget everything that had happened and dying has to be mentally scarring. How do you even cope with that knowledge? But he seems at ease knowing Keith holds strong feelings for him.Then I gave you the calm before the storm (although I feel this story has a lot of those). Keith's probably having another, we had a bonding moment! crisis. They finally had another really emotional conversation that ended well and then Nuru comes in to ruin it all. Oh snap. This is gonna get wild.


	15. Try Again

 Lance lay on his belly in the alien underbrush with the nose of his bayard propped up for ultimate stability. He knows he won’t miss the shot, but he adjusts his grip on the trigger a little just to be sure. He's got the flat end of the sniper pressed tight against his shoulder, a spot that was bruised almost constantly from the ricoshay, and he squeezed one eye closed before letting out a soft breath. 

Nuru jumps when he pulls the trigger. There’s a bit of a delay, but the small fruit sitting about eight hundred yards away bursts open in a spray of purple juice as the beam of energy makes contact. The shot is spot on, and he leans away from the scope with a knowing grin that has Nuru staring at him with wide eyes. 

“Impressive.” The prince says in awe. “I’ve never seen such accuracy.” 

Lance takes the stroke to his ego and let’s his bayard phase into it’s original form. He’d been practicing his sniping skills after getting shot by that Galra. Figured he’d could use the skill since he wasn’t a close range fighter. 

“That’s why they call me the sharpshooter.” Lance winked. “You’re not too bad yourself with that bow and arrow thing.”

Nuru looked at the weapon in his hands in confusion. “The yasha,” He says pointedly, “Is a common choice among our people. It’s quite the weapon.” He smiled. 

Lance flicked at the wire like string and watched the swirl of designs pulse a soft white. “A yasha, huh? It’s pretty.” 

“But deadly.” Nuru noted, then looked Lance up and down. “Much like yourself.”

And Lance has to hand it to Nuru. The prince had a way with words and even he was struggling to keep up. 

“When released,” Nuru started again, “The barb knocks against the pad fast enough to set it ablaze.” 

Lance raised a brow. “It catches fire?” 

Nuru nodded with a smile and raised himself to rest back on his knees. Which was quite the sight. Nuru’s arms were practically on display, and the muscle beneath his smooth skin flexed with power and strength as he pulled the barb back and let it fly in a single smooth motion. Lance almost asks him to do it again. 

But Nuru’s right. The end of the barb lights up in a plume of fire and sticks into one of the far trees with a simple _thunk_. 

And then it explodes. 

Lance's eyes light up as Nuru looks down at him in pride.

“Holy shit.” Lance blurted. “That’s so cool. Can I try it? Will it let me?”

Nuru seems pleased by his excitement and easily lowers the body of the weapon with a grin. “You wish to use it?” 

“I wish to blow something up, yes.” Lance said insistently, already making grabby hands for the item. 

And Nuru gives it to him without complaint, already using his free hands to gently pull Lance close and work him into position. It gives Lance the ability to feel the prince in more ways than one as he fits the length of his body to Lance’s back in a soothing presence that almost distracts him to the point of dropping the barb. 

“The yasha is a weighted weapon created for the hands of it’s holder and it’s holder alone.” Nuru informs. 

Lance can feel what it is he’s talking about. It doesn’t hold as comfortable as his own bayard and the weight feels off when he raises it and mimics Nuru’s previous position 

“When you arm yourself,” Nuru murmures. “You want to make sure your body is at the right angle for aiming.” 

A large hand trails the length of his hip and nudges him so his foot rests more to the left. And Nuru’s clawed fingers are blunt as they scrape along the thin undersuit and gently press against his waist before trailing up to encompass Lance’s own hands.

“You need to ensure that you’re holding strong before releasing the barb. Otherwise, it won’t hit your target. An inch can be enough to cost you your life.” 

With Nuru’s support, the weight of the weapon doesn’t feel as off as it once had. And he notices, through the his growing daze, that he can’t help but shiver when the prince’s lips ghost along the shell of his ear. 

“Inhale.”  

Lance sucks in a careful breath.

“ _Release_.” 

He does. 

The barb soars through the air with a low whistle and Lance’s knees give out at the same time. Nuru grabs him just before the barb collides with the space plant so that he can at least _see_ the end result despite his embarrassment. And Nuru is still holding him when it burst into flames. 

“Wow.” Lance stutters. “Remind me not to mess with you guys.” 

He makes sure to laugh so the prince can’t see how flustered he is. It was one thing talking to him under the protection of his helmet, but after Pidge said the planet's atmosphere wasn’t as detrimental as they thought, being out of his helmet made it that much harder to hide his blush. 

“Do not worry, Lance. My people know better than to frighten you.” 

Lance smirked and shifted so he could get a better look at the prince’s face. “Oh, so I’m special?” 

Nuru smiles back with a wink. “Very.” 

Lance gives Nuru his yasha back, although it pains him to let it go, but they had been gone quite some time and he was sure someone was looking for him by now. Probably Shiro. Maybe even Hunk. And even though the idea of showing off for the prince had been too good to pass up, that had been about three vargas ago. Which meant...

“It’d be best to head back.” Nuru sighed while placing the bow along his broad shoulders. “It will be dark soon and I know the princess is eager to finish her business with my father.” 

Lance picked up his helmet and secured it beneath his arm with a sound of agreement. “I’m sure they’re probably looking for me, too.” He muttered. “Don’t want them to worry.” 

Nuru hummed and reached down to grab Lance’s free hand. “Come, then. I will see that you make it to them safely.”

They hadn’t walked far from the castle, but it was enough of a journey that it gave them time to talk. About anything really. Nuru seemed interested enough in his stories and was quite intrigued when he explained how he died on the last mission.

“The red one,” Nuru said suddenly. “You are close to him?” 

Lance shrugged, made sure their hands were still entangled before speaking. “I mean, we weren’t ever really _close_. But I think now is different. I think we’re close in a different way.” 

“Despite the torture you endured.” Nuru pondered. 

And Lance wouldn’t call it torture, but Nuru didn’t understand human interaction the way he did. Lance figured, though, that love could feel like torture sometimes.

“Keith is, complicated.” Lance says carefully. “He’s not very honest, for one. And he isn’t very nice either.” 

Nuru cocked his head. “Yet you still stay by his side?” 

Lance worries his lower lip because he doesn’t want Nuru to get the wrong impression. “I know. I know it sounds weird. But it feels, it feels natural. Even after everything. He’s making an effort and right now, that’s all I could ask for.” 

Nuru stopped on the outer edge of the jungle where the light became too harsh. His brown eyes seemed a bit sad when he faced Lance and Lance couldn’t help but feel like there was no reason to.

“You are an intriguing creature, Lance. If not for our short time, I would have enjoyed spending more with you.”

Lance blushed and swung their linked hands bashfully. “Thanks...I think. And I would have given you more time if I could’ve as well.” 

Nuru smiles at that and tugs Lance close, then _closer_ , before wrapping an arm around his waist and guiding his hand up. “I’m grateful for the time we’ve had.” He whispered, lacing their fingers together and planting a gentle kiss to his palm. The action is intimate, careful, and Lance feels his knees weaken as Nuru’s eyes never once leave his face.  

There’s a slide of tongue. He knows it. Can feel the searing heat as Nuru tightens his grip on both his waist and hand in a possessive manner and nips at a digit with a sly grin. And it’s incredible, really, maybe even a bit unnerving with how quickly Lance feels his mind blank. He leans into the contact in curiosity but feels a part of him recoil at the slick touch because it doesn't feel _right_.  

“You have five seconds.” A voice growled from behind him, snapping them both from the heated moment.

And Lance knows the voice well enough to feel his stomach flip with nerves. Because Keith has already drawn his sword and the anger in his eyes makes him want to flinch. 

Nuru doesn’t seem all that worried though, and takes his time pulling himself away from Lance, might even lick his lower lip before smiling kindly at the other boy. “Red Paladin.” He purrs. “I’d ask that you put away your weapon before you do something unnecessary.” 

Keith takes three purposeful strides forward and tears Lance away from him him with a glare. 

“ _Keith_.” Lance hissed because the way he was acting was childish. It was completely uncalled for. 

Not that Keith thinks so. He just growls at the prince more. “Something unecessary is you touching our sharpshooter.” 

“Your sharpshooter can handle himself.” Nuru said back. 

“He can.” Keith agrees. “But I don’t have to tell you that the princess wouldn’t take kindly to your rather bold advances. She just might think you’re attempting to influence us into certain conditions concerning the alliance.” 

Nuru doesn’t admit to anything but Lance can see the flash of anger in his eyes. “You’d do best to watch the way you speak. I’ve been told your mouth has gotten people hurt before.” 

 _Shit_.

Lance is a bit upset Nuru threw what he told him back in his face, but Keith doesn’t do much else except shield Lance further.

“I don’t like repeating myself. You have five seconds to leave before I lose my patience.”

“Keith, you need to calm down.” Lance orders.

And Keith whirls on him then, cheeks flushed with heated emotion and hurt flickering in his violet eyes. “I’m calm.” He spits. “I am _so_ calm, Lance.”

“Yeah?” Lance snaps, pissed that Keith’s trying him like this. “Cuz you’re acting like a fucking lunatic right now.” 

“Because he’s _touching_ you!” 

Lance jabs a finger in Keith’s chest with a glare. “And who are you to tell him otherwise, huh? You need to stop with this judgmental bullshit, Keith. You’re going to ruin the mission for us.” 

And for the first time, the wellbeing of Voltron seems like the most miniscule thing in Keith’s life. He doesn’t even flinch at the thought of failure. “ _Fuck_ the mission.” He snarls, turning back on Nuru. “And fuck you too. I don’t know what little game you’re playing but I’m sick of it.” 

Nuru narrows his eyes and advances on Keith with a clawed hand. But Lance holds out his own hand  and shoots the prince a glare. 

“I got this, Nuru.” 

The prince looks skeptical but steps back when Lance’s eyes look darker. 

“Sick of what?” Lance snaps. “Sick of what, Keith? Sick of seeing me make friends?” 

“The way he’s touching you isn’t _friendly_ , Lance. It’s possessive and it's suggestive.” 

"Well maybe I’m okay with that!” Lance blurts out.

Keith takes a quick step back as if Lance had slapped him. It probably would have hurt less if he did. And to Lance’s surprise, as if that’s all it took to break Keith’s walls down, a rather insistent line of tear tracks start down Keith’s face. 

Lance didn’t mean it. Not because he’s obviously hurt Keith, just like he feared, but because it was true. He liked Nuru, he did. But sexual desire wasn’t all he wanted out of a person. He just wanted to stick it to Keith, make him nervous. So no, he didn’t mean it. 

“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Keith finally whispered, holding a gloved hand to his forehead with a wobbly smirk. “I don’t even know why I thought.”

“Keith.” Lance whispers back; urgently at this point. 

Keith just wipes at his face and retracts his bayard with a vacant look. “I’m sorry.” He says. “I thought after last night, that _maybe_ I had a chance. But I guess I’ve hurt you too much, huh?” 

Lance feels the world tilt. He wants to reach out and grab Keith, tell him _no_. No, you have a chance. I’m giving you all the time in the world to snag that chance but nothing's going right. 

Except he doesn’t. He stands there as Keith rubs his hand across his nose and looks away like the thought of seeing Lance is too painful. “It’s almost nightfall.” He mumbles. “I’ll head back first.” 

Lance watches Keith trudge back down the slight slope towards the castle looking absolutely defeated. He moves to take chase but a strong hand holds tight at his arm to keep him still. 

“Are you sure it is safe to return?” Nuru asks insistently. 

Lance tugs at the bruising grip with a frown. “Yeah. Yeah, Nuru. Everythings fine but I need to go after-”

“Lance-”

“Nuru, let go of me.” Lance choked. He didn’t want to cry but he was on the verge of balling his eyes out and the last thing he needed was the prince worrying over him like his mom. He finally managed to free himself and swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I’ll be fine, okay? I’ll see you in a little bit.” 

And with that, he takes off down the hill with every intention of catching up to Keith. He’s not sure what it is he’s going to say yet, but Keith was taking this harder than he could have ever imagined. It makes him feel shitty. It makes him feel like, once again, all of this could be avoided if they just _talked_. 

But Shiro get’s to Keith first and Lance misses his opportunity. All he can do now is give his leader a broken look that Shiro takes into quick account before nodding and herding Keith back so they could speak. He’s hoping Shiro can help him. Stop this before things go bad like they did before.

“Why is Keith crying?” Pidge whispers suddenly. Hunk comes up right behind her to shield them from prying eyes and Lance let’s out a wounded sound. 

“He’s _still_ crying?” 

Hunk looks confused. “Still? What do you mean, still crying? Did you guys fight again?” 

“ _No_.” Lance blurts; struggles to breathe around the lump in his throat. “I mean, sort of. I-I hurt him. I didn’t mean to but I did.”  

“Lance, calm down.” 

“Nuru was touching. I wasn’t trying to do anything but he got handsy and I couldn’t _think_ -” 

Pidge shakes her head. “Lance, you’re not making sense. Breathe.” 

“Pidge I thought of _him_.” Lance blurts. Something in his chest sinks and blood rushes to his ears as he drops down to curl around his knees. “I thought of Keith when Nuru was holding me.” He whispers. “I keep fucking this up.” 

Hunk and Pidge look at each other and can only pat at Lance’s back as everyone slowly regroups. Allura doesn’t seem to notice the heavy atmosphere and smiles at them all when she walks out, alliance terms in hand.

“Let’s finish this quickly.” She says. “I’m sure you’re all ready to leave here, yes?” 

No one says anything. Everyone just continues to look between Lance and Keith who are red eyed and shrinking into themselves. 

At this point, getting off this planet was the least of their concern. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Keith took the previous night to heart in more ways than I think Lance expected. Keith isn't really mad at Lance, I feel like he's just hurt that the fear of losing him to someone else is coming true after he got his hopes up. And I know it's like, well, you hurt Lance pretty bad so you kind of deserve this, but Keith deserves a little sympathy. He didn't fly off the deep end like he could've and did come at Nuru with intentions of protecing Lance (and because he was jelly af). And then Nuru went and brought up something that Keith kind of hates himself for. So that was bit dirty of the prince. But once again, they're sort of back at square one. Lance is comfortable with flirting and all, I mean, he's been doing it with Keith, but I think Nuru caught him off guard with his advances. Not saying he wasn't totally down for it, but there was hesitation. And his admition at the end probably explains that hesitation somewhat. But this chapter is kind of a lead in to a more permanent progression in their relationship. So thank god for that, hehe.


	16. Go Get Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note here to apologize for my sudden disappearance. I went on a small trip in the middle of a forest and was unaware that the resort wouldn't have reception/wifi. Like, who does that! And Tuesday I wanted to get this chapter out but I was in the car and all the sudden I couldn't get service so yeah. I'm not dead! I read and loved everyone's comments I just couldn't respond. I'm so sorry. Like, on my knees sorry. I should have given a heads up but those goddamn mountains, I swear. Anyway, I will stay consistent from here on out. Promise.

Keith stops his angry crying sometime between Shiro's unsure pat on the back and Allura's sigh upon their arrival. He can see out of the corner of his eye that Lance has a protective arm wrapped around himself, and when Nuru greets them, ocean blue eyes stay trained on the ground like the prince isn't even there. Which is a bit satisfying, seeing the prince look a bit scorned by the blatant shun. 

If only Keith got Lance to do that _without_ the fighting. Which is a thought that's apparently all you need to have him biting down on his tongue in order to contain a sob. And at that point, the tears come back with a vengeance, forcing him to look away or fear being humiliated in front of everyone. Lance included.

They're quite the sight.

“Princess Allura.” The king says slowly. His eyes touch on each paladin slowly before refocusing on the princess with a slight tilt to his head. “Are you sure you can continue negotiations with the way your team is fairing?”

Keith keeps his hands secured tight behind his back and stiffens under the gaze of both the king _and_ his son. A risky glance Lance’s way shows the other boy isn’t doing much better and the guilt he feels makes him want to break down right then and there. But he’d rather stab himself then let Nuru see him so weak

“Well,” Allura drawls. “It’s my understanding that the current issues amongst my team involve _your_ son, correct?” 

The king taps a clawed finger against his arm rest. “You are. Although last I checked, there was never a rule that said my son couldn’t engage with your members.” 

“But you’re aware that it makes things difficult. As we have seen in this case.” Allura says without budging. 

Keith wants to make a snide comment Nuru’s way but doesn’t have the energy to look up. So he stays right by Shiro’s side, still as a statue.

“Then I must apologize.” The king says. It doesn’t sound genuine, but Allura accepts it with a gracious smile that seems too tight. “It wasn’t my intention to make things hard and have you doubting my honesty. I’m actually quite satisfied with the terms you’ve presented to us.”

“Lovely.” Allura chirps. “If you’d agree, than I can speak with my team about the implications surrounding your protection.” 

The king looks at Nuru and taps at his throne again.

“I’d like to go over some matters with you, however.” He says. “There are things you’ve included that I’m not sure are fitting.” 

Allura nods. “Of course. May I ask what they are?”

It’s Nuru who steps forward with a pleasant smile. Keith thinks about what it would be like to punch in his stupid teeth and watch him bleed.

“Princess, after looking over your terms, my father and I think it best if you could come back a final time and continue with the proceedings.”

“No.” Shiro says for Allura, stepping in front of Keith suddenly. “With all due respect, we’ve been here longer than we were prepared for. The more time we spend working this out, the more time Lotor has to move his army.” 

The king doesn’t even look at Shiro when he speaks. He keeps his eyes trained on Allura as if she were the one that had spoken and not another. “You’re asking me to rush an alliance your father finalized after twenty quintents. Princess, at this point, you’re asking for more than I can give.”

Allura blinks at the king; unfazed despite the hostility in the elders tone. “You and my father built this alliance under different circumstances. You are asking me to leave when there is more than enough time to finalize it. I’m asking you, now, to tell me what it is you have an issue with so that we can finish this.” 

Keith sees the way the king’s shoulders flex, like he’s debating how fast he could get up and smack the girl. And Shiro’s arm whirs to life in preparation as they all stand still. If shit were to go down, Keith would immediately go for Nuru. He’s got a hand over his bayard as they speak, but he would risk being intercepted by the female who cut them down days earlier. She stands in the corner, eyes narrowed on Keith’s form and spear ready. 

“I believe it would be best if I were to speak with you. Alone.” 

Shiro looks at Allura with an objection already on his lips. But the princess merely shrugs and crosses her arms. 

“Fine.” She says. “Paladins. Coran. Leave me while I handle this.”

“ _Allura_.” Shiro whispers; unsure. 

But Allura shakes her head and seats herself at the head of the table, hands crossed, one over the other with a tight smile. She’s losing her patience, that much they can tell.  

The king raises a hand and motions towards the door. “Nuru. Efia. You may leave.”

Keith has to reach out and tug Shiro with him because the elder man looks like he wants to fight the order. But fighting isn’t going to end well for them, so they all shuffle out of the large room in varying states of concern. 

“Alliance or no alliance, we aren’t staying any longer.” Shiro growls beneath his breath. 

The female Yint, Efia, saunters her way past them with a glare and even has the nerve to bump shoulders with their leader. She’s staying within earshot and Keith doesn’t like it. 

“Allura’s probably thinking the same.” Keith says quietly. “You believe me now?” 

Shiro stops a safe distance away from the hut, close enough that if Allura screamed, they could hear, but far enough that they weren’t too obvious. Most of the huts were quiet and those still out were hurrying their way into their homes. The sun must be coming up soon. 

“You think the king is trying to manipulate us somehow?” Shiro whispers. He keeps his eyes trained on the hut while Keith watches Coran speak to Hunk, Pidge, and Lance. 

Lance, who seems a bit dazed and inattentive. Lance, whose glancing at Keith every now and then like he wants to say something but can’t. 

And Keith feels the same way. 

“I think he’s trying to haggle Allura for a reason. And the prince isn’t helping much either.” Is all Keith says.

Shiro crossed his arms and leaned back against a rather large rock formation with a huff. “Since we got a minute. Wanna tell me what’s going on?” 

Because even though Keith knew Lance had been chasing after him, the thought of the other boy seeing how humiliated he was just wasn’t something that was going to happen. So he did the first thing he could think to do. He hid away in Shiro’s chest like a child so that nobody would bother him during his little break down. 

“I found Nuru throwing himself all over Lance in the jungle.” Keith grits out with a wince. 

And Shiro ducks his head a bit to catch the expression on Keith’s face before he exhales a near silent, “ _Oh_.” 

Keith just nods his head in agreement. “Not that it matters anymore. I fucking blew it.” 

“Maybe it was nothing, Keith.” Shiro tries. 

But Keith knows, deep down, that whatever hope he had was gone. “It wasn’t _nothing_ , Shiro.” He chokes. “You didn’t see the way Lance was looking at the guy. I’ve never seen him so-so”

“Happy?”

“ _Content_.” Keith gets out, feeling the invasive pressure of sadness once more. “He looked star struck. Like the guy gave him the world and more. I don’t know if I could ever make him look that way.” 

Shiro hums and flashes a glare Efia’s way. She’s twirling her spear and winking at him with a knowing smirk that makes Shiro’s arm lock up in frustration. The man only ever got like this with Slav around, so it was a nice distraction watching him lose his cool.

“I’m giving up.” Keith muttered. 

Shiro stopped miming the action of a bitch slap and looked at Keith in shock. “What? Keith, you said Nuru was just grabbing at Lance.” 

“But Lance _liked_ it. He likes being around the guy, will probably find some girl on the next planet to like, and I won’t ever have the clean slate they have.” He snaps; mad at himself. Mad at Nuru. Even mad at Shiro for giving him false hope like he was doing. Keith needed to be realistic. He needed to understand that, “I won’t ever have a second chance with him. Do you honestly believe that he would let me in like that? After everything I’ve done?” 

When Shiro just stares at him, he grows desperate.

“ _Do you_ , Shiro?” 

“I didn’t.” Shiro finally breathes. “I really didn’t, Keith. But I know Lance. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. The things he says when you’re not there to hear it.” 

Keith laughs, stares down at his hands and tries to get a handle on the tears working their way into his eyes. 

“I think,” Shiro starts gently, “That you need to tell Lance how you feel. You two are too out of sync all the time. Everything you say forces Lance to spend hours decoding, and assuming, and it’s not working. You know that. We all know that.” 

“I can’t.”

Shiro grabs Keith. “You have to.” He says. “Keith, you _have to_. You need to be honest for him and for yourself. Otherwise, you and Lance won’t ever figure this out. You’ll continue to hurt and be hurt until eventually, the two of you won’t have a chance.”

“We already don’t have a chance.” Keith mutters. “I lost that chance the second you dropped us off here. Now Nuru and Lance will probably get married or something.”

Shiro snorts, startling Keith from his pity party. “Yeah. Pretty sure Nuru would have a shot if he was seven inches shorter.”

And that means nothing. It's just a funny joke on Shiro's part that the older man must find absolutely hilarious because he's still smiling to himself when Keith freezes; his head shooting up with a careful “ _What?_ ” slipping through his lips.

Shiro shrugs and looks down at him with a knowing expression that pisses Keith off because _he_ doesn’t know. “Lance said he wasn’t sure about him. Was actually pretty adamant on Nuru _not_ being his type. Said shorter guys were more his thing.” 

“So Lance doesn’t want to fuck Nuru?” Keith blurts. 

Shiro goes from all smiles to uncomfortable grimaces. He takes in a deep breath and narrows his eyes in concentration before saying, “Well,” and clearing his throat. “He didn’t really say he ever w-wanted to, to do things like that. With him.” 

Keith runs a hand through his hair and grabs at Shiro’s shoulder. “Lance doesn’t _like_ Nuru?” He repeats carefully.

Shiro’s starting to get frustrated. “No, Keith. Lance said he wasn’t his type-”

“Holy shit.” Keith gasps. “I can still fix this. Oh my shit, why didn’t you-” 

Shiro’s blinking at him like a deer in a headlight and seems a bit confused until, like a puzzle,everything starts clicking into place. 

One, Keith has been jealous of a guy that didn’t even stand a chance in Lance’s eyes. Two, Keith went and got all pissed and upset for nothing, so maybe he still fucked this up pretty bad. And three, Nuru was gonna eat his fist before he even thought about leaving this worthless planet. “I need to go.” Keith says suddenly. He needs to tell Lance he’s sorry for flipping out. He needs to tell Nuru to eat shit because there was no way in hell he was letting him touch Lance again. Not when Lance didn’t see him that way.

“Keith.” Shiro grabs him. “Go get him.”

Keith grins at him and pushes away from his leader in a hurry.

“Hey,” Pidge starts as Keith jogs to where they were all huddled. “You got some serious explaining to do, man. We trusted you and then you went-”

“Shut up.” He snapped. “Where did Lance go?” 

Hunk raised an eyebrow and pointed to Coran who continued twisting his mustache patiently. 

“Oh!” The Altean said. Keith was already getting deja vu. “The prince wrangled him away a few dobashes ago. Figured we be here a tick but told them to come back soon.”

Keith turned on Hunk and Pidge who both, once again, raised their hands in defense like, sorry man, we didn’t know. 

“I give you two _one job!_ ” Keith snarls. “God fucking-” He spit, kicking the dirt before placing his hands on his hips and staring off in the direction Coran pointed to. “I’m gonna find him. You two, watch that one over there. Make sure she doesn’t antagonize Shiro anymore than she already has.” 

Hunk nods and watches Keith take off in a dead sprint towards the thick jungle without another word.

“I’m so over this.” Pidge muttered. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know how frustrating Keith can be sometimes? If he just said what he was thinking in the first place, none of this would have happened! And where was Shiro with this juicy gossip like, ten years ago? He could've saved all this drama from happening if he told Keith all Lance's secrets. Geez. It's like my children haven't learned anything. But I think it's pretty cool that Keith is taking the reigns for once. It's not up to Lance to come to Keith and talk things out anymore. Keith's just gonna have to go after his man and get deep with his feelings. Because Shiro's right. Lance, although not afraid to admit Nuru was hot, wasn't head over heels for the guy. And I'm really liking the mixed feelings on Nuru. You either love him or you hate him and it's awesome. Hehe. We're getting there guys. Lance and Keith have to come together at some point and I think Keith has got this on lock.


	17. Crash Into Me

Lance stumbles more times than he can count as Nuru leads him a little ways away from where Allura was probably throwing down with the king. And it’s not that he’s clumsy, it’s just he’s got a lot on his mind at the moment and Nuru’s constant flow of speech was starting to get on his nerves. Plus, he couldn’t see the goddamn ground with how dark it was and would absolutely go off if he had to catch himself one more fucking time.

“You’re distracted.” 

Lance blinked up at Nuru and realized they had stopped in a small clearing filled with those spatially aware space flowers. Their thick petals gave off enough light to see the glow of Nuru’s cat eyes, but the surrounding jungle was nothing but dull outlines littered with small balls of varying illuminated color. 

“I’m sorry.” Lance sighed. “I was trying to listen, I just-”

“It’s the red one, isn’t it?” Nuru says softly. 

And Lance doesn’t really like the way he’s prying. Doesn’t like the way he brings up Keith when he already knew how the boy made him feel. “I don’t want to talk about it.” 

Nuru blinks at him and Lance looks away. “Because it pains you?”

“Because it’s not your business.” Lance snaps. 

Nuru leans back a bit and the whites of his eyes glow bright for a short moment; startled by the outburst. And Lance doesn’t mean to be pissy to Nuru. That will just make him feel worse. But he can’t help but want to leave and go back to where he could see how Keith was doing. See if there was any possibility of talking to him while they had time.

Instead, he sucks in a calming breath and wraps his arms around himself to hold in whatever composure he has left. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell, I just. I don’t know what we’re doing out here and I really want to be with my team right now.”

“Ah.” Nuru murmures. “I can take you back if you’d like.” 

And Lance wants to take the prince up on the offer, but he also doesn’t want to seem rude when he was very obviously dragged out here for a reason. So he let’s out another sigh and tries for an encouraging smile that seems to put Nuru at some sort of ease. 

“It’s fine.” He says. “What was it that you wanted to show me?” 

Lance let Nuru take his hands without complaint. He feels a lack of enthusiasm as the prince walks him to what feels like the center of the open space and settles him in a rather boring position that doesn’t raise his energy in the slightest. Maybe he was missing something.

“I’ve been keeping this preserved for some time now.” Nuru murmured. “And I felt like it’d be a good way to start my apology to you.” 

Which is weird. The mention of an apology is a bit sudden and when he tries to ask about it, he’s cut off by a delicate whistle that echoes throughout the jungle in a soft manner. Whatever the prince wanted to say now had caught his interest. Especially when the flowers start to change their shade with the tune of Nuru’s song. 

“I owe you an apology.” Nuru repeats gently. “For provoking your friend and causing such a mess between you two. Had I known he held such feelings for you, I wouldn’t have done what I did.” 

Lance tries hard to focus his attention on Nuru but the colors are fascinating. Like he’s caught in the lava lamp his older brother had before he broke it. And by the time he’s able to really tune into what the prince is saying, Nuru has gathered him close and cupped at his face with a warm hand. 

“This was my mother's treasure.” He murmured. “I see a strength in you that my father saw in her.” 

Lance blinked up at him and gathered enough wits to place a steady hand on his chest as a protective barrier. “It’s beautiful.” Is all he can think to say. Because he get’s why Nuru brought him out here now, but it’s rather odd when negotiations were being had just a few yards away. 

“She thought so too.”

Lance bites his lower lip and glances around at the swaying flowers instead of Nuru’s curious eyes. “Your father seemed upset.” 

The prince nods, let’s go when Lance wiggles his way free from his heavy arms. “My father has changed some. He’s not once been the same since my mother was killed.” 

The flowers glow red and Lance glances at the prince. “Killed.” He repeated quietly. 

Nuru nods again and finds interest in the tall grass tickling his calves. “When Altea fell, Zarkon began destroying all ties the Empire had to ensure it would not rise again. My father tried to keep our people safe from the Galra’s advances, but his efforts got in the way of Zarkon’s stride for power. My father’s punishment was payed in the form of my mother’s life.”

Lance gulped and took to staring at his feet. He’d seen more than his fair share of planets ravished by Zarkon and the scars left behind. That being said, it never got easier hearing the horror stories told by those who survived to tell them. So he whispers an “I’m sorry.”; meaning every word as he watches Nuru caress the plant’s leaves. 

“There’s no reason to be.” Nuru said suddenly. He turned to Lance and watched him with a heaviness he couldn’t describe. “The Galra have been winning this war for as long as I can remember. I tasted loss only a few years after birth and I've not once forgotten it. That's part of the reason why your loyalty to Voltron interests me." Nuru cocked his head and pursed his lips as if in thought. And the flowers shivered, leaned away from his open fingers as he stepped closer to Lance. "We try to build bonds. We create these alliances. Cherish _friendships_. And the people you love still get hurt.” 

He feels it then. It was that same feeling of _dread_ that coiled deep in his belly back when his leg had been blown open for all to see. And it's there now. Weighted and obvious as he looks at Nuru with wide eyes. The desire to run is strong, like a violent pull that almost has him stepping back on impulse. But Nuru catches the twitch in his muscle and leans closer. 

“Don’t think badly of me, Lance. I’ve watched too many people die, too many people give their life for a cause that’s not worthing fighting for anymore. What good is fighting if you will _never_ come out on top?”

“Stop.” Lance whispered.

“We had to.” Nuru states, as if for the sake of convincing himself instead of Lance. “The Galra will come. They will come and they will bleed us dry unless we give them a reason not to. We can give them a reason now. Our planet can survive if-”

“You hand us over on a fucking silver platter?” Lance spits, suddenly aware of what it was Nuru was implying. “And what then? You think Lotor will leave your planet alone?”  

“He will if we prove our loyalty. If we show him that we were of use.” 

Lance needs to find a way out of here and he needs to find a way now. If what Nuru was saying was true, then there was a chance they’d been practically sitting on their asses while Lotor sent who knows how many fleets their way. It was no fucking wonder the king kept asking them to stick around. And of course Keith had to be the one right about it all along. 

 _Fuck_.

“Nuru, you have to listen to me.” Lance hissed. “Lotor won’t honor your actions the way you think he will. Whatever you were told was a lie.” 

Nuru shakes his head. “Lance-” 

“ _No_.” Lance snarls. “Listen to me, Nuru. You need to _listen_. This gold star you’re searching for is bullshit, it’s all bullshit. If you think that Lotor won’t take one look at the resources you have and tear you apart, then you’re _wrong_. You’re trusting in the wrong people. You’re trusting in your mother's _executioner_.”

The crack of skin to skin contact makes the flowers pulse a pale white as Lance’s head snaps to the side in one quick motion. He feels the trickle of blood from where Nuru’s claws had caught his cheek and can’t help the way his breath catches in his throat from sheer surprise.

“You’d do best to watch how you speak to me before I do something I regret.” Nuru whispered darkly. “I am your lifeline now, Lance. I am the difference between a painful death and mercy for surrendering without a fight. You’re lucky I saw something in you that piqued my interest. Otherwise, you’d be a dead man walking. Just like the rest of your team.” 

Nuru goes to reach for him, but Lance is quick to snatch at the thick wrist and bare down on the bone until the prince is flinching in discomfort. 

“ _Don’t fucking touch me_.” Lance spat; tone cold.

“The Galra are winning this war, Lance. They are winning because they are strong, and no matter how many battles you fight, they will always come back with more forces, more allies, and more power. But I can protect you.”

“I don’t need your protection.” Lance snarled, tossing the prince’s hand to the side with a glare.

He needs to leave. At this point, Nuru was not only a threat to him, but a threat to the team, and a threat to _his Keith_. And threats like that had to be eliminated. They just had to. No more emotions will go into this conversation. Shiro taught him how to distance himself from feeling things like sympathy when your life was on the line. Because the enemy held nothing of the sort for you in return. 

“I’m leaving.” Lance said carefully, eyes dark with determination. “And you are going to move out of my way.” 

“I can’t do that.” Nuru murmured grimly.

And Lance has to accept this. Has to accept that no matter what happens, he cannot let Nuru take him when he says,“Then I will move you.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Lance.” 

That’s a lie. Nuru is a liar. The second he pulls his bayard, the prince lunges at him. He tries to force himself to relax so his body can take the least amount of damage with two hundred plus pounds barreling into him. Last thing he needed was a broken ankle, so he hooked an arm, one under Nuru's shoulder, the other over his back, and locked his hands as they went crashing to the ground. The impact knocks the air from his lungs but he forces himself to work through the shock as he gets a knee up into what he hopes is Nuru's sternum, and  _pushes._ Doesn't stop until the heavy weight grows unsteady and the prince flips up over his head with a grunt. 

His bayard was knocked free in the scuffle and he searches wildly for it as Nuru struggles to his feet. The idle gap he created is closing and it's closing quickly. He needs to get his bayard and run before Nuru catches him off guard like that again. 

And this planet, although shitty, must be aware of what's going on in a sense. Because during his frantic search, a glow of blue starts sudden and strong around where he dropped his weapon. The ring of flowers pulse in a thrum of  _here, here_ , and he practically throws himself at them. 

Lance flops back on his ass with his gun ready and can barely suck in a gasp when a fist catches him in the face and lays him flat. The world darkens, his body desperately wants to go lax but his mind is yelling at him to stay awake. It fights the shadows closing in and forces his eyes wide as Nuru straddles his waist and holds him down.

He needs to breathe. He needs to keep his vision clear so he can keep a visual of where his target is. Which is useless. He wasn’t made for close range fighting and Nuru already had him pinned. He knows after endless nights of training with Shiro and Keith that he couldn’t last in hand to hand combat. And the increasing pressure on his inner wrist has his hand spasming and dropping his bayard to the ground with a heartbreaking _thud_.

“You should sleep.” Nuru whispered; face scrunched in pain. Like this was hurting him. 

And he takes a clawed hand, trails it up the length of Lance's chest before a row of warm fingers circle his neck in a thick noose and hold tight around his throat without budging. His initial fear is that the prince will simply crush his vertebrae. But instead, an insistent squeezing has him clawing at the thick arm and gasping for air in sudden realization.

“N-Nuru-” He choked, blue eyes tearing up. 

“Just sleep, Lance.” 

And _no_. No, he won’t. He needs to get up and fight. Get up and tell his team that there was a storm coming and they needed to get the hell out of here before it was too late. But his lungs aren’t taking in enough air and his lips are turning blue, blue, blue. Blue like his eyes. Blue like his suit. Blue like his lion.

But he wants to be red. Red with passion. Red with life. He wants to be red with _Keith_.

He can’t breathe. 

He wants to breathe. 

Nuru is hushing at him. You’re almost there, Lance. Just a bit more. 

 _Let him breathe_.

The pressure let’s up suddenly, in a drag of rough skin that leaves him huffing up at the sky with no real air entering his lungs. Just pitiful little gasps that drag in and out without use. And then there are gloved hands cupping at his face while a rather unsightly mullet obscures his vision. 

It’s Keith’s mullet. 

Keith’s here.

“I’m here.” Keith confirms with a gasp. “Breathe, Lance. I’m right here, okay? Just breathe.”

Lance scrambles then, to grasp at where Keith’s hands are holding his cheeks and finally manages to suck in a strangled breath. It’s not much, not nearly enough to clear his vision completely, but it helps it grow less fuzzy. 

“K-keith” He choked out. 

“Right here.” Keith reassured. “I’m right here, Lance.” 

And Lance can see that. Can feel Keith’s shaky breaths as they whisper along his lashes in heated gusts. Can hear the way his heart pounds out against the tips of Keith’s fingers. Questions, quietly, why Keith was there in the first place. Especially after what Lance had said to him that morning. 

“Because I care.” Keith huff's out, looking over his shoulder for a short moment before returning his concerned gaze back on Lance’s confused one. “I care, idiot. I’ll always come for you.”

Lance stares at Keith and feels heat crawl up the length of his neck and color the tips of his ears. Which is a good sign. He’s obviously getting enough oxygen now to have such efficient blood circulation. And he’s growing increasingly aware of the gloved hands gently wiping the damp strands of hair from his forehead. 

“Were you stalking me?” Lance blurts. 

Keith stops his soothing ministrations with a look of absolute horror. And when that look passes, it’s replaced with a frustration so intense, he too starts flushing with color. A beautiful color, really. 

“ _That’s_ what you wanna talk about right now?” Keith explodes. “How about we talk about how stupid it was for you to go off on your own with that creep. _Again_!”

Keith stares at Lance like he’s waiting for an answer but it takes a while to have the words sinking in. But once they do, he feels a sudden burst of energy light in his chest because why the hell was _he_ the one getting yelled at right now? Like he didn’t just get damn near strangled to death a few seconds ago. And he knows it must be the adrenaline, that only Keith could get him this heated in a matter of seconds, but it’s enough of a spike that he swats at Keith with a dizzy glare.

“How was I supposed to know he was the goddamn strangler!” Lance snapped, coughing on the last part. He wiped the tears from his face but made no move to get up because he didn’t trust his strength. 

Keith seems fine with that. If he couldn’t get up, then he could finish this once and for all. The surrounding air was charged with impending energy. As if it didn’t know whether it was negative or positive and was just serving to make things more tense

Keith throws his arms out at his sides and stares at Lance incredulously. “What do you think I’ve been telling everyone since we got here?” He hissed. “I’m not _insane_!”

“Well you sure act like it sometimes.” Lance griped. “You’re not very believable when you’re going off on the only guy that’s been nice to me in forever.” 

“I only went off because he was _touching_ you!” Keith shouted. 

Lance just kicks at the other boys feet. “People touch people, Keith! And It’s not like we were having sex.”

“Well you looked pretty damn happy to have him all over you when I ran into you both!” Keith barks. 

And Lance feels his face flush completely pink before he screams, “That’s because I was thinking of _you_.” and turns to pout at the ground as his voice echoes through the vines. 

He can literally hear Keith’s brain crash. 

Nuru is bleeding from the mouth somewhere to their left. 

And Lance isn’t sure where this is going anymore. He’s not even sure he’s had the time to be scared of what Nuru did to him. Or if he even thanked Keith at all for saving his life. Because he obviously did. Save his life. Something Lance was in need of a lot lately.

“I was thinking about you.” Lance says again, quietly and towards the flowers. They pulse a faint pink in response. Pink as his cheeks as they sway around his body. “He was touching me and I tried to envision what it would be like if it were you.” 

Because Lance hadn’t been sure before. He had even used Nuru as a means to get over Keith when hating him didn’t work. Tried to flirt and be flirted with, engage with others and get his mind off the boy who for some reason, never seemed to leave his thoughts. Even when he had another’s arms wrapped tight around him like he was delicate and worth something. But it wasn’t Nuru that made his heart skip a beat. It never had been.

Keith blinks a few times and opens his mouth as if to say something before snapping it closed again. Then he tries one more time. “Y-You still have feelings for me? L-Like that?” 

Lance wants to hit him but settles for a soft look that’s far too open. “They never stopped.” 

And there. It was all out there. If this was all they could ever manage, a relationship filled with miscommunication and anger, than Lance would have to accept that. He would have to accept that he was just as at fault as Keith was. It took two to tango. Or two to destroy a relationship. And he’s not sure why, although deep down he does, but he braces himself for the worst. Braces himself for a fight that never comes because Keith looks... _soft_.

“Can I love you, Lance?” Keith asks in the quiet of the surrounding flowers. They all jump a little and sway so they’re leaning towards Lance, as if waiting for his answer. Their petals glow a bright blue making it easier for Lance to see Keith's face clearly as he stares down at his feet. “C-Can I ask you, to love me back?” Keith says even quieter, finally looking up at Lance. 

And he’s not sure what it is but something heavy is lifted from his stomach and makes him feel light in ways he never thought possible over this past month. Because Lance wants that. He wants that a lot. Wanted that when they first spoke. Wanted it desperately on the nights when his thoughts outdid his mom and stole hours of his sleep. Wanted it, even, on the days when Keith hurt him. 

Wants it now. 

Wants it _forever_. 

“You’re not asking for much, Mullet.” Lance choked; tears this time. Not hands. 

And Keith falls to his knees with a gasp and yanks Lance against him so they're nothing but a pile of weak limbs and desperate hands. Lance hides in the safety of Keith's chest, something he's waited for for a long time as Keith runs his fingers through his hair and holds him impossibly close. He wants to cry. Clambers to hold onto Keith as his heart does the little skip and makes him laugh a bit.  

It's only when the sound of a distant impact shakes the ground that they jerk away to look up. The flowers take up a glow of bright red before closing up and forcing them to call on their flashlights in hopes of seeing anything. Lance stares on with wide eyes. 

“The Galra.” He whispered as the hum of engines grew louder. “Everyone-”

“We need to get back.” Keith said, reaching down and helping Lance stand. “Was it King Oka?”

Lance nodded and went to grab where his bayard had fallen. His hand was still sore, but there wasn’t time to whine about it. The castle was defenseless which meant their lions were defenseless. 

“Nuru said it was to protect his people. They’ve been in contact with them the entire time.” 

Keith swore beneath his breath before taking a quiet moment to look Lance up and down. “We’ll talk about this when we get the fuck off this planet, deal?” 

“Deal.” Lance said. 

"You okay to fight?"

Lance nodded again. "Just watch my back, Mullet." 

Keith smiles and reaches out for Lance's hand without a moment's hesitation before making sure to slow his pace as they run back to the castle. Lance is keeping up but it's still a bit hard to breathe and his muscles are sore. He just needs to pull through until they finished this shitty mission and finally had time to heal.  

And it's a surreal experience as a trail of flowers brave enough to light their way open up in a glow of deep purple while a chorus of explosions sing across the earth in a blanket of fire and debris. The meaning isn’t lost to them; might even make Keith smirk as the castle comes into view. 

It’s a light feeling that can only last so long when you’re in the middle of a war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my blue boys' birthday and I give him the gift of love after so many hardships! And I'm sorry about Nuru. I did notes on how this story would go and I wrote down "Nuru is a backstabbing hoe." so technically he had to portray that. Some of you had the bad vibe. Nice job catching it! And if you were really rooting for him, I'm sorryyyy. He was really only a trigger for Keith to finally grow a pair and confess to Lance. And I know nothing is going to be perfect. That's why one of the chapters was called Kintsugi. These two are mending their cracks by growing closer and building upon a broken foundation. But Keith has come through and even saved Lance's life. That's saying a lot at this point. But shits about to go down now. This story ain't over yet!  
> ~I don't know what I'm doing with my life at this point. You're comments tho. Those are everything. Give me more.


	18. When I Wake

“Can we get to our lions like this?”

Keith came to an unsteady halt off to the left of him and stared up at where the castle had raised its partical barrier. Which meant either Coran or Allura had made it inside. Maybe even both. And that lack of information is exactly what had him shoving his head into his helmet and flicking his communicator on. 

“Guys, Keith and I are outside the castle. What’s happening?”

Lance can hear the unpleasant grunts from Shiro’s end of the line and looks at Keith as if the other boy will have answers. They have no idea where the rest of the team is, the castle has blocked their entry, and the Galra have managed to land just a few yards away from their location. If they continued to stand around like they were currently doing, this was going to be a complete shitfest.

“Where have you two _been_!” Pidge shouted, followed by a slew of curses. “The second you two go running off, shit always goes down.”

Lance looks at Keith and sees the oncoming fleet of soldiers headed their way. “Now’s _not_ the time, Pidge. Shiro, we need an update.”

“And a plan.” Keith cut in, hands wrapped around his bayard in preparation. 

Shiro says something none of them catch and Lance can see now that their leader had managed to get into his lion before the barrier went up. And it seems like, once again, Keith and Lance are the only two going head to head with the fleet on foot. Because from this vantage point, they could see where Pidge and Hunk's Lions were working their way up into the atmosphere in tandem. 

“The king was working with Lotor the whole time.” Shiro huffed. Lance wants to say _duh_ but bites his tongue given the situation. “Right now, I need you and Keith to guard the castle and make sure they don’t penetrate the barrier. Pidge and I will work on disabling the incoming ships while Hunk covers any stray Sentry's headed your way. Tell me I can count on you two to work together.” 

“Since when have we not.” Lance smirked

Keith rolled his eyes and faced the incoming enemy line with a glare. “We’re on it.” He says, glancing at Lance. “Think you can show me those skills, Sharpshooter?” 

Lance scoffs and has enough balls to saunter in front of Keith and kneel at his side before leaning into the scope of his bayard. “Well since you asked so nicely.” He purred. 

The first shot hits it’s target dead on. The soldier trips and drops to the floor creating a sort of speed bump that get’s under the foot of the unlucky soldiers not looking out for their fallen comrade. And despite his consistent _and_ persistent line of fire, the pace the fleet has set means Keith has to take a few purposeful strides forward and accept the brunt of impact as the soldiers close in on them. 

It’s hard. 

Lance has to watch where he shoots as he stumbles his way back to increase his range of fire all while trying to aim at any sentry's getting too close to Keith. But Keith is _fast_. Faster than he’s seen him move in a long time. The blade of his sword cuts into Galra and Sentry alike without mercy and drop them in small groups as Lance takes out those further back. And Keith continues to advance on the ones too close for Lance to hit while Lance stays posted up just a few feet away, knocking out the scattered waves of enemy lines so Keith won’t have to deal with as many with only hand to hand.  

They’re beautiful, really. From a birdseye view, he’s sure the others are watching them in awe as they work around each other, so very conscious of the other’s body, and cut through the Galran advances like they’re nothing. 

Lance grins. He grins and hooks an arm around Keith’s own to give the boy the much needed momentum to propel him forward and impale a line of sentries getting too close for comfort. A catch and release system that worked both ways when things were getting tight. 

And Lance is _fine_. He’s keeping him and Keith safe all while protecting the castle like he should be. But the sudden shock of heat that hits close to his hip makes his muscles lock up and eyes widen in response to the deep feeling of terror that saturates his body and forces him still. The Galra sneers at him, pissed he missed his shot and advances with heavy steps until he swings out a thick arm. He misses again, but only just barely. Lance ducks back in a numb daze as the fear of bleeding out, of _dying_ , sinks into his very being and has him breathing heavily in a panic. 

It’s a hidden trauma never dealt with. They had no intentions of putting him through a battle this intense until he was ready. And right now, he was so very far from ready. Especially after being nearly choked to death almost an hour back. 

“Lance!” Keith called, immediately noticing the way Lance was scraping by under the heavy assault. “Lance, what’s wrong!” 

“I don’t know.” Lance blurted, swinging around and shooting at anything that moved. “I’m fucking scared.” He gasped. “I can’t, Keith. I-I’m not ready. You’ll get hurt-”

Keith dropped the squirming Galra in his grasp and crowded against Lance, his violet eyes burning with... _something_ as he cupped Lance’s cheek and pressed their foreheads close. “I trust you. Lance, I trust _you_. Watch my back Sharpshooter, and we’ll be home before you know it.” 

Lance sucked in a small breath and raised his bayard weakly to shoot the stumbling galra poised to attack. “I’m watching you, Samurai.” 

Keith nods, turns back and throws himself into the dwindling crowd as Lance makes good on his promise. He shoots, and shoots, and shoots as the ships above explode in a rain of metal when Hunk cuts through them. Whatever the king had been hoping for was obviously falling flat. And Lance holds in a laugh because once again, Voltron would come out on top and prove to everyone that they were strong. 

Stronger than they thought. Stronger than Lotor’s influence. Stronger than-

Lance’s bayard flies from his hand and smacks against the particle barrier before he even registers the bloody wound separating the flesh of his skin. He stares, dumbly, at the clean divot in his hand and watches blood pool through his glove and drip to the dirt in a steady line of warm crimson. 

“ _You wretched human_.” The voice spat. 

Lance looked up at where Nuru was stalking towards him, a glowing wire coiled tight around his fingers. His blood had dipped the glinting metal in the pale moonlight and had him stumbling back in surprise. Because it’s with a shock of realization that Keith hadn’t killed Nuru. Not that he wanted that, but there was a fleeting feeling of relief knowing they had left this psycho out in the jungle dead. Well, not dead. Nuru was very much alive, and Lance was trying to seek yet another exit as he was bullied back against the barrier. 

“I offer you a chance to _live_.” The prince snarled. “I bless you with an opportunity that my father thought was pointless of me to even _entertain_. And yet you turn me away? After everything I’ve done for you.” 

Lance immediately opts for protective cover and raises his arms in hopes that the armor will take the incoming blow until he can flee. And Nuru sneers, holds his hand high to slash away at Lance only for a blur of red to cross their vision and the clang of metal on metal to cut through their heavy breathing.

“Back off.” Keith growled. 

Nuru’s glare only seemed to darken as he stared at where the line of his whip had wrapped tight around the base of Keith’s sword. It’s a smart move, Lance thinks. Another move Lance is grateful for.  

But a harsh tug is really all it takes to have the sword flying to the side as Nuru rips it from Keith’s fingers, leaving them defenseless. Both of them were winded, up against a bloodthirsty prince, and in the middle of a war that they had been winning just _seconds_ ago. 

The only good news is that Hunk was busying himself with taking out the rest of the fleet that made it to the ground, so it was just them and Nuru. 

“You should be grateful to me.” Nuru hissed. “If not for what I’ve done, you wouldn’t be breathing right now, _Paladin_.”

“Fuck off, Nuru.” Keith growed. “Look around you. What could you have possibly done for Lance that would require his thanks?” He snapped. “You betrayed us. You betrayed him. And you betrayed your people.” 

“Silence!” Nuru screeched. “Because of you, there will be no redemption for my people. You’ve _ruined_ us!”

“You ruined yourself.” Lance snarled. 

And Nuru’s eyes glowed impossibly bright as he raised his hand and brought the whip down with an ear splitting _crack_.  

Lance expects pain. He’s expecting a lot of things. But all that registers are the strong arms holding tight around his waist and shoving him down, down, down. Down until his back slips against the barrier and he’s seated in the dirt with a confused sound.

“Keith?” He asks. Because the boy looks angry. His cheeks are flushed with exertion and his lower lip is caught between his teeth as another crack rocks his body. “Keith!” 

“Don’t move.” Keith managed as another blow jolted him forward. But he didn’t waver. He stayed curled over Lance in a protective overhang as the prince brought his arm down again, and again, and again, until Lance reached out and found Keith’s sides slick with blood. 

The suit was torn to shreds. His jet pack was sparking; ruined by the assault. 

And Keith wouldn’t move _out of the fucking way_. 

“Not yet.” He huffs, a brutal lash causing him to curl lower and whimper quietly. The sight alone is enough to have tears spilling down his face as he shouts for the prince to stop. Shouts at Keith to move because he’s going to die and Lance can _help_.

He wants to help. 

“Keith! Keith, _move!_ ” Lance reached up to cup at Keith’s face with horror engraved in his eyes. “He’s _killing_ you, Keith! Let me help!” He screams. “ _Keith!_ ” 

“Bayard.” Keith gasped. His face was pale as he glanced to his left and motioned for where Lance’s weapon had fallen. It’s close enough for him to reach out and snatch up, but the blows keep coming and Keith is losing fast. 

“I’m gonna move.” Keith slurred. “Shoot ‘im.” 

Keith sucked in a thick breath and angled his body off to the left just enough to cause the next and final blow to bounce off his phased shield and crack against Nuru’s face with a snap. The shield dissipates, and the wide opening Keith has created gives Lance just enough time for him to hold up his bayard and greet Nuru with a cold stare. 

“ _Fuck you._ ” Lance hissed before firing straight at the prince's chest and watching him rock back with the force of the impact. 

Nuru’s body falls flat with nothing but a gust of dirt to show for it, and Keith slumps against his side as the sounds of distant explosions fill the empty silence. 

“Nice shot.” Keith whispered somewhere against his elbow.

Lance wants to move him, can't do much else but gather the boy close and try to stay calm. But the criss crossed lines of torn flesh are weeping enough blood that it freaks him out. More than freaks him out. He’s panicking again, and Keith’s just smiling up at him in a dazed wonder. 

“Role reversal right here.” He jokes. 

And Lance has to laugh because surprisingly, he hadn’t been the one making light of a deadly situation last time. But leave it to Keith to take on that role. Leave it to Keith to go die right after they finally managed to have a mutual bonding moment. 

“Allura.” Lance blurts into his communicator. “Allura, I need a pod. Keith’s down.” 

“You two,” Pidge swears as another explosion rings out from above them. 

“I’m taking the barrier down.” Allura cut in before Shiro could ram him with questions. “Coran is readying a pod.”

Lance ignores the rest of Shiro’s concerned word vomit in favor of putting all his attention into Keith and holding him tight so his back doesn’t marinate in the muddy ground. It’s safe to say Keith took the brunt of around twenty lashes. _Deep lashes._ Lashes that tore into muscle and maybe got close enough to his spinal cord to be of concern. But there’s a slip of a smile on his face as he stares up at Lance quietly. 

“Keith,” Lance says; urgently enough. “Keith, don’t die.”

Keith huffs out a laugh and winces. “I’ve been through worse, Lance.” He murmurs. 

Lance smacks at his cheek gently to keep those violet eyes open. Allura’s got the barrier down and he can see Coran sprinting his way to them. He just needs Keith conscious so he knows he’s okay. 

“Stay awake, Keith.” 

“I’m just napping.” Keith whispers.

“Just talk to me.” Lance grinds out. 

And he knows it’s useless to panic. But he still feels an overwhelming sense of dread coil deep in his chest as Coran eases the boy out of his arms and heaves him over a shoulder to keep the pressure off his wounds. 

Keith will live. He was right when he said he’d been through worse, but it doesn’t make it any less scary. Doesn’t stop Lance from crying the entire walk back to the infirmary. Doesn’t stop him from staring at Keith’s vitals even when they show stability.

Does absolutely nothing to stop him from curling up at the base of Keith’s pod, and waiting each and every second until his mullet came out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I think we're reaching that point of closure, guys. Nuru is finally gone. I hope to have Allura actually throwing down with the king at some point, just cuz I want her to defend her boys in a badass way. And a round of applause for Keith because I wish I had a man that took a beating like that for me. Real strong power couple vibes right now. Haha. But next chapter, or a final chapter after that will really tie everything together. We've had more angst than I thought possible in this story, and I don't want to miss out on the opportunity for fluff. And kissing...So yeah. I'm glad we got to see some of Lance's possible PTSD from his previous fight. And Keith keeping him grounded like that really made my heart stop. It's the little things that give me intense hope for these two. But I'm already feeling bummed that this story is almost over! What am I going to do!  
> ~Write more stories, duh...


	19. When A Mullet Steals Your Heart

Allura stood with her arms crossed tight over her chest and a glare to her expression that made Hunk gulp and even Shiro shrink back just a little. He’d learned it was best to let the girl finish her tirade before stepping in to console her. 

And right now?

Right now Allura was _pissed_. 

Beyond pissed. Livid. In a rage. The list goes on, and on, and on. And King Oka would have to suffer through the rampage on his own, with Efia by his side, and a dead son somewhere in the clearing. 

“My father would be sickened by the sight of you.” Allura stated harshly. “ _I’m_ sickened. To think that after all this time of diplomacy, all this time that we were labelled as _friends_ , you would go and disgrace your people in such a way.” 

The king keeps his hands fisted in his lap, eyes dark and defeated as Efia glared somewhere in the corner. 

The Galra had retreated after too many of their own were slain. Upon coming to this realization, the king was quick to flee and would have succeeded, if not for Shiro’s quick thinking beforehand. 

Allura had been itching to get her hands on the male and was proving just as ruthless as Shiro had predicted. 

“We had no choice-” The king started mekely. 

Allura scoffed. “You had every chance to change your mind. And because of you, your people are all at risk of being enslaved, or killed.”

“My people have already been killed.” The king snarled. “Your precious Paladin murdered my son. You are no better than the Galra.”

Allura stepped forward and slapped the king with the grace only a princess could carry. Or Lance. But Shiro is a bit caught off guard and feels himself blush as Allura stepped back with a fire in her eyes he’d never seen before. 

“Your son would have killed both of my Paladins if not for Lance’s actions.” She spat. “We are nothing like the Galra. If we were, I’d have you killed right here right now in front of all your people without a second thought.” 

“But?” Efia sneered.

Shiro resisted the urge to drop the girl when Allura flashed her a look.  

 “But I won’t do that.” She murmured. Shiro released his grip he had on the king and motioned for Hunk to do the same with Efia before they both stepped around to take their place beside Allura’s shoulder. “Lotor will soon learn of your failed attempt at Voltron’s capture. He will seek you out and make every single thing you feared, a living nightmare. And Voltron will not be at your disposal, we, are not at your disposal.”

Allura stared them down for a couple seconds more before motioning for Shiro and Hunk to follow her out of the hut. 

“I suggest you tell your people what is coming, so that they may prepare and leave before this planet is ravished. I hope you got what you were seeking.” 

*

“Does this make us even?” 

Lance stopped rubbing his salve covered hands along Keith’s pale back and let out a snort. Loud enough that Keith jumped and peeked back at where Lance was laughing into the safety of his wrist. 

“You’re getting there, Mullet.” Lance giggled. “Pretty sure me dying for you is higher up on the scale right now.” 

“I almost had it though.” Keith insisted. “I mean, I passed out.” 

“You fell asleep, Keith.” 

Keith flailed his arms frantically. “I nearly _died_ for you!” 

“Yeah.” Lance agreed. “ _Nearly_. I did, technically, die for you. So no, we aren’t even. Not even close.” 

Keith huffed and began pouting as Lance resumed his gentle strokes along the taut skin of his back. A little unknown fact about the pods was that although they worked wonders in terms of healing but pretty traumatic scars failed to disappear as fast as they initially thought. Meaning Keith was stuck with some pretty nasty scars that pulled the skin uncomfortably tight and required a special cream to loosen the skin. 

“Thank you.” Lance whispered, glancing up at the back of Keith’s neck. “For saving me like that. You didn’t-” 

“I wanted to.” Keith cut in quickly. “You’re important to me.” 

Lance traces one of the fresh scars one more time before pulling away and packing up the small packet of cream with a faint blush. It had been a few vargas since Keith came tumbling out of the pod with a groan on his lips, and it was actually the first time they’d been together, _alone_ , since the battle. 

“How am I doing so far?”

Lance looked up at where Keith had turned his body to be facing his own on the small med table. He’s still wiping off his hands and tries to look interested enough in the action so he doesn’t have to stare into Keith’s eyes. He’s not ready to risk that flustered reaction yet. 

So he shrugged. “Pretty good, I guess. I mean, you did save my life.” 

“ _Twice_.” Keith corrected with a smug grin. 

Lance shoves at his chest. “Shut it, Mullet. I’m still mad at you.” 

Which was sort of true. It’s the kind of mad you bring up in later arguments or hold on to until you can really throw it back in the other person’s face.Which isn't healthy. That will only cause more fights, more crying, and more... _this_. Lance is trying to find a way to let that go, has done so a little since his time with Nuru, and he hopes that his love for Keith is enough to soothe the scars left by both their words. 

“I think you’re not being fair, Lance.” Keith muttered, looking up at the other boy through his lashes. 

And that’s dirty. Lance snickers and goes to push at Keith again only to be stopped by a gloved hand that holds gentle at his wrist and tugs him close. 

“I think,” Lance counters, “That you’re trying to make this easy on yourself.” 

Keith scoffs. “Nearly dying and saving your life isn’t easy, Lance. What else do you want?”

“ _You_.” Lance blurts.

He feels his cheeks heat only seconds after the word spills from his mouth. Not his intention, by the way. He meant to say something else. Or something near what he had said. But that was too bold and now he wants to run, even tugs a bit on Keith’s grip with a nervous smile. 

“I should go tell Shiro you’re-”

“I can do that.” Keith stated, eyes bright with determination. “I’ll do it.” 

Lance raised a brow and nudged at Keith. “Why?” He asks with a smirk. “Because you want to be even so badly?”

And Keith doesn’t smile in return, he carefully wraps an arm around Lance’s waist and pulls his body up against him with a bit of struggle. Lance is all long legs and light weight, so the maneuver is all that really trips Keith up. But once he manages, after an elbow to the jaw, to get Lance situated in his lap, it’s not really funny anymore. 

“I don’t _need_ to get even with you, Lance.” Keith murmured against his sternum. “Achieving that could take forever.” 

“That’s a lot of commitment.” Lance agreed quietly. 

Keith hummed, trailed a hand up to rest between Lance’s shoulder blades and flashed a small smile. A smile that served to make Lance’s heart jump in his chest and knock the air from his lungs every goddamn time. “I think I’m capable.” He smirked.

“That a challenge?” 

Keith shrugged. “Won’t be with you up against me.” 

Lance narrowed his eyes and jabbed his finger into the curve of Keith’s collarbone before hissing, “You’re so on, Mullet.” and shaking the other boy.

“ _Easy_.” Keith winced, retracting Lance’s heavy grip on his upper shoulder. The scar beneath his fingers was flushed red and Lance immediately pulled back with a quiet apology. 

“They still hurt?”

Keith cracked his neck and made a sound of indifference. “Just tight.” He muttered. “I’m not one to talk though. Not after you.” 

Lance looked down at where Keith was glaring at the slight raise of skin visible through the flight suit. The material was just thin enough to be able to feel where the caramel flesh had been knit back together and Keith didn’t seem too happy running his thumb along the scar. 

“I hate that they marked you.” Keith whispers with a frown. "They marked what's mine."

Lance feels the air leave his lungs in a short drag that has Keith looking up at him curiously. They’re really close now. Closer than they’ve been in a long while, he thinks. And it doesn’t hurt that they’re alone. Or maybe it does. 

But Keith’s got his hand gently, oh so gently, pressed into the meat of his upper thigh like he doesn’t want to let go. Like the suggestion of that will set him off as his eyes slide up and down, taking their time to note their current position. And there’s a pretty obvious,  _oh shit_ , moment. 

Lance thinks Keith is gonna let go, now. Hopes, desperately, that Keith _doesn’t_ , but the fear is there. And in response to that fear, Keith’s grip tightens while his other hand slips into the hair at his nape and pulls him closer. Keith inhales nice and slow. He’s flushed all pretty in a way that makes Lance’s knees weak, and his eyes flash a pale yellow in a predatory stare that _should_ be alarming. Lance has seen those eyes in a very different situation, but that alone is telling Lance that Keith wants his trust. And he has it. He trusts Keith with his life. 

“I’m just gonna-” Keith breathes quietly. 

Lance feels the words exhaled on his cheeks and blinks a few times as he instinctively leans closer, holds his arms loose around Keith’s neck as the med table creaks with the odd weight. And it’s okay. He tells Keith that as quietly as he can manage so that it’s enough to set the ball rolling.

Keith nods to himself before the fingers on his thigh dip none too gently into his hip and tug him until his knees smack the metal table and their chests meet in a fitted slide. A startled yelp leaves Lance’s mouth, and with a now open entrance, Keith takes his shot. 

It’s very obviously a kiss. 

Keith might lack just as much experience as Lance does, so their noses bumped together on impact and their teeth click in greeting. Lance’s lower lip get caught in the crossfire and someone's blood is drawn, but Keith just groans into the taste and reaches up to tilt Lance’s head for a better angle. Like this, Lance has to arch back a bit and settle low in Keith’s lap to make up for the height difference, but Keith is anything but deterred. He bullies Lance down until his back lays half pressed against the wall and half pressed against the table while practically plunging his tongue between the Cuban’s lips. 

Is it supposed to be like this? Lance can’t really breathe and he realizes he doesn’t want to if it means Keith has to pull away.

He would stay like this forever if he could. 

“K-Keith.” Lance gasps, sucking in air greedily because holy _fuck._ It’s only a moment's rest before Keith surged forward once more and cupped at his cheeks, happily swallowing any breathless moans that could leak out. They must be getting the hang of it. Keith is far bolder as he slides his hands down Lance’s ribs, traces the curve of his back, and presses into the dimples right above his ass. He tugs again, hikes Lance flush against him because he’s too. Fucking. Far.

Lance is going to bruise. Little pieces of Keith that he’ll treasure for a long time. And he realizes, when he blinks his eyes open a bit, that Keith might lose some mullet. His hands wind tight in the length of his hair and yank as a way to ground himself when Keith’s lips find purchase on his neck. He’s always wanted to do this. Goes red all over with the thought that his dreams were becoming a reality. 

Or maybe a fucking nightmare.

Shiro clears his throat somewhere in the corner and they both freeze. Keith’s still latched on somewhere along his upper jaw, and Lance is pretty much keeping him there with the grip he has on the boys head. 

Oh, and Keith’s still topless. 

“It’s Shiro, isn’t it?” Keith whispered grimly. 

Lance nodded and eased up on the handful of hair he had claimed. “It was nice knowing you?” 

Keith laughs quietly. “Maybe we can run for it.” 

Shiro made them both wince as he took a step back and held the infirmary doors open with a hand. “I didn’t see anything.” He said slowly, eyes trying desperately to avoid looking even _near_ them. “You two should find somewhere private.” 

“Technically we had privacy until-”

“ _Lance_ ,” Shiro barked, cheeks red at this point. “You know what I mean. And Keith, put a damn shirt on.” 

Lance let’s out a snort as Shiro disappears as quickly as he’d come, and Keith’s own snickers join his orchestra until he's resting his forehead against Lance's shoulder and chuckling. “Alright, Mullet. Let’s get you dressed.” 

Keith takes the offered shirt but grows solemn with his silence. “You know I really care about you, right?" He says, face scrunched as if trying to find the right words. "And I can't tell you, how much I feel for you."

Lance stops to look at him for a short moment before stepping between Keith’s spread knees and ruffling his hair. “Course you feel all that. I’m great.”  

Keith shoved at him with a pout but Lance refused to let go, he even smoothed his hands along his back gently to reel the boy in and calm his nerves. “I know, Keith.” He murmured. "I love you too. You _and_ your stupid mullet.” 

“Stop lying to yourself!” Keith screeched as Lance pulled away with a grin. “You’re all over it anytime we touch!” 

“I would cut it off in a heartbeat if you gave me the chance.” 

Keiths inhuman snarls are all the warning Lance get’s before he’s taken to the ground with a squawk and forced to surrender or risk being slobbered all over. 

"Wait!" Lance gasped, holding a hand to Keith's chest. "Does this mean we're dating?"

Keith stared down at him for a short moment before finding some sort of resolve on his own with a nod. "I'm spitting on you." He stated.

Lance squirmed beneath him with a scream like snort that made Keith smirk. The other boy doesn't understand the work be puts into his skin care routine and he would  _not_ have him messing it up now.

He’s not even sure why he _likes_  Keith.

The boy was rude, he rarely ever smiled, and yes. Keith was an asshole.

 _It’s the mullet_ , Lance thinks. _Definately the mullet._

Damn thing stole his heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So um. I think this is it? I may or may not add a little extra chapter, nothing much, but a final FINAL end to this ending. Weird, huh. But we've reached that eventual happy ending and I don't know. I'm a little sad that I have nothing more to add to this story. But I'm really happy with the way it came together. Everyone that commented and gave kudos, you're really amazing. I loved the commentary and conversations you all have given me, it's just been more than I could have asked for. Keith and Lance are gonna be fine I think. I'm sure they will still argue because that's what rivals do, but they really do love each other. The kind of love that thrives on conflict and heated passion. And Shiro might be a bit shook after walking in on them, but you know his ass went back and told everyone like the little drama queen he is. Hehe. The next update may be random or never come at all. So I'll say my goodbyes now just in case. I loved this, I loved all of you, and I thank you all for your time.


End file.
